Talk:2014 White House intrusion/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 15:03, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
I remember this happening. I'll finish this review very soon. JAGUAR 15:03, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- "when Omar J. Gonzalez, an Iraq War veteran" - does his name have to be in bold? Unless he's an actual part of the article (his bio being included), I don't see how this meets the criteria of MOS:BOLD
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "As a result of the incident and other security breaches at the White House, then Director of the Secret Service" - might be worth linking Director of the United States Secret Service here
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "He married Samantha Bell in 2006; they separated in 2010 and were divorced in July 2014" - I would put a however in between "2006" and "they", but it's up to you
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "Gonzalez was arrested for eluding police and possessing a sawed-off shotgun" - I don't want to sound naive, but how did he get arrested for carrying a sawed-off shotgun but not four handguns?
- Firearms including handguns typically aren't illegal in the US, however, sawing off the end of a shotgun is an illegal modification. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "he was tackled by an off-duty agent who was in the process of leaving for the night. He was arrested and taken to George Washington University Hospital after complaining of chest pains" - replace this with Gonzalez, as at first I thought this was referring to the agent who tackled him!
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "Gonzalez was ordered to be held without bond" - is this the same thing as being held without bail?
- I assume it would have to, but 'bond' is what the source says. It could be referring to a surety bond, and denying him the option of such a bond would effectively keep him in prison. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
References
[edit]On hold
[edit]Nice work on this article. It's well written, comprehensive, and the references all check out fine. I also found no issues with paraphrasing etc. Once all of the (minor) issues are clarified, this should be good to go. JAGUAR 18:18, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
- @Jaguar:. Thanks for the review. Let me know if I need to do anything else. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them! This should be good to go now. JAGUAR 12:15, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.