Talk:2008 Astana season/GA1

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
This article will be on hold for a period of 7 days. Please try and fix the problems listed below. JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 00:42, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article issues

Clarify - but did not obtain a meaningful result in any of them - What's a meaningful result? Maybe a podium finish would be more appropriate wording?

True, it is poorly defined. It just means that they didn't get a stage win, classification (jersey) win, or finish on the final podium. It seemed wordy to say all of that. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Grammar - In April, the team got found great success in the Vuelta al País Vasco - Doesn't make sense.

Vestige of revising the sentence during composition or when further information is later found. These are sometimes hard for me to find myself. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Clarify - The team sent squads to the Tour de Pologne, Tour de l'Ain, Tour of Ireland, and the Eneco Tour, but did not obtain a meaningful result in any of them. - See above. Done

Right, any suggestion? Should I include that whole sentence? Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps just change meaningful result to podium finish? JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 08:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The wording you just edited in is good. JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 08:53, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Pedantic grammar - Six days before the race began, RCS Sport (the organizers of the Giro) reversed themselves and invited Astana - Is there a better way to word this? Reading it, it just sounds a little weird.

Any suggestion? Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know, reversed themselves to maybe changed their decision? Or something similar. It could quite well be very good English and my grasp of the language might be poor :P. If you think it's fine, I can't see a too bigger problem. JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 08:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well, "reversed themselves" is a (fairly) common English phrase, but I'm not married to it if it seems to bring down the quality of the prose. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 09:11, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Revised to Six days before the race began, RCS Sport (the organizers of the Giro) went back on the decision to exclude Astana and extended them a late invitation.

NPOV - The finale to the Giro was anything but competitive, as Riccò was 68th on the stage, losing close to two minutes to Contador and his solid, consistent 11th place ride. - The sentence doesn't have a direct citation, therefore I believe it must be the next line, which doesn't state anything about the race being anything but competitive. Try and avoid peacock words like 'solid, consistent' if it is not stated in a reference.

I guess I'll revise, but the truth is, by those facts, that the Giro's final stage indeed was not competitive for the purposes of the final pink jersey. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Revised to Riccò was unable to challenge Contador in the Giro's finale, finishing 68th on the stage and losing close to two minutes to Contador, who was 11th.

Abbreviations - Following several stages won by sprinters and breakaways, the next test for the GC riders When abbreviating a word, introduce that word with the abbreviations in brackets first. For example Brisbane Boys College (BBC) was created in 1994. Some famous BBC students are John Smith. etc. Done

Good catch, accessibility and such. If it's not spelled out more fully earlier in the text (I honestly don't remember, and I don't have the article up right now), this should say something like ...test for riders aiming for high places in the General classification (GC) Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok cool, fixed it for you. JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 08:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Citation - On June 26, the team fired Vladimir Gusev for "irregular values" when quoting, direct citation is needed. It sucks, but is part of WP:CITE.

Well, words to that effect were certainly used by the team at the time. I'll try to find the exact words. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Actually, the use of "irregular values" is present in the citation at the end of the paragraph, but I added another for good measure, along with a little reword and a citation for Dr. Damsgaard. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 00:33, 16 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Contractions - I've fixed this, but in future, avoid contractions such as couldn't as per MOS WP:CONTRACTION. Done

Ehh, this is something I have a hard time catching, as I don't get hung up on it (see! I don't "do not get hung up on it"). I'll try, though.

Thanks for the comments, now to revise the article. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:50, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article summary

Lead

Fine

One-day races

Needs clarification on some wording
- Such as? Is it just the "meaningful result" thing? I've revised this a little already, not sure if it's what you're looking for. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 09:09, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Stage races

Grammar and NPOV need fixing
- NPOV, really? That surprises me a little. I don't particularly even like this team (aside from supporting Leipheimer and Armstrong as much as any American cycling fan does by default), so I'm curious as to where I was too positive. I don't think I could have been too negative, as the article definitely focuses more on positive results than negative, but that's just a function of what's written about and what's not. Aside from colossal disappointments, like Carlos Sastre in this year's Tour de France (which made me a saaaaad panda), negative results usually aren't written about. And the fact is, especially in a three week Grand Tour but even in shorter stage races, chances are a team will win something.
Sentencing need grammar checks

I think the grammar has been checked now, I could not find grammar mistakes (although that does not mean anything...) --EdgeNavidad (talk) 11:59, 19 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Grand tours

Abbreviations need clarifying

I believe they have been clarified.--EdgeNavidad (talk) 11:49, 19 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Away from competition

Direct quote needs citation

Alex has added citations.--EdgeNavidad (talk) 11:59, 19 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Season victories quick reference

Perhaps this can just be shortened to a section heading of Season victories?
- Here's the thing - I'm not wild about this section at all. I can kinda see its merits, but by the time I get to writing an article about Team Columbia–HTC for this season, this section is going to be draaaaaaaag city, because they've had close to 80 stage victories this year. It also shouldn't give any information that isn't also present in the article prose. So is the section's title the only issue you have with it? I really pulled it out of thin air after User:Severo added one to 2009 Astana season, which I actually wrote first but obviously can't be a GA just yet (2009 season isn't over), but Severo didn't put a section header on it.

I can't see any problem with the extra content, it's up to you whether you keep it or not for the future. JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 12:31, 16 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

References

Fine

Images

Captions could be more creative. See WP:CAP
- Any suggestions? Not sure what else to say on the Leipheimer, Contador, and Gusev images. I guess the Armstrong image could include a where/when. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 09:09, 15 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If there are any questions or comments on the review, please post them on this page. JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 00:42, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for inactivity, this article looks good to go now! Thank you for your patience =] JRA_Westy Qld2 ^Talk 08:06, 20 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]