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Talk:Aashiqui 2/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 12:44, 2 June 2013 (UTC) Will post over next 48 hours.♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 12:45, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "It does not follow the regular sequel format but like a franchise with no resemblance to the previous story." Doesn't make sense.
 Done: Removed. Prashant 13:57, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Rahul and Arohi and their romantic relationship, which goes through love and hate, twists and turbulence, success and failure in their lives. Poorly worded "twists and turbulence looks rather awkward, just say that the romantic relationship between Rahul and Arohi is turbulent.
 Done: tweaked. Prashant 13:57, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nothing at all on the plot or production of the film
 Done: Introduced production details in the lead. Prashant 13:57, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The film's music received positive reviews from critics and became very popular after its release; the songs "Tum Hi Ho" and "Sun Raha Hai" topped the charts across various platforms in India." Shouldn't this be after actual reception?
 Done: Placed it after reception. Prashant 13:57, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lead needs a copyedit and reshuffle with a better summary of the backgorund to the film.
 Done: Copyedited it and summarized important details about its production and background. Prashant 13:57, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Plot
  • "As the film opens, large crowd was waiting " Large crowd isn't a person, you mean "a" large crowd.
 Done: Prashant 14:56, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " instead spreads a story that Rahul is out of the country for some stage shows." how about "instead publicizes a story that Rahul has left the country to participate in stage shows."
 Done: Prashant 14:56, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Despite Aarohi's mother's disapproval, Aarohi moves in with Rahul and things go well until Rahul's addiction start to increase, causing him to become aggressive and violent." "start to increase" try worsens.
 Done: Prashant 14:56, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "To help Rahul fight his alcoholism, Aarohi takes him away to try and cure him but leaves her singing commitments." How about "Aarohi attempts to rehabilitate Rahul, sacrificing her singing career in doing so."
 Done: Prashant 14:56, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Plot overall really needs a polish.

 Done: I have corrected everything, copy-edited and polished it. Prashant 14:56, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Production

"Several media publications questioned remaking the original film, described as an "ageless musical", which is considered to be one the best Indian musicals of all time. They were concerned whether the music would meet the expectations of the previous film. Some said that it would be a big challenge to recreate music of that calibre." . Described as an ageless musical looks out of context here, text is superfluous. something like "Numerous media publications questioned the remaking of Aashiqui, given that the film is generally considered to be one of the best Indian musicals of all time, and were dubious that the producers could produce a soundtrack which rivalled it.

 Done: Prashant 14:56, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

I've given that and the lower sections an edit. Pretty good effort overall, thanks for addressing the points, much improved now. I couldn't find much on actual production either. I'm happy to pass this now. You might want to look out for the highest grossing claims as India has a busy film industry and it could soon be challenged and become out of date.♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 16:25, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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