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Talk:2014 White House intrusion/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 15:03, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I remember this happening. I'll finish this review very soon. JAGUAR  15:03, 17 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

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  • "when Omar J. Gonzalez, an Iraq War veteran" - does his name have to be in bold? Unless he's an actual part of the article (his bio being included), I don't see how this meets the criteria of MOS:BOLD
  • "He married Samantha Bell in 2006; they separated in 2010 and were divorced in July 2014" - I would put a however in between "2006" and "they", but it's up to you
  • "Gonzalez was arrested for eluding police and possessing a sawed-off shotgun" - I don't want to sound naive, but how did he get arrested for carrying a sawed-off shotgun but not four handguns?
  • "he was tackled by an off-duty agent who was in the process of leaving for the night. He was arrested and taken to George Washington University Hospital after complaining of chest pains" - replace this with Gonzalez, as at first I thought this was referring to the agent who tackled him!
  • "Gonzalez was ordered to be held without bond" - is this the same thing as being held without bail?

References

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On hold

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Nice work on this article. It's well written, comprehensive, and the references all check out fine. I also found no issues with paraphrasing etc. Once all of the (minor) issues are clarified, this should be good to go. JAGUAR  18:18, 18 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar:. Thanks for the review. Let me know if I need to do anything else. Freikorp (talk) 05:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for addressing them! This should be good to go now. JAGUAR  12:15, 19 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.