Talk:Aaron (son of Ivan Vladislav)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 16:30, 30 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

GA Criteria

GA Criteria:

1
1.a Y

1.b Y
2
2.a Y

2.b Y

2.c Y

2.d Y
3
3.a Y

3.b Y
4
4.a Y
5
5.a Y
6
6.a Y

6.b Y

No DAB links Y
No dead links Y
No missing citations Y

Discussion

@Cplakidas: That is all my suggestions, passing now. -- Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 16:59, 30 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Prose Suggestions

Please note that all of these are suggestions, and can be implemented or ignored at your discretion.

Suggest expanding lede while still keeping it one paragraph, if possible; perhaps by mentioning his kids, or expanding the bit about his role against the uprising of Isaac I Komnenos.
was a younger son of the last tsar of the First Bulgarian Empire, suggest was the third son...
In this capacity, isn't super clear if this means as patrikios or protoproedros; suggest As protoproedros, and explain what both mean.

Life

After the death of Ivan Vladislav in February 1018 suggest mentioning when this invasion first took place; also you should probably call him Ivan as it is the second mentioning of him in a short amount of text.
The mountain was surrounded by Basil with guards, until the three brothers surrendered after receiving guarantees for their safety. suggest Basil surrounded the mountain with troops (unless the implication is that it was Basil's own royal guard, in which case I would mention that), and the three brothers surrendered after receiving guarantees of safety.
Presian received the high title of magistros (by which it appears that he was the eldest and his father's heir-apparent), while Alusian and Aaron received the title of patrikios suggest Presian received the high title of magistros (suggesting that he was the eldest son, and his father's heir), while Alusian and Aaron recieved the lower title of patrikios.
Presian was later involved in a plot against Emperor Romanos III Argyros in c. 1029, suggest Presian was later involved in a plot to usurp the throne from Emperor Romanos III Argyros in c. 1029, resulting in him being blinding and exiled to a monastery.
and the second brother, Alusian, was involved in the failed Uprising of Peter Delyan in 1040.[4] suggest Alusian was involved in the failed Uprising of Peter Delyan in 1040. Also, I'd mention how he usurped the throne of the revolt before betraying it to the Byzantines, and how he was made magistros for it.

Military career

Aaron himself is known from literary sources and his seals of office to have served as military governor (katepano) of Vaspurakan (the seal mentions the titles of patrikios, anthypatos, and vestes) in c. 1046/47. suggest Aaron is known from both literary sources and his seals of office to have served as military governor (katepano) of Vaspurakan in c. 1046/47; at this time, as shown by his seals, he held the titles patrikios, anthypatos, and vestes.
During this time, along with Katakalon Kekaumenos, he faced the first large-scale invasions of the Seljuq Turks into Byzantine-held Armenia. A first invasion, under a certain "Hasan the Deaf" was destroyed by the two Byzantine commanders east of Lake Van in 1048. suggest During this time Aaron, alongside Katakalon Kekaumenos, the katepano of Ani, faced the first large-scale invasion of the Seljuq Turks into Byzantine-held Armenia. The first invasion, led by Hasan the Deaf, was defeated by both commanders east of the Lake Van in 1048.
while they awaited the arrival of reinforcements under the Georgian prince Liparit IV, Duke of Kldekari. suggest while they awaited the arrival of reinforcements led by the Georgian prince Liparit IV. (you should probably remove Duke of Kldekari IMO, as he already has the given title of Georgian prince)
In the centre, however, Inal managed to capture Liparit, a fact of which the two Byzantine commanders were not informed until the next day. suggest In the centre, however, Inal managed to capture Liparit, which the two Byzantine commanders would not learn until the next day.
During the uprising of the eastern generals under his brother-in-law Isaac I Komnenos in 1057, Aaron remained loyal to Emperor Michael VI (r. 1056–1057), and commanded the left flank of the Imperial army at the decisive Battle of Hades. During the battle, his men routed their opponents and pressed on to their camp, but Aaron hesitated to complete his victory, allowing the rebel army time to reverse the situation and defeat the Imperial forces. would definitely expand this to explain that Isaac ended up seizing the throne; else the defeat seems inconsequential.

Family

Aaron gave his name to the noble Byzantine family of Aaron or Aaronios (plural: Aaronioi), which included all descendants of John Vladislav, including the Alousianoi, the descendants of Alusian. suggest {{Xt|Aaron gave his name to the noble Byzantine family of Aaron (or Aaronios, plural: Aaronioi), which included all descendents of John Vladislav (also explain who that is), and the the descendants of Alusian (who are also called the Alousianoi)