Talk:2009 ICF Canoe Sprint World Championships/GA1

GA Review

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I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 17:26, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Lots of parts that make no sense and sections that jump about in time

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

   I was left wondering about a few subject, which are detailed below. Also, some subjects had too much detail.

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Specific concerns

• References - a LARGE number of references are lacking publishers (mostly the "results" but some others). These are required for WP:V. - Fixed yesterday. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC) Second set of references found for results today. Chris (talk) 18:54, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
• Per WP:LEAD, information in the lead is just a repeat of information in the body of the article. There are large chunks of the lead that are not in the body of the article. Everything in the lead should be in the body of the article also. - Lead article adjusted per WP specs and per request. Chris (talk) 19:34, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
• Prose - there are lots of short one and two sentence paragraphs, that makes it difficult to read the article. Suggest combing some into more lengthy easier to read paragraphs and/or sections. For example, the "information availability" and "Media coverage" sections could be combined into one section on "Coverage". - Fixed yesterday. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
• There is some information that is probably too MUCH detail, for example the accomadations is probably not needed to say which hotel each type of official stayed at. - Removed accomodations section entirely yesterday. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
• I'm not sure what the "visits and local meetings" has to do with the whole subject. - Changed to "official meetings sections yesterday. Forgot to put this in earlier today. Sorry about that. Chris (talk) 17:46, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
• This brings up a concern with the organization of the article, it's got too many section. Suggest reorganizing as "Preliminaries to the event". with the information on format changes, sponsorships, and pre-event meetings, one on "Facilities" which would includ the facility changes and accomodations, "Media" which would cover all the media and information, "Schedule" which would give the event schedules, "Results" which could give all the results, including the prose information from the lead on which countries won how many awards and stuff, and an "Aftermath" section with athlete comments, and the "paddleability's future" stuff. Right now there is no real chronological framework to anything and it's all jumbled together. - Reorgnization in progress. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC). Finalized information and adjusted. Chris (talk) 17:10, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
• Need to use {{convert}} to give imperial unit equivalents. - Done for non-event distances. Verifying with reviewer for events. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC) Clarified on 11 October 2009. Chris (talk) 21:06, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
• Jargon - I have NO clue what "women's K-4 1000 m" and all the other types of races in the format changes section can mean. - Event explanantion section added. Chris (talk) 17:45, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
• We no longer favour linking single years. They should be removed. - Championship years were piped in, but have been adjusted as requested. Chris (talk) 17:48, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
• Make sure you're consistent in using day-month-year format for dates, there are some that are month-day-year. I'm assuming you wanted the day-month-year as that is the most often used. - Fixed yesterday. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
• Specific prose concerns:
  • "Paddle ability" or "Paddleability"? You use both. - It's the latter and is is fixed. Chris (talk) 17:15, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "In an 10 August 2009 press release, the staging area took place at Birch Cove Park in Halifax. 987 from 66 countries competed at the championships with an estimated 100,000 spectators." Huh? Totally do not understand what this is trying to convey. Do you mean "According to a 10 August 2009 press release, the staging area was at Birch Cove Park in Halifax. 987 canoists from 66 countries competed at the championships with an estimated 100,000 spectators." Chris (talk) 17:15, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "A new way results were transmitted for free will be through a mobile web application named ZAP result." Do you mean "Results were transmitted for free with a mobile web application named ZAP result." - Done. Chris (talk) 17:21, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • Trivia is the mention of the developer of the widget, it's not needed. - Removed Friday. Forgot to put in. Sorry about that. Chris (talk) 17:10, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "The Atlantic Lottery Corporation presented the "Women in Canoe" program that will include 21 female canoers from 12 different countries." mixed verb tenses here. Should be (assuming that the event was one time) "that included" - Done yesterday. Forgot to put it in. Sorry about that. Chris (talk) 17:21, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "... silver sponsors of The Chronicle Herald of Halifax..." remove the "of" to make the flow better. - changed "of" to "were" to ensure better consistency within the sentence. Chris (talk) 17:21, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "Medals were presented according to Nova Scotia culture with the gold medalists having theirs presented in Mi'kmaq baskets, silver medalists in traditional European baskets, and bronze medalists in traditional African Nova Scotian baskets." HUH? "according to Nova Scotia culture" makes no sense. And traditional African Nova Scotian baskets is a serious "huh" moment that needs more explanation of how that occurs. - Cleaned up sentence followed with explanation of Nova Scotia history regarding why the baskets were part of Nova Scotia' history. Chris (talk) 18:08, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "Championship information was also followed on Twitter." I think you mean "Championship information was also available on Twitter." - Fixed. Chris (talk) 17:21, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "Australia's Wallace commented that he was upset at the ICF's decision over replacing the men's 500 m events at the Summer Olympics and replacing them with 200 m event for the upcoming Summer Olympics in London." Again, I am not sure what is trying to be said here. The "over replacing" is the confusing bit, I think. - Sentence clarified to eliminate the confusion. Chris (talk) 18:13, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • "Edwards stated that the efforts for paddleability's are two fold." Huh? - "success" inserted between "paddleability's" and "are". Chris (talk) 18:18, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
  • Paddleability's future section, the last two sentences don't seem connected with the rest of the paragraph, needs context to make it make sense. - second to last sentence cleared up in an effort to follow Edward's comments. Chris (talk) 18:18, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
• Bit of information that I was left wondering:
  • How many hours of programing did each TV channel provide? A complete schedule of events would not go amiss, with which day each event occurred on. A breakdown of how many male and female contestants? How many from each country? Who had the most entrants? Who sent the least? Did any countries send teams for the first time? When was the event awarded to Nova Scotia? Did any politicians attend the opening ceremonies? - Event award added. Trying to find other information. Chris (talk) 17:45, 10 October 2009 (UTC); TV programming, number of competitors and nations added. Have not found any information on local politicians yet, but will keep looking. Chris (talk) 22:17, 10 October 2009 (UTC) Could not find any information regarding local politicians though the Canadian Sports Minister did attend the opening ceremonies. Chris (talk) 17:15, 11 October 2009 (UTC). Sport Canada Minister did attend if you count him as a politician though I could not find anyone from the province of Nova Scotia or from the Halifax Regional Municipality. Chris (talk) 18:18, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 18:00, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Okay, we'll drop the issue of the conversions, that's fine. Right now, though, the lead is TOO big. A good general rule is that one sentence in the lead for each big paragraph in the body of the article. You want general important information, it's the introduction to the article. See WP:LEAD for help. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:42, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

Lead adjusted per request. Chris (talk) 21:16, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

I've pruned on the lead some more, it really needs just the barest highlights with very few details. The only problem now is that the references still have large numbers lacking publishers. Current refs 26, 37, 39, 40, and 42 through 73 lack a publisher listed, which is required by WP:V. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:28, 12 October 2009 (UTC) - Publisher added to missing references per requested. Adjusted last sentence in lead since paddleability is for the Paralympic Games rather than the Olympics. Chris (talk) 20:35, 12 October 2009 (UTC)