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Talk:A Trip to the Dentist/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Jacedc (talk · contribs) 01:15, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll be happy to take this on. User:Jacedc (talk) 01:15, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
§ Background
  • No major errors, just a few nit-picky things concerning the prose:
  1. the mystery surrounding which is resolved — the surrounding mystery, or the mystery surrounding it, or something else? Needs clarification.
  •  Done
  1. and the next thing she knew, she woke up in a strange bed missing her underwear — I would change this to reflect a little bit more out-of-universe style. Perhaps "and suddenly woke up in an unidentified bed missing her underwear"
  •  Done

More to come soon. :) User:Jacedc (talk) 01:25, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

§ Synopsis
  • I know it's common, especially in TV episodes, to follow a "synopsis"-style convention with short, few word sentences, though some of them could easily be merged, if not elaborated upon. For example:
  1. Keith (Enrico Colantoni) surprises a now-bearded Duncan (Teddy Dunn). Duncan denies killing Lilly (Amanda Seyfried). could be changed to Keith (Enrico Colantoni) surprises a now-bearded Duncan (Teddy Dunn), who denies killing Lilly (Amanda Seyfried).
  2. That night, Logan shows up at Veronica's door. Logan apologizes but Veronica informs him about her rape. could be changed to That night, Logan shows up at Veronica's door and apologizes, but Veronica informs him about her rape."
I'll get to this soon. This is a common criticism, but I write most of these synopses as I'm watching the episode for the first time… Johanna (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 02:14, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Johanna (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 03:28, 28 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
§ Misc.
  • I'll put miscellaneous notes about the article itself (not specific to any section) here. First up is "(Kristen Bell" is missing a parenthesis in the infobox's image caption.
  •  Done
  • Make sure to reduce the amount of duplicate links within the article. For example, Amanda Seyfried is linked in both the Background and Synopsis sections. Sam Huntington is linked in both the Synopsis and Production sections. You might consider using this tool.
  • I've installed that tool and removed all the duplicate links that I believe are unnecessary.
§ Arc significance
  • This section is rather small. Could the text be included in the Synopsis section, or at least turned into a level 3 section?
  • I removed it. It's just repetitive of the synopsis anyway.
§ Production
  • Huntington later stated, "I can honestly say that Veronica Mars has changed my life" and that he had made some of his closest friends while on set, including Ryan Hansen and Kristen Bell — this sentence has a rather odd placement to me. The rest of the paragraph focused more on the story, whereas this sentence jumps to the feelings of one of the actors.
§ Themes
  • "official resolution of the rape narrative denies a traditional "whodunit" ending," a quotation inside a quotation should use single quotation marks (')
  •  Done whoops.
  • James and Mona Rocha argued that while Veronica showed poor judgment in the episode, the blame for her rape should not be put on her— ... I think somewhere a quotation mark is missing, as the sentence goes on with an ending quotation mark.
  •  Done
§ Reviews
  • I will do this section in the morning. Good work so far! User:Jacedc (talk) 03:06, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • comparing it to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "both these shows have always managed ... either the period after "Slayer" needs to be changed or the following quote needs some sort of segue. In either case, the first letter of the quote likely needs to be capitalized.
  •  Done

Okay, @Johanna: All done! When these issues are addressed I will be happy to pass the article. Good work. :) User:Jacedc (talk) 17:17, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Jacedc: Hi! Sorry that it took a little while, but I should be done now. Let me know what you think! :) Johanna (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 03:28, 28 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good to me! Pass. Congratulations. :) User:Jacedc (talk) 19:50, 28 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
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