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Talk:A New Day Has Come/GA1

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 04:05, 22 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Can't believe this has been on GAN for so long! Here's my review.

  • "It's her first new studio album" - I think "it's" should be "It was". It's a personal editing choice, but I think given ambiguity between "it is" and "it was", I'd rather see it written out in the past tense.
  • "Dion returned after a two-year hiatus where she gave birth to her first child." - where -> when
  • "including the new Swedish team" - was that their nickname? I think that sounds unencyclopediac, since there's nowhere else in the article where that term is mentioned.
  • "reaching top forty" - for here and other instances, shouldn't it be "reaching the top forty?"
  • "Since then, she has performed publicly only a handful of times, including September 21, 2001" - shouldn't this be "she had performed"?
  • "According to Dion, the album's title, A New Day Has Come, acknowledged a chapter in her life and career" - I hate to ask, given the title, but would it be "acknowledged a new chapter?" Is this a quote?
  • "However, she was also deeply affected by the events of September 11 and wanted the words to serve as a reminder of the tragedy as well." - "as well" isn't needed
  • "Angélil, Dion, and the Sony family began fielding songs at the beginning of 2001" - The previous mention of "Angélil" was Dion's newborn, so I don't think that's what's meant here. Also, "fielding"? Maybe "selecting prospective" would work better and more natural?
  • "seven-months old baby" - IMO that should be "month"
  • I've never felt more powerful." I want this album to be soothing," - parenthesis problem?
  • ""If people need a partner, a helping hand, to cry, to dance, whatever it is, I want it to be like a little shoulder to lean on. As we all know, the world is going through a lot."" - this seems a bit extraneous, IMO. Your call though.
  • "which Dion first heard three years ago" - ago -> prior
  • "1947's song" - 's isn't needed
  • Ref 11 seems unreliable, given it's from Amazon. Can you get a better source for that info?
  • "The Destiny's Child" - remove "The"
  • "For the finale, the divas performed a special Elvis Presley medley which included Dion's "Can't Help Falling in Love." - so was that song off a Dion album? Or was that Dion's solo in the medley? If that's the case, it should be rewritten.
  • "at number twenty-two" - any reason you didn't do "22"? Ditto elsewhere in the article for numbers above 10.
    • Per WP:MOSNUM, this still needs to be done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:17, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • At first I have changed the numbers from words to figures but I have read the WP:MOSNUM and it says: "As a general rule, in the body of an article, single-digit whole numbers from zero to nine are spelled out in words; numbers greater than nine, if they are expressed in one or two words, may be rendered in numerals or in words (16 or sixteen, 84 or eighty-four, 200 or two hundred). So I have restored the words. Max24 (talk) 01:11, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Critical reception" is good, largely because it uses so many quotes.
  • "and as of December 5, 2010, it has sold 3,307,000 copies in the United States" - any more recent?

All in all, pretty good. Lemme know when you deal with these. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:05, 22 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done :) The source form December 5, 2010 is the most recent. Thank you for the review! The article has been on GAN for so long... Max24 (talk) 11:49, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Yea, it was on GAN way too long. I reposted a few things that weren't quite done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:17, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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