Talk:3 Splash/GA1
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Reviewer: Azealia911 (talk · contribs) 11:51, 30 November 2015 (UTC)
General comments
[edit]- Per MOS:DATETIES, all dates should by DMY format, not MDY.
- There are a few dates you missed, reference 36 and the promotion section contain some MDY dates still. Please re-check.
- The M is still de-capitalized in the review box.
Lead and infobox
[edit]- Given that you divulge that the artwork is a CD-exclusive artwork, could you elaborate on what the digital artwork is and how it differs to it?
- Please address this.
- No need for the comma after "songwriter"
- "by Rhythm Zone." → "by record label Rhythm Zone."
- My apologies, this was my mistake, but it still doesn't sound right, try "by Koda's record label, Rythem Zone".
- Remove "and marketed as a single,"
- I may sound extremely dumb here, but what exactly is an "accessory pouch"? Could you possibly use another name for that?
- "Its artwork depicts Koda posing with the titles imprinted over her." → "The artwork for the EP depicts Koda posing, with the title of the work superimposed over her."
- No need for the comma after "producer" nor after "Hum"
Background and composition
[edit]- The opening sentance contains way too many clauses, please rewrite. I suggest "In 2009, Koda released two compilation albums, Out Works & Collaboration Best, and Koda Kumi Driving Hit's. Following this, along with the release of a collaborative single with her younger sister "Its All Love!", Koda announced plans of releasing a double album." "announced plans of releasing a double album." also needs a source.
- You can remove "(2009)".
- "that collected unreleased recordings from her album, Trick (2008); "Its All Love!" was later served as the studio album's lead single" → "that consisted of unreleased material from recording sessions for her 2008 album, Trick. "Its All Love!" was later served as the studio album's lead single."
- "Trick" should be in italics.
- "market as a single" → "marketed as a single"
- Switch the semi-colon after 3 Splash to a comma.
- Your linking of interludes takes me to a disambiguation page.
- Use quotation marks for the mentioning of "groovy".
- "the first recorded track" → "the first track to include vocals"
- "share some ideation" → "share[s] some ideation"
Promotion
[edit]- "The digital artwork features Koda holding a basketball; this artwork was used for the CD and DVD bundle." → "The CD and DVD bundle artwork features Koda holding a basketball, this artwork was also used for the digital release of the EP."
- Replace the semi-colon after "Japan" with a full-stop.
- "For "Lick Me" and "Ecstasy", it had been included" → ""Lick Me" and "Ecstasy" have been performed"
- "has only appeared" → "has so far only been performed"
Reception
[edit]- Are CD Journal and Hot Express print magazines? If not, they shouldn't be in italics.
- You present CD Journal in the review box, but CDJournal.com in the prose, use one.
- Switch "commended" after CDJournal.com to "complimented", to avoid overuse.
- "and labelled the EP" → "and described the EP"
- "3 Splash reached number two on its debuting week, her third consecutive EP to have stalled at number two." "3 Splash debuted at number two, Koda's third consecutive EP to have peaked at this position."
Tracklisting
[edit]- Re-title the section 'Track listing'
- This section is unsourced.
- "CD+DVD Bonus tracks" → "CD + DVD bonus tracks"
Personnel
[edit]- Unlink "executive producer"
Charts
[edit]- Remove the commercial performance for "Lick Me". While it's fine to mention how the singles performed in the Reception section, the charts section should focus on the performance of the work it's written about.
- Please use
! scope="row"
for entries.
Certifications
[edit]- Apply the first comment for the charts section here as well.
External links
[edit]- Remove ", powered by Rhythm Zone."
- Sorry this has taken me so long, and it's not even a finished review, but I thought something would be better than nothing. If you get my initial comments out of the way, we'll be a lot closer to a finished review, and I'll almost definitely have this wrapped up by the weekend. Azealia911 talk 19:41, 7 December 2015 (UTC)
- @Azealia911: Finished the adjustments and what you have commented on. Don't worry, all in good time, and thank you :) CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 23:54, 7 December 2015 (UTC)
- Thankyou very much for your patience, it is appreciated! Some more comments for you :) Azealia911 talk 09:43, 14 December 2015 (UTC)
- Done. @Azealia911: touched up on all the adjustments you commented on. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:29, 17 December 2015 (UTC)
- Thankyou for bearing with me CaliforniaDreamsFan! Address these comments and we can get this passed Azealia911 talk 12:44, 18 December 2015 (UTC)
- Done Azealia911 finished all the comments that have been submitted above :) CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 23:22, 19 December 2015 (UTC)
- Thankyou for bearing with me CaliforniaDreamsFan! Address these comments and we can get this passed Azealia911 talk 12:44, 18 December 2015 (UTC)
- Done. @Azealia911: touched up on all the adjustments you commented on. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:29, 17 December 2015 (UTC)
- Thankyou very much for your patience, it is appreciated! Some more comments for you :) Azealia911 talk 09:43, 14 December 2015 (UTC)
- @Azealia911: Finished the adjustments and what you have commented on. Don't worry, all in good time, and thank you :) CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 23:54, 7 December 2015 (UTC)