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Talk:1995–96 South Pacific cyclone season/GA1

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Reviewer: ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:09, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • First thing, you should mention how, per the JTWC, that because of the La Nina, tropical cyclone activity was shifted westward, which accounted for the diminished activity in the basin. That is the biggest thing missing, the "why" the season activity was so minimal. Broader meteorological conditions (such as in the callaghan ref) would be great for the season summary
  • Could you just point out to me what ref and on what page that says this season was the least active? BTW, the article is internally inconsistent, as you say it was the least active in the lede, but just "one of the most inactive seasons" in the season summary
  • "The season ran from November 1, 1995 until April 30, 1996 though the first tropical cyclone of the season did not develop until January 12 before the last dissipated on April 2." - you're trying to fit too much in there. First, just say the season (and you should get a source for the season dates, even if it's just a modern source that indicates the duration of the SPAC season). Second, you shouldn't just [d]o a clean split in the sentence, as the latter portion is somewhat grammatically awkward.
  • "4.6 and 5.6 million united states dollars" - is there a stylistic reason you didn't do "$4.6–5.6 million (USD)"?
  • You're inconsistent with the lat/lon markings. You say "25S" but "160º", and you also say just "180º" when saying "International Date Line" would probably be better
  • "On February 22 and 23, a shallow tropical depression that was moving around the Fijian archipelago, caused some flooding of low lying areas in Vanua Levu." - that's technically not a complete sentence. Try rewording
  • In the Beti portion of the season summary, you use the phrase "before it [verb]" in two consecutive sentences. Could you re-arrange for better flow?
  • 1"However RSMC Nadi did not name it as Yasi for another 12 hours, as the system reached its peak 10-minute sustained windspeeds of 85 km/h (50 mph)." - when you say "as", do you mean "until", "while", "because"? This also happens with
  • 2"During January 18, the NPMOC issued their final warning as Yasi had become an extratropical cyclone"
  • 3"RSMC Nadi then issued their final advisory at 0600 UTC, as Zaka had weakened into a tropical depression and was moving into TCWC Wellingtons area of responsibility"
  • "After it was named, Yasi accelerated towards the southeast, before moving out of RSMC Nadi's area of responsibility during the next day" - there is no date in the previous sentence, so you should clarify the exact date
  • "During that day an upper level trough moved over New Zealand which brought the jet stream over New Caledonia, which in turn made the depression hard to locate with satellite imagery." - try rewording. You use "which" twice
  • "However later that day despite the system being poorly organized, RSMC Nadi reported that based on observations from Matthew island, the depression had intensified into a tropical cyclone and named it as Zaka" - that's a pretty disorganized sentence
  • "before on March 11" - :/
  • How close was Atu to Zaka? You mention them developing contemporaneously
  • "moved southeast towards 160°E and the South Pacific basin.[11] The system then crossed 160°E and moved into the basin" - that's sort of redundant. Try re-organizing
  • "before during the next day" - eww
  • "During March 11, the depression developed further as it moved towards the southeast before at 1800 UTC, RSMC Nadi reported that the depression had intensified into a tropical cyclone and named it as Atu" - try re-organizing. I'm not sure what you're doing, but you have a lot of awkward phrasing ("before at"?).
  • "The JTWC then reported at 0000 UTC on March 12 that Atu had reached its peak 1-minute windspeeds of 100 km/h (65 mph), before 9 hours later RSMC Nadi reported that Atu had reached its peak 10-minute sustained windspeeds of 85 km/h (50 mph)" - see above ("before 9 hours later")
  • "After it had peaked, Atu started weakening under the influence of strong vertical windshear, before later that day the JTWC issued their final advisory on Atu as it had become extratropical" - the previous sentence mentions March 12, but this sentence says "later that day", implying ET that day. However, the Infobox says March 13. Furthermore, it's a rather wordy sentence. Try making it simpler, regardless which agency says what
  • "before on..." - please fix its multiple usages
  • "During the next day, Beti continued to develop further before early on March 24, the system passed directly over the Pentecost and Malekula islands of Vanuatu and moved into the Coral Sea" - once more, there is no date before "During the next day", and the "before early on March 24" is ehh wording.
  • "As Beti intensified into a severe tropical cyclone, the ridge of high pressure, weakened after interacting with an upper level trough of low pressure, which enabled the system to start moving to the south-southeast" - I think I know what you're trying to say, but it's poorly worded
  • "before at 1800 UTC on March 26"
  • "During the next day, Beti moved towards the southeast under the influence of the trough, and emerged into the Coral Sea as a weakening tropical cyclone and had started to transition into an extratropical cyclone" - that's a bit of a run-on (using "and" twice)
  • "and between 4.3 -5.3 million (USD)" - something isn't right there. You have improper spacing, and it should probably start with $
  • "The most significant damage occurred in New Caledonia where wind and flooding destroyed crops and gardens and caused widespread disruption to the electricity network, water supply, road and telephone communications" - a comma could actually be useful there, although it's your call how you want to re-organize it (since it's a run-on)
  • You mention the (USD 4.3 -5.3 million) twice in the section, once in regards to overall damage and once in regard to New Caledonia. I'm guessing that total is limited to NC
  • You should link VUV

That's it for now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:09, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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