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Talk:2008 American League Central tie-breaker game/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: KV5 (TalkPhils) 16:10, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK, Stax, if you really want me to, here I go. KV5 (TalkPhils) 16:10, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from KV5

[edit]
  • "won the game 1–0" - commas around the score (, 1–0,)
  • "lowest scoring gam" - lowest-scoring
  • comma after ALDS
  • move "3 games to 1" to the end of the sentence, and precede with a comma; also MOS:NUM (three and one)
  • "In baseball statistics" - comma after
  • "start of the season" - comma after
  • "the top two finishers" - clarify, the division's top two finishers
  • "the previous season" - in the previous season
  • "last on May 17th" - MOS:DATE, May 17 (occurs twice)
  • "a share of the league" - I think you meant a share of the lead
  • "The Twins spent much of the season second to the White Sox" - reads a bit awkwardly, suggest re-word The Twins spent much of the season in second place behind the White Sox, and comma after
  • "Despite going 11–15 in September" - comma after
  • "September 25th" - MOS:DATE
  • "which capped" - that capped
  • "September 29th" - MOS:DATE (occurs twice)
  • "won, 8–2" - comma after
  • "Fans were encourage" - encouraged
  • "as their starter" - starting pitcher, link it, and comma after
  • "top of the 5th" - fifth
  • "Danks then induced"
  • comma after "Delmon Young"
  • "Brendan Harris then hit"
  • Remove double period ("Griffey, Jr..")
  • "7th inning" - seventh
  • "to ground out" - comma after
  • "but then allowed a double"
  • Where does A-Ram figure into this? He's played his whole career for the Bucs and Cubbies.
  • Check your diacritics; there are some plain links redirecting to names of Latin players with accented letters (Mijares, Ramirez, etc).
  • "in the 9th" - ninth
  • "White Sox" - this is possessive ("White Sox'")
  • "Danks drew praise for his performance in the game." - ref?
  • "Twins' batters" - rm apostrophe
  • "Michael Cuddyer" - can remove his first name after first mention
  • "22–40" - should be 22-for-40 or, better yet, something written out for non-baseball readers, like Twins batters Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, and Cuddyer had a combined 22 hits in 20 at bats
  • "against John Danks" - rm first name
  • "for their career" - careers, multiple subjects; comma after
  • "With the victory" - comma after
  • "pennant winning" - pennant-winning
  • comma after "Rays"
  • comma after "Statistically"
  • "4th most" - fourth-most
  • rm first names in "Legacy" section from Danks, Mauer, Morneau
  • "3.32 in the game" - comma after

That should do it. On hold. KV5 (TalkPhils) 16:32, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]