Talk:2016 Irkutsk mass methanol poisoning/GA1
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Reviewer: QatarStarsLeague (talk · contribs) 17:43, 20 April 2017 (UTC)
I'll take this one. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 17:43, 20 April 2017 (UTC)
- Point one is that the lead needs to be expanded beyond its current length. It doesn't properly summarize the article; check the GA standards for leads. What is there is appropriate, it's just that the lead needs to be more substantial.
- The term surrogate alcohol doesn't need quotation marks, it is valid, accepted terminology.
- The inclusion of "See also: Alcohol consumption in Russia" above the "Cause" section doesn't seem to be entirely appropriate, the inclusion of the relevant facts from that article in this one is just fine.
- "...led the Associated Press to…" we can put a wikilink in for the AP.
- It might be a good idea to add some explanation on how the lotion is consumed as alcohol exactly (drunk straight from the bottle? distilled somehow?). Maybe thats why you have the "See also:" link; it's still a bester idea to just provide quick elucidation here.
- "...with one senior official for the greater Siberian region…" governmental official or lotion company official?
- The note on surrogate alcohol is not entirely necessary since you link to the article anyway.
- Good job with the article handling a tragic event, they can be hard to form together. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 00:31, 10 May 2017 (UTC)
- Hey QatarStarsLeague, I think these are all addressed. The only exception is the consumption point—they diluted the surrogate alcohol to roughly approximate the alcohol level in vodka. The sources don't directly say it's drank directly, I think that gives enough info? Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 18:01, 14 May 2017 (UTC)
- I believe so, good job with this one! QatarStarsLeague (talk) 01:52, 15 May 2017 (UTC)
- Hey QatarStarsLeague, I think these are all addressed. The only exception is the consumption point—they diluted the surrogate alcohol to roughly approximate the alcohol level in vodka. The sources don't directly say it's drank directly, I think that gives enough info? Ed [talk] [majestic titan] 18:01, 14 May 2017 (UTC)