Talk:808s & Heartbreak/GA2
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Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 04:14, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
Sorry for the late review. Let's get started, shall we? :)
- Lead
- "released November 24, 2008 on Roc-A-Fella Records in the United States." "On" should be changed to "by".
- Done.
- "Conceived in the wake of multiple events that distressed him in the previous year, the album marked a major musical departure for West from his previous work, lyrically, vocally, and production-wise." The comma between "comma" and "lyrically" is not needed.
- Done.
- "Despite a divided reaction from music audiences towards West's stylistic change," I think "varying responses" would be better in this instance.
- Done.
- Background
- "Months later, West and fiancée Alexis Phifer ended their engagement and their long-term on-off relationship, which had begun in 2002." "On-off" should be changed to "intermittent".
- Done.
- Recording
- "Towards this end, West enlisted T-Pain for coaching on how to utilize the technology." "This" should be changed to "the".
- Done.
- "West himself openly stated that he loves using Auto-Tune and is dismayed that the term has been commonly associated with being "wack"." "Loves" and "is" should reflect a past tense, since he already stated his opinion.
- Done.
- Composition
- No issues.
- Release and promotion
- No issues.
- Initial reaction
- No issues.
- Commercial performance
- No issues.
- Critical response
- "and dubbed it West's "superstar-freakout album: his Low, his Trans, his Kid A. The one where he decides that frozen remoteness is the only thing that makes sense". Add an "as" between "it" and "West's".
- Done. But I will undo per Dan's comment.
- Legacy and influence
- "Jake Paine of HipHopDX dubbed the album "our Chronic"," Same issues as the one above. Add an "as" between "album" and "our".
- Done.
- "Todd Martens of the Los Angeles Times has cited 808s & Heartbreak as "the template [...] for essentially the entirety of Drake's young career", and that wrote that Drake "shares West’s love for mood and never-ending existential analysis"." Removed the "has".
- Done.
That's all. Oh hold until these issues are resolved. —DAP388 (talk) 17:55, 28 July 2012 (UTC)
- Since I contributed to the article as well, particularly the critical response and legacy sections, I thought I'd comment: "dub" usually isnt followed w/"as"; correct as is (examples). Dan56 (talk) 23:11, 28 July 2012 (UTC)
I believe I have addressed all of DAP388's concerns on the article. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:35, 28 July 2012 (UTC)