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GA Review

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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 20:04, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, GeorgeC. I'll be reviewing this. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 20:04, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Part 1: Lede to Debby

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  • "The 2012 Atlantic hurricane season was the third most active season, tied with 1887, 1995, 2010, and 2011." ---> "The 2012 Atlantic hurricane season was an extremely active season, tied with 1887, 1995, 2010, and 2011 for the third highest number of named storms on record"?
  • "The season began on June 1 and ended on November 30." - Officially?
  • The lede is excessively large. I know it was an impactful season, but as a general rule:
1st paragraph: Start date of first named storm, dissipation date of last. General records (ex. September 2011 featured the highest number of named storms in that particular month on record)(ex. Dean was the seventh most intense hurricane ever recorded.)
2nd paragraph: This is option; I include it because the Seasonal forecasts section is a part of the article like the Storm section. But, pre-season and mid-season forecasts for activity.
3rd paragraph: Very brief overview of how the impact during the season transpired, with a focus on the two most damaging and deadly storms (Isaac and Sandy).
  • I'm still not sure about including pre-season and mid-season forecasts to the lede. However, I did shorten and adjust the lede to include more info on records set/broken by putting less emphasis on the un-important storms.--12george1 (talk) 01:14, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • In Note 2, it should state -- and link -- to "Saffir–Simpson hurricane wind scale".
  • In all NHC products, whether it's a TWO or tropical cyclone report, the work is not NHC. That field isn't typically used anyways, so just remove it. The publisher is not NOAA, it should be NHC.
  • " They will, however, release a quantitative forecast for 2012 in April." - Not needed anymore unless you generalize it and not make it just for 2012.
  • The "predictions of tropical activity in the 2012 season" needs formatting for the new style...see 2013's page.
  • The timeline image needs formatting for WP:ACCESS. (ex. (TD), (TS), (C1), (C2), (C3), (C4), (C5) after each storm name). Additionally, the SSHWS was modified for the 2012 season. It's under "Wind Scale" on the left side of the NHC website.
  • "On May 18, a non-tropical area of low pressure formed from a stationary front offshore of the Carolinas, becoming stationary just offshore of South Carolina while producing organized convective activity over the next day." - The usage of "offshore of" is repetitive.
  • "It quickly gained tropical characteristics over the warm SST's of the Gulf Stream, and by 1200 UTC on May 19, the system became Tropical Storm Alberto." - SSTs isn't possessive. No need for the apostrophe.
  • "It first named storm to form during May in the Atlantic basin since Arthur in 2008, and the earliest tropical storm since Ana in April 2003." - Missing a word.
  • "Combined with Aletta in the Eastern Pacific, this was the first occurrence where tropical cyclones reached tropical storm status in both the Atlantic and Eastern Pacific basins (east of the 140°W) before the official start date of their respective hurricane seasons." ---> "Combined with Aletta, this was the first such occurrence where more than one tropical cyclone in both the Atlantic and East Pacific – located west of 140°W – attained tropical storm intensity prior to the start of their respective hurricane seasons.
  • "Early on May 22, Alberto degenerated into a remnant area of low pressure, after failing to maintain convection." - No comma.\
  • "The storm slowly acquired tropical characteristics as it tracked across warmer SST's and within an environment of decreasing vertical wind shear." - SSTs isn't possessive.
  • "The precursor to Beryl produced heavy rainfall in Cuba, causing flooding and mudslides, which damaged or destroyed 1,156 homes and resulted in two deaths." - No comma after mudslides.
  • No mention of Beryl's record?
  • "On June 17, a low pressure area cot-off from a stationary frontal boundary near Bermuda." - Cot? Shouldn't be a hyphen when this is corrected.
  • "After deep convection became persistent, the National Hurricane Center was reclassified as Tropical Storm Chris on June 19. Despite being over SST's of 72°F (22°C), it strengthened into a hurricane on June 21." - Saying it became persistent is strange. SSTs isn't possessive.
  • "After encountering colder SST's, it weakened back to a tropical storm on June 22." - SSTs isn't possessive.
  • "The precursor of Chris produced several days of rainfall in Bermuda from June 14 to 17, totaling 3.41 in (87 mm)" - What city/airport?
  • "On June 15, the system produced heavy precipitation peaking at 2.59 in (66 mm), a daily record" - Comma after precipitation, add the city/airport after the amount.
  • " The storm steadily strengthened, and at 1800 UTC on June 25, Debby attained its peak intensity with maximum sustained winds of 65 mph (100 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 990 mbar (29 inHg)." - You already stated a subject, so take out "Debby".
  • "Debby continued to weaken while crossing Florida, and dissipated shortly after emerging into the Atlantic on June 27." - No comma.
  • "In Central and South Florida, damage was primarily caused by tornadoes, one of which caused a fatality." - Mention the importance of this fatality. It was a record.
  • Nevermind. Thinking of the wrong tornado. Debby produced the last deadly tornado until January 30, but that's not important. (I was thinking about the Adairsville tornado on Janurary 30, the first deadly tornado since Debby's.) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 23:26, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Part 2: Ernesto to Leslie

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  • " Wind shear initially caused the depression to remain weak and disorganized, though by August 2, it was upgraded to Tropical Storm Ernesto." - Why is wind shear linked on, like, its 1000th instance?
  • "The next day, Ernesto moved near Barbados and Saint Lucia." - What's the significant of this sentence...I'm not understanding? Did the cyclone enter the Caribbean between these two?
  • "As the storm approached the western Caribbean on August 5, wind shear and dry air briefly halted strengthening; deep convection diminished and Ernesto had a ragged appearance. " - Elaborate on ragged appearance. And how could you tell?
  • "Nonetheless, it regained deep convection and became a hurricane on August 6." - You should mention the fact that it became a hurricane due to a decrease in wind shear, increased moisture in the environment, and reduction in trade winds.
  • "Early on August 8, Ernesto made landfall in Costa Maya, Quintana Roo with winds of 100 mph (160 km/h)." - Before this sentence, mention its upgrade to Cat 2 intensity..overland.
  • "The remnants later contributed to the development of Tropical Storm Hector in the Eastern Pacific." - East Pacific or eastern Pacific. Not Eastern Pacific.
  • "There was no significant impact in the Lesser Antilles, other than light rainfall and gusty winds on islands such as Barbados, Martinique, and Puerto Rico." --> "Despite light rainfall and gusty winds on islands such as Barbados, Martinique, and Puerto Rico, impact from Ernesto in the Lesser Antilles was negligible."
  • " In Mexico, officials reported that 85,000 people in Majahual lost power and roads were damaged elsewhere in Quintana Roo." Anyway to reword?
  • "Located in a region of warm SSTs of 79–81 °F (26–27 °C), a low pressure area developed and became increasingly better defined as it drifted west-northwest." - Sea surface temperatures mean nothing if wind shear is unfavorable. Be sure to note a favorable wind shear environment.
  • "Due to moderate easterly wind shear, the depression only slowly organized, intensifying into Tropical Storm Florence at 0600 UTC the following day." --> "After formation, a subsequent increase in wind shear led to slow organization; despite this, the depression intensified into Tropical Storm Florence at 0600 UTC the following day."
  • "A central dense overcast pattern and prominent spiral banding developed later on August 4, indicating that the storm was strengthening. " - Link both CDO and spiral banding.
  • "However, weakening soon ensued as dry air caused diminished the coverage and intensity of convection." - Bad sentence.
  • "A tropical wave crossed the west coast of Africa on August 5." - Nothing on the characteristics of the wave? Poorly defined? Lacking convective activity?
  • "It fluctuated in convective organization over the next four days." - Due to what?
  • "Late on August 9, National Hurricane Center initiated advisories on Tropical Depression Seven, while located about midway between Cape Verde and the Lesser Antilles." - Missing "the" before NHC.
  • "Possibly due to rapid forward speed and southwesterly wind shear, the depression began disorganizing." - Original research? Big no no.
  • Actually in Helene's TCR, it says, "Tropical Depression Seven continued moving rapidly westward, losing organization, likely the result of strong southwesterly wind shear that prevailed over the eastern Caribbean Sea..." I guess we we're both wrong.--12george1 (talk) 03:37, 6 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " A Hurricane Hunters flight failed to location a closed circulation on August 10. Thus, the depression degenerated into an open tropical wave." - You're producing a lot of short sentences throughout this article. Try to combine a few.
  • "The remnants of the system moved over the Bay of Campeche and began reorganizing." --> "Despite earlier predictions, the remnants of the storm moved over the Bay of Campeche and began to consolidate [on August XX]."
  • " A Hurricane Hunter aircraft into the system indicated that it regenerated into Tropical Depression Seven at 1200 UTC on August 17. Six hours later, it strengthened into Tropical Storm Helene." - One instance of sentences that need to be combined.
  • "The remnant tropical wave produced heavy rainfall in Trinidad and Tobago, causing flooding and mudslides in Diego Martin on island of Trinidad." - I was confused when I first read this...it needs a transition, such as "As a tropical cyclone," or something along those lines.
  • Well, it wasn't a TC at that time. Maybe I could re-organize and shove this into the first paragraph (which will also separate it from Mexico)? Anyway, I fixed it to show you my idea.--12george1 (talk) 03:37, 6 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In Mexico, Helene brought moderate rains to areas previously affected by Hurricane Ernesto, though no rivers reached flood stage." - Did this lead to flooding? If not --> "In Mexico, Helene produced moderate rainfall over areas previously affected by Hurricane Ernesto, though no major flooding was reported." No need to mention what didn't occur (speaking about the rivers).
  • "As a result, tropical cyclogenesis had been impeded and convective activity remained minimal." - Don't use passive voice like "had been".
  • "The depression strengthened and approximately twelve hours later, it became Tropical Storm Gordon." - Comma after strengthened, get rid of "it".
  • "The storm peaked as a strong Category 2 hurricane with winds of 110 mph (175 km/h) on the following day, before beginning to weaken." - Why did it weaken?
  • "At 0530 UTC August 20, Gordon struck Santa Maria Island in the Azores, about six and a half hours became weakening to a tropical storm." - ...what?
  • "Several homes had broken doors and windows and streets were covered with fallen trees." - "had" to "sustained", comma after "windows".
  • "The depression headed just north of due west and twelve hours later, it strengthened into Tropical Storm Isaac." - No "it".
  • "After intensifying somewhat further, Isaac passed through the Leeward Islands on August 22" - Bad sentence.
  • "A few islands, reported tropical storm force winds and light rainfall, but no impact occurred." - Rain and wind is impact. Reword this sentence.
  • "Unfavorable conditions and a reformation of the center caused Isaac to remain disorganized in the eastern Caribbean Sea." - What kind of unfavorable conditions?
  • "Strong winds and heavy rain impacted numerous camps set up after the 2010 Haiti earthquake, which about 6,000 people losing shelter. " - "which"?
  • "Additionally, 1,000 houses were destroyed. The storm resulted in at least 24 deaths and $8 million in damage." - Reword and combine.
  • "In neighboring Dominican Republic, 864 houses were damaged and crop losses reached about $30 million and there were 5 deaths." --> "In neighboring Dominican Republic, 864 houses were damaged and cross loses reached approximately $30 million; five deaths were reported."
  • "Isaac became slightly disorganized over Haiti and re-emerged into the Caribbean Sea later on August 25, hours before striking Guantánamo Province, Cuba. " - What were the winds at landfall?
  • "There, 6 homes were destroyed and 91 sustained impact to some degree." - No need to be so verbose. "Impact to some degree" --> "damage".
  • "Later on August 25, Isaac emerged into the southwestern Atlantic Ocean." - The southwestern Atlantic Ocean makes up a large area...be more specific.
  • "Whole neighborhoods in The Acreage, Loxahatchee, Royal Palm Beach, and Wellington were left stranded for up to several days." - No need for "whole".
  • "Isaac then made two landfalls in Louisiana early on August 29." - Be more specific. Where? At what intensity?
  • "The New Orleans area was relatively unscathed, due to levees built after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in 2005." - Un-capitalize "Hurricanes" and only wikilink Katrina.
  • "Late on August 21, a well-defined surface low developed within the tropical wave, though the associated deep convection was not sufficiently organized at the time." - The low pressure didn't develop in the wave; change to "in association with the tropical wave".
  • "However, by 0600 UTC on August 22, the system acquired enough organization to be designated Tropical Depression Ten, while located about 690 miles (1,110 km) west-southwest of the Cape Verde." - Cape Verde Islands.
  • "The depression was steered toward the west-northwest along the southern periphery of a deep-layer subtropical ridge." - Layman: what the heck is a deep-layer subtropical ridge?
  • "A tropical wave emerged into the Atlantic from the coast of Africa on August 22 accompanied by a broad area of low pressure." - Comma after August 22.
  • "However, little additional development occurred during the next three days as the circulation of the low was elongated and poorly-defined. " - Convection didn't not organize because of the elongated circulation. It was a result of an unfavorable environment.
  • "Additionally, a better-defined circulation formed, indicated that Tropical Depression Eleven developed at 1800 UTC on August 28, while located about 1,290 miles (2,080 km) southwest of the western Azores." - The old circulation didn't dissipate as is suggested by the use of "formed", it just simply consolidated. Be sure to change that.
  • "The depression initially moved westward, before turning northwestward on August 29 in response to a weakness in the subtropical ridge. " - No comma.
  • No mention of the predictions for it to remain very weak and disorganized initially?
  • "Thereafter, a blocking pattern over Atlantic Canada caused Leslie to drift for four days" - Drift where?
  • "Late on September 5, Leslie was upgraded to a Category 1 hurricane, shortly before peaking with winds of 80 mph (130 km/h)." - Don't use passive voice.

I'll get to the last part of the article when the above comments are addressed. I think I'll have either Hink, JC, or Auree look over the article after my last review portion; honestly, this article is probably not well-written enough to be considered a good article. I'm not sure if it's a quick fix or not either, which is why I'll get a second person to look over it. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 23:29, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Part 3 (Final): Michael to References

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  • "A shortwave disturbance spawned a well-defined low pressure area on September 2." - If there's any storm you need to go in-depth about, it's Michael considering its complicated -- and interesting -- beginning. Where was it spawned? Also, what's a shortwave disturbance?
  • "Wind shear began to abate as the depression moved westward and then northwestward. Thus, the depression was able to strengthen into Tropical Storm Michael at 0600 UTC on September 4, while located about 1,235 miles (1,990 km) southwest of the Azores." - Similar to Kirk, mention the forecast for the storm to weaken/dissipate in the short term. "Was able to" is a bit weird as well when remembering that countless storms have intensified into tropical storms in the fact of wind shear. Current wording suggests its only in a favorable environment that that could occur.
  • Use variation in your wording. "Michael" did this, "Michael" did that. How about "the storm", "the cyclone", "the system", etc. Try to combine a few sentences with transitions as well...the reading is very choppy since a period represents a full stop.
  • " Initially, it moved west-northwest and strengthened into Tropical Storm Nadine early on September 12." --> "Initially, it moved west-northwest, intensifying into Tropical Storm Nadine early on September 12."
  • "After strengthening and further consolidation of deep convection, the depression was upgraded to Tropical Storm Oscar later on October 3." - No need for "after strengthening and". --> "After further consolidation of convection near its low-level center, the depression was upgraded to Tropical Storm Oscar later on October 3."
  • "Although strong shear began exposing the low-level center of circulation to the west of deep convection, Oscar continued to intensify. In contrast, to the east of the center, convection deepened." - How is that in contrast when you state it strengthened anyways? Deeper convection is not a contrast of intensification.
  • "Six hours later, ASCAT Scatterometer and satellite data indicates that Oscar degenerated into a trough, which was absorbed by the cold front early on October 6." - Indicated.
  • "Later that day, strengthening low-level northeasterly winds increased vertical wind shear, causing the storm to weaken." - The winds were the wind shear. This doesn't make any sense.
  • "On the latter, the system was classified as Tropical Storm Rafael at 1800 UTC, while located about 200 miles (320 km) south-southeast of St. Croix." - Instead of the funky wording ("on the latter"), let's just state when it was upgraded and why.
  • "Large swells from the system caused significant damage to the coastline of Nova Scotia, while many roads were washed away or obscured with debris, but overall, damage was minimal, reaching about $2 million." - Split the two sentences.
  • " Initially, the storm headed southwestward, but re-curved to the north-northeast after becoming a tropical storm." - Why?
  • "A gradual increase in organizing and deepening occurred, with Sandy becoming a hurricane on October 24." - Increase in organizing?
  • "After clearing Jamaica, Sandy began to significantly strengthen." - I'd switch "significantly" and "strengthen".
  • "At 0525 UTC on October 25, it struck near Santiago de Cuba in Cuba with winds of 115 mph (185 km/h), making Sandy the second major hurricane of the season." - Comma after the second instance of Cuba; insert semicolon in place for comma after the parenthesis and change "making to 'this made'".
  • "In Florida, storm surges left moderate coastal flooding." - Surges?
  • "The outerbands of Sandy also impacted the island of Bermuda. A tornado spawned in Sandys Parish damaged a few homes and businesses. - Combine.
  • "However, at 2100 UTC, Sandy transitioned into an extratropical cyclone, while located just offshore New Jersey." - Why is it however?
  • "The hardest hit areas were New Dorp Beach in Staten Island followed by Red Hook in Brooklyn and Long Island City and the Rockaways in Queens." - Comma after Island.
  • "Overall, 147 fatalities were attributed to Sandy." - No, overall, Sandy killed 285.
  • "The damage toll was between $53.28 billion and $74.7 billion, with losses in the United States ranging from $50 billion to $71.4 billion." - Damage toll?
  • "After acquiring more deep convection, the system was reclassified as Tropical Depression Nineteen at 1800 UTC on October 22." - "more deep" --> "deeper"? Reclassified?
  • "Although wind shear was not very strong, the depression initially failed to strengthen due to disorganization." - This sentence makes no sense. Because it was disorganized it didn't strengthen? Nonsense.
  • "Nonetheless, the depression organized further and intensified into Tropical Storm Tony at 0000 UTC on October 24." - Due to what? Check NHC operational advisories maybe.
  • Cannot find an explanation in either the Tropical Cyclone Report or discussions. In fact, the TCR says "Although the shear was not very strong, the system failed to strengthen until around 0000 UTC 24 October ... the cyclone becoming a tropical storm." So it wasn't like an anticyclone or some baroclinic effect, as it failed to strengthen despite not very strong wind shear.--12george1 (talk) 18:31, 10 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Tony strengthened further, and by 1200 UTC on October 24, the storm attained its peak intensity with maximum sustained winds of 50 mph (85 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 1,000 mbar (30 inHg)." - The subject in the sentence is already stated ("Tony"), so remove "the storm" after the comma.
  • "The storm maintained this intensity for about 24 hours, while moving east-northeastward and accelerating." - No comma.
  • "On October 25, Tony began to weaken, due to a combination of increasing vertical wind shear and decreasing SSTs." - No comma after "weaken".
  • I'd prefer all the distances to be rounded to the nearest five. Also, I wouldn't recommend using the {{convert}} template for pressures, just personal preference.
  • Reference 53..it's dead, Jim -- I mean George.

That's all I see for now. I'll get another editor within the project to review this and/or copy-edit it. It's a decent article, but probably not GA quality quite yet. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 22:32, 8 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Alright. A total of 10 days (11 days, UTC) and 22,000 bytes+ later, I'm going to pass this article now. You've done an excellent job of addressing the mountain of comments I brought up here, and the article has been copy edited by another member of the project. It now meets the criteria of a good article. Now I am supposed to recommend you to review an article yourself. :P TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 02:34, 11 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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