Talk:2019 West Coast Eagles season/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Harper J. Cole (talk · contribs) 11:34, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take on this review, as part of the July 2021 Backlog Drive.--Harper J. Cole (talk) 11:34, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

[Liam Ryan won Mark of the Year with his mark he took] --> "Liam Ryan won Mark of the Year with a mark he took"

Background

[After the five year agreement with East Perth ended] Add the date when it ended.

[This was the second highest number of memberships out of each AFL team in 2019.] --> "This was the second highest number of memberships out of the eighteen AFL teams in 2019."

2018 off-season changes

[whilst Nic Naitanui recovers from injury] --> "while Nic Naitanui recovered from injury"

[2018 was the first year where there was the trading of draft picks during the draft. During the draft, West Coast made three trades.] Rephrase so that "during the draft" doesn't come up twice in a row.

Rounds 1–12

[Gaff had been out due to an eight match ban received due to...] The repetition of "due to" is a little awkward. Maybe replace the second one with "for"?

[It was the greatest defeat of an AFL reigning premier since Richmond were beaten by Carlton by 62 points in 1981.] Specify Round 1 defeat, and Wikilink 1981 to 1981 VFL season.

[The grand final rematch was in round three] They played each other twice, so "The first grand final rematch..."

[an 18 point win] Hyphenate: "18-point".

[Liam Ryan took a spectacular mark] Put "spectacular" in inverted commas to show that it's a quote from the AFL website (and not an NPOV violation).

Wikilink stress fracture.

[increased their percentage considerably] Can you add a note explaining what percentage is in this context?

My instinct is that early rounds should be written as numbers rather than spelled out ("round 3" rather than "round three"), so that you aren't switching styles for round 11 onwards. I haven't been able to find official Wikipedia policy for this though - I'll leave it to your judgement.

[Willie Rioli and Nathan Vardy both received a one match suspension for rough conduct] Comma after "conduct"

Rounds 13–23

[a much anticipated return] Hyphenate: "much-anticipated".

[With scores level] Unless this phrasing is common in Australia, I'd expect "With the scores level".

[and the second largest margin] --> "and achieving the second largest margin"

[West Coast had a solid win, beating Carlton 75–99.] You've generally put the winning score first.

[It started raining at half time] You mentioned the margin at three-quarter time in the previous sentence - thus, we are now looking back on half time, so it should be "It had started raining at half time".

Awards

[the Rising Start award] Typo: "Rising Star"

Summary

This is a thorough article with only minor issues. Bear in mind I'm not Australian, so it's possible that I may have made errors through a lack of knowledge of the field.--Harper J. Cole (talk) 14:51, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Reply

I have done you suggestions, aside from suggestion 13, 14 and 16. I disagree that there should be a comma after conduct. With scores level is common phrasing in Australia (see [1], [2] and [3]). I also wikilinked spectacular mark instead of putting quotes. Steelkamp (talk) 16:31, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Looking good! I shall promote to GA status. Thanks for an interesting read,--Harper J. Cole (talk) 19:25, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]