Talk:2014 Spanish Grand Prix/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zwerg Nase (talk · contribs) 14:28, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will gladly review this :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:28, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Zwerg Nase: Almost ten days since the review was begun. What is the status of this review? MWright96 (talk) 09:03, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Sorry that this took longer than anticipated, I am starting the review process now. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:45, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Review

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

General things

There are two duplicate links: "pole position" in the qualifying classification and "championship points" in the race classification.
- Removed MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead & infobox

Official name of the race needs a source, either in the lead or in the infobox.
- Added a source in the infobox MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Background

I think "as part of the series" isn't very clear, I'd rephrase to "since the inception of the Formula One World Championship" or something along those lines.
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
You should probably add a footnote explaining the terms "prime" and "option"
- Have removed the terms instead MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and his teammate Rosberg the season-opening Australian Grand Prix and three more podium finishes." - would add "as well as achieving three more podium finishes"
- Removed instead MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Despite his recent performance Hamilton spoke of his belief that the momentum would shift between him and Rosberg on different tracks and sought to narrow the performance deficit" - would add a comma behind "performance" (first one) and in the second part of the sentence, clarify that you mean Hamilton sought, not the momentum
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
In both instances in this paragraph, I'd use ":" instead of a comma to introduce the direct quotations.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"to redirect airflow and increased its underfloor efficiency" - change to increase
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"while McLaren's MP4-29s had its rear bodywork" - their rear bodywork
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Practice

"Kevin Magnussen's McLaren" - change to "McLaren's Kevin Magnussen", otherwise, you are personifying the car
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"clout" is too informal for an encyclopedia
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"as trackside photographers took cover" - very trivial information
- Removed MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"The McLarens of Magnussen and Button Massa, Maldonado" - comma missing
- Added MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"was beached" - also too informal, I think you can only use that word on Wikipedia when speaking about a whale
- Changed MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"The team were fined €30,000" - was fined
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Magnussen, Ricciardo, Button, Maldonado, Vettel" - and Vettel
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"beached his Marussia" - see above
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Qualifying

"Cars who progressed to the final session were not allowed to change tyres for the race's start, using the tyres with which they set their quickest lap times in the second session." - you should clarify that they were however allowed to change them for Q3 before switching back
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"a set-up change put Bottas fourth" - and a set-up change allowed Bottas to go quicker and qualify in fourth place (or something similar)
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Grosjean extracted extra speed from his car to start fifth." - sounds a little journalistic... maybe "Grosjean performed well for Lotus, his fifth place being the team's best qualifying performance of the year"?
- Added he qualified fifth, but not the best of the year since it is not covered by the sources MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Hence, Hülkenberg began from tenth by changing his car's setup." - well, no, he began from tenth because he qualified eleventh and moved up a place...
- Rewritten MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"faster of the two Saubers" - faster of the two Sauber drivers
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and began from 14th." - and he had to start from 14th place
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Post-qualifying

What was the reason for Whiting's warning?
- Added MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Race

Infobox says weather was overcast, but race report says it was sunny. This should be consistent. You can put the more excessive weather info into the infobox as well.
- Fixed MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"A three-stop strategy was determined to be the optimal strategy but a two-stop strategy was theorised to give a driver better track position." - clarify who theorised these things
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"dirty air" - this term needs to be explained or described in other words
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"had to take it at his first pit stop" - maybe better "serve it"?
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"rear tyre degradation" --> "rear-tyre degradation"
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"that time round" --> this time around
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Upfront, Hamilton requested assistance to rectify an oversteer on his car and Mercedes suggested he close the car's differential in turns three and four." - I would scrap this sentence and the next, this is completely trivial information, no one reading would care about this. Also, nobody understands what differential even means. Instead, try to summarize it a bit ("Hamilton was struggling with first over- then understeer on his car" or something like that)
- Removed that information MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"clear air" - again, this term needs an explanation
"Alonso overtook Magnussen going into the first corner with DRS for ninth on lap 36 and Vettel got ahead of Massa to move into eighth on the following lap." - So Vettel was ninth before he passed Massa? But Alonso was ninth, according to the same sentence! Confusing! Then the next sentence, Massa is suddenly in 11th, moving up to tenth, were he just was? How did that happen?
- Fixed MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
This uncovers a general problem with this article: You use a live race report as your primary source, and cover every single detail in the source. But the source does not portray everything that happened. I would generally say: Cut some minor stuff. There is no need to cover all passes in the minor placings. It's just confusing to the reader and makes the race report harder to follow. And it creates weird instances like the ones I pointed out.
- Removed plenty of irrelevant information MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and asked for the gap and speed difference" - trivial, cut
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Alonso did the same in response for the medium compound tyres" - medium-compound tyres
- Done MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"forbidden higher-powered engine" - forbidden by whom?
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Post-race

" said his first victory in Spain "means everything to me" - use paraphrasing to avoid weird change in tense
- Reworded to something different MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I place this review on hold for now. Good work so far! Zwerg Nase (talk) 15:34, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Zwerg Nase: Have made changes to the article in accordance with the queries raised above. MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Sorry again for the delay, my computer kind of broke down. Gotta go through it tomorrow, but I feel positive that the article can be promoted then. Zwerg Nase (talk) 17:15, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: OK, went over it again, and I am quite satisfied. Made some minor corrections myself as well. There is just one more thing bothering me: In the race report, you describe the "forbidden engine mode". But then in the post-race section, this aspect is not picked up again. So was this a talking point after the race? If not, why was it important enough to include it in the race report? Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:46, 21 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Zwerg Nase: Have added the consequences of its use in the post-race section. MWright96 (talk) 15:01, 21 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Wonderful! I am gladly passing this for GA now! Zwerg Nase (talk) 11:09, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]