Talk:Aarhus/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 15:53, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll leave some initial comments shortly. Thanks, ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:53, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the wait. Doing the review now... ☠ Jaguar ☠ 09:51, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

The lead is possibly too long for this article, even though four paragraphs is seen as acceptable for an article this size perhaps a couple of sentences could be cut from the second or fourth paragraph (per WP:LEADLENGTH). It would make a difference, however I wouldn't consider this affecting the GAN.
"Aarhus Airport, with only a few scheduled flights each day, is located 40 kilometres (25 mi) north-east of Aarhus..." - do you think it would be better to move this half of the paragraph to the third one? The third paragraph seems to talk about landmarks and places of interest while this part of the fourth paragraph seems disconnected?

History

Picture caption: "Danish resistance celebrating im Aarhus in May 1945" - typo

Done

"The Ceres breweries was established in 1856 and served as Aarhus local beer for more than 150 years" - should this be "served as Aarhus' local beer" or "served as the local beer of Aarhus?"

Done

"In 1998, the Protocol on Heavy Metals was adopted in Aarhus, and had 36 signatories as of 2004" - this doesn't explain what the Protocol on Heavy Metals is?

Done --Ipigott (talk) 11:50, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Geography

"The harbour was initially to the north of the town and until 1800 was located on the north bank of the river" - how about The harbour was initially to the north of Aarhus and until 1800 it was relocated to the north bank of the river? Or something similar?

I think I've clarified what is meant.

Done--Ipigott (talk) 11:55, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Economy

"In the clean energy sector, Aarhus is home to leading players" - this sounds more like football and not the clean energy sector! How about competitors

Not sure they are competitor so I've called them participants although players is quite common in the business context too.

Done

"...the centre is sponsored by Aarhus University School of Engineering, Aarhus School of Marine and Technical Engineering (AAMS) and INCUBA" - what does INCUBA stand for? Assuming it stands for something as the others were explained before it!

It seems simply to be a rather nice-sounding name, probably invoking incubation of new ideas. I wondered myself what it stood for but couldn't find anything. So we'll just have to leave it as it is.--Ipigott (talk) 12:18, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ah don't worry about it, it seems fine! Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 19:34, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"The Bryggerient Sct. Clemens brewery and public house and the LGBT Pan Club on Jægergårdsgade are also pf interest" - I've corrected this one myself!

Culture

The first paragraph in this section seems rather cluttered which makes the prose harder to read. Maybe this could be broken into two smaller paragraphs for better readability?

Worked on the cluttering' problem and reintroduced noteable and culturally important bands (as per talk-page). More could be done. On Jazz. On HipHop. For example. RhinoMind (talk) 13:12, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Aarhus is also active in the library sphere" - just a question here, what is a library sphere?

I don't know what a library sphere is but I have worked for many years in the library sector and can assure you it is often referred to as the library sphere. See this for example. But I've now changed it to sector.

I was just wondering what library sphere meant, I understand the context in which it's used for! Either one is fine, sector or sphere... ☠ Jaguar ☠ 19:35, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Rephrased the library part. RhinoMind (talk) 12:24, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Education

"As of January 1, 2012 Aarhus University (AU) was the largest university in Denmark " - was or still is the largest university?

English variations

In some parts of the article I've seen uses of British English such as 'labour', 'centre', etc and in other places the article uses American spelling such as 'industrialized', 'realized', etc. This isn't actually going to affect the GAN, but I was just wondering which use of WP:ENGVAR this article should use? I shouldn't see this as a problem though as I've been scarred for life about ENGVAR!

The -ize verb forms are not American. I am English and I have used them for the past 65 years. They are also the preferred forms for the Oxford English Dictionary. Wikipedia sometimes goes too far in laying down rules!--Ipigott (talk) 15:12, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Yes agreed! Recently there was a discussion I had unintentionally caused about WP:ENGVAR, just got curious as some '-ize' verbs are also American... don't worry, it's fine as it is! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 19:36, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

References

There are no dead refs and all the citations are in their correct places, meeting the GA criteria.

On hold

This is a well written article even if some of the prose and readability could use some improving. The article is very comprehensive and well referenced too. The lead seems a bit too extensive and some of the prose in the Culture section seems cluttered. But having said that once those concerns have all been addressed then this Aarhus will stand a better chance of passing the GAN. I'll put this one on hold for the standard seven days and once they have been addressed I'll take another look at it. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 11:09, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've trimmed the sport covered in the lede. The length looks comparable to our other city GAs now. I've also given the culture section a minor copyedit and reordering to improve flow/quality of prose. ♦ Dr. Blofeld 14:55, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

Thank you very much for addressing those concerns so quickly and adding more to the article! You'll be happy to know that it now definitely meets the GA criteria, the lead has been improved, the prose has definitely improved and has been polished and the references were fine to begin with. The article is very comprehensive and of high quality - definitely worthy of GA status if not on already on the road to FA. I hear you're also planning to bring Denmark's five largest cities to GA, is Frederiksberg the last one? Anyway, congratulations! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 19:43, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! We've now got the top 5 up to GA as Frederiksberg is usually considered as part of Copenhagen I think. It would be worth getting to GA too at some point though. Randers is next though.♦ Dr. Blofeld 20:05, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]