Jump to content

Talk:A Black Mile to the Surface/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will take this on soon, after your great review of "Welcome to Heartbreak"! --K. Peake 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
  • Remove the plural of studio from any in the parameter since that is not supposed to be added in infobox
  • Remove wikilink on Favorite Gentlemen
  • Remove wikilink on studio album because it's too obvious
  • "released on July 27, 2017," → "released on July 21, 2017,"
  • "beginning in the summer of 2016" → "from the summer of 2016 onwards"
  • "The lead-off single," → "The lead single," with the wikilink
  • Target singles to Single (music)
  • "and "The Moth," were released ahead..." → "and "The Moth", were released later in the summer." because the commercial info doesn't belong here
  • Remove the introductions to who Andy Hull and Robert McDowell are because you've done that in the body
  • "that was far different from previous releases" → "that was a reset from the band's previous studio albums," plus mention the two were from 2014
  • "The resulting album is" → "A Black Mile to the Surface is" because the link is not directly sourced
  • Remove the term "influenced", as those are directly sourced as genres
  • Add a sentence about the album's critical reception, followed by one about the commercial side

Background and production

[edit]
  • "of those two albums," → "of the two albums,"
  • "inspired the band's" → "inspired Manchester Orchestra's"
  • Add a bit more from the reset para that is quoted, but not too much to avoid WP:OVERQUOTE
  • Punctuation should not be inside the speech marks for the song titles
  • "actually commit to it.'"" → "actually commit to it'"." per MOS:QUOTE
  • "over a period of" → "over periods of" for accurate representation
  • "Hull says that" → "Hull said that"
  • ""one final push" that perfected" → ""one [final] push" for" per parphrasing of "one more push"
  • "Manchester Orchestra recorded the album" → "Manchester Orchestra recorded A Black Mile to the Surface"
  • "indie rock producers,"" → "indie rock producers"," with the wikilink
  • "Marks describes the" → "Marks described the"
  • "The band traveled to" → "Manchester Orchestra traveled to"
  • "at home in" → "at their headquarters in"

 Done all of the above Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Themes and composition

[edit]
  • Retitle to Composition and themes per order
  • The alternative rock genre is not backed up, per the source: "For a band as consistent in the alt-rock realm as Manchester Orchestra, a reinvention like this can be a gamble." The quote only calls the band alt-rock.
    • PopMatters filed it under both indie and alternative rock, so I used that source for both
  • [15][14] only the latter should be kept here since [15] is invoked later in the sentence too, plus [14] should only be here rather than earlier as well Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [15][16] the latter should not be here because it's at the end of the sentence Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove Pixies because the AllMusic source says the one song sound like them is the exception
  • [17][16] put in numerical order
  • The town being home of DUNE is not sourced
    • Removed the DUNE, left in SURF, which is mentioned by the source
  • Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
  • "the first four tracks on the album "set a" → "the first four tracks set "a"
  • "dark theme," the narrative part of the record" → "dark theme", the narrative part of A Black Mile to the Surface" per MOS:QUOTE
  • ""try and do" → ""[t]ry and do" per the original's capitalisation
  • "want to play."" → "want to play"."
  • "Marks' vision for the record" → "Marks' vision for the album"
  • "different rooms of the studio" → "different rooms of the studios"
  • The acoustic effects part is unsourced
    • Changed it to "reverberations", per the source.
  • "Penultimate track "The Parts,"" → "The penultimate track ,"The Parts","
  • "in the studio's bathtub," → "in a studio's bathtub," per it not being known which studio
  • "of the album is" → "of A Black Mile to the Surface is
  • "insignificance of yourself."" → "insignificance of yourself"."
  • "means that "[w]hen this" → "means: "When this"
  • "The album's title, "A Black Mile to the Surface," derives" → "The title of the album derives" per the title already being mentioned in this para
  • Wikilink "The Gold"

Release and promotion

[edit]
  • Concord Music Hall is not mentioned anywhere in this section, so either add a mention of it or reword the img text
  • "by the album's first single," → "by the album's lead single," with the wikilink
  • Remove wikilink on "The Gold"
  • Pipe single to Single (music)
  • Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
  • "was released two weeks later" → "was released 13 days later" per the source
  • "on July 10." → "on July 10, 2017."
  • "on July 21, 2017 through" → "on July 21, 2017, through"
  • Remove comma after independent label
  • "On June 12, only a few days after announcing their upcoming album," → "On June 12, 2017, only a few days after the album's announcement,"
  • Lowercase the Front Bottoms per MOS:THEMUSIC
  • "to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Mean Everything To Nothing." → "to celebrate Manchester Orchestra's 10th anniversary of Mean Everything to Nothing." per MOS:NUM
  • "Black Mile chapter."" → "Black Mile chapter"." per MOS:QUOTE

Reception

[edit]

Commercial performance

[edit]
  • Swap this sub-section with critical reception for the correct order
  • "for the band." → "for Manchester Orchestra."
  • "It debuted the album at #33 on the main" → "It debuted at number 33 on the US" but this sentence and the others are not backed up by the Billboard ref
  • "also entered the Billboard Alternative Albums chart at number six," → "also entered at number six on the Billboard Alternative Albums chart,"
  • "the Billboard Rock Albums chart at number seven" → "at number seven on the Billboard Rock Albums chart"
  • Don't think the slight drop in success is really notable
  • "peaked at #59 on" → "peaked at number 59 on"
  • "#73 on the" → "number 73 on the"
  • "and #93 on the United Kingdom charts." → "and number 93 on the United Kingdom chart."
  • The above chart positions are not backed up; try to add ref names from the table to fix this

Critical reception

[edit]
  • Italicise The A.V. Club, Pitchfork and PopMatters
  • "was released to generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
  • Remove the indication part since you have already mentioned the reviews being generally positive
  • "wrote that the band" → "wrote that Manchester Orchestra"
  • Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section; remember that these do not apply to full sentences though
    • Only saw one I had to change.
  • Wikilink acoustic guitars
  • "... inviting comparisons" → "[...] inviting comparisons"
  • Target samples to Sampling (music)

Track listing

[edit]

Personnel

[edit]

Charts

[edit]

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score looks fairly decent at 30.6%
  • Top job with the archiving!
  • Cite HMV as publisher instead for ref 7
  • Cite Uproxx as publisher instead for ref 8
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 9 and 19
  • MusicTech.net → MusicTech on ref 10
  • Replace Noisey with Vice in the work parameter for ref 18, plus remove the publisher
  • Paste Magazine → Paste on refs 21 and 23
  • Remove the publisher from ref 22
  • Cite NPR as publisher instead for ref 24
  • Upset Magazine → Upset on ref 25
  • Ref 31 is not needed and can be replaced with the chart history from the table using a ref name and/or a Billboard news article
  • Cite Freitas after Ryan in the first name parameter for ref 35

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
@Kyle Peake: I think everything has been addressed! If you've got a moment, I'd be very appreciative if you reviewed Painting of a Panic Attack, but no worries if not! Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Kncny11: You have missed a number of MOS:QUOTE issues; to be specific, this refers to when a full sentence is not quoted and the punctuation is inside the speech marks, so examples where the end of the sentence is a quote like PopMatters need to be fixed. --K. Peake 19:04, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Kyle Peake: Those should also be fixed now. Apologies. Kncny11 (shoot) 19:12, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Kncny11: There are still a number of points where you have placed commas inside speech marks. --K. Peake 19:50, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Kyle Peake: Everything should be fixed now. Kncny11 (shoot) 19:57, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Kncny11: ✓ Pass now, congrats to your efforts even after I had to leave a few comments and do some copy editing after your initial response! --K. Peake 20:41, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:A_Black_Mile_to_the_Surface/GA1&oldid=1012521876"