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Talk:1986 Pacific hurricane season/GA4

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 23:16, 5 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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I respect the fact that you do not want to rubber-stamp this article. In addition to the comments below, I copyedited the article quite a bit. YE Pacific Hurricane 01:16, 7 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Eh, Blas' section is somewhat poorly worded and a little confusing. "Tropical Storm Blas formed on June 17 from a tropical disturbance that ..." "The depression intensified into Tropical Storm Blas the next day." So Blas became a tropical storm on both June 17 and June 18? Didn't think so. Reading on: "The EPHC ceased advisories on June 19 after Blas's convection dissipated[2] roughly 600 mi (970 km) south of Cabo San Lucas." Advisories were ceased after Blas's convection dissipated. That's sorta like a dangling modifier. I suggest re-wording it to "After convection dissipated, the EPHC ceased advisories on Blas by June 19, while situated roughly 600 mi (970 km) south of Cabo San Lucas." or something similar.
  • "During its duration, Celia had passed by Socorro Island." - You should probably put this closer to when Celia actually passed by Socorro Island, since there is no mention of impact.
  • "During the afternoon of July 16, a tropical depression formed well away from land, and within 12 hours it strengthened into a tropical storm." - Hmm, "well away from land". Was this southwest of Mexico or the in the middle of the Indian Ocean?
  • "Satellite imagery began to show signs of developing a circulation, and the disturbance became a tropical depression and intensified into Tropical Storm Javier hours later." - What day(s) did all this happen?
  • "This created a hazard for swimming, but excellent surfing conditions. High surf advisories were issued.[19] Some waves were as high as 15 ft (4.6 m). The increased swells coincided with an international surfing event and Labor Day Weekend.[20] Due to the former, 600,000 people went to the beaches.[21]" - You should re-order those sentences so it keeps the swimming and surfing portion together. A few of them can be merged together, too. Re-write it to this or something similar: "High surf advisories were issued due to waves as high as 15 ft (4.6 m) in some areas.[19][20] This created hazardous swimming during an international surfing event and Labor Day Weekend.[20] Due to the former, 600,000 people went to the beaches.[21]"
  • I hope this won't be a Paine (pun intended), but it that storm's section, you use the word "Paine" in almost every sentence of the first paragraph. Additionally, there is three consecutive sentences starting with the word "Paine". Maybe you could cut down on that by alternative with "it", "the storm", or "the hurricane".
  • "Tropical Depression Twenty-Four originated as a tropical disturbance which moved westward offshore Nicaragua and was declared a depression on October 15." - Can you tighten this so it doesn't state that the storm developed twice and cut down on the uses of the words "tropical" and "depression"? Maybe you could instead say "A tropical disturbance moved westward offshore Nicaragua and was declared Tropical Depression Twenty-Four on October 15."
  • On second thought, ditch reference #35. It is unofficial and does not include all the 1986 names. I will let you use the list of names from 1992, 1998, 2004, or 2010 if you have to, as long as you also cite the retired named storms (this is to prove that the list is unchanged).
    • Unofficial does not mean unreliable. Neither of those articles you named have sources for their names. I would add a list form a GN article, but I have not found a list of all the names thus far. What should I do? YE Pacific Hurricane 17:54, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • On reference #1, change "Dorst Neal" to "Neal Dorst"
  • Why is there no link for the Eastern North Pacific Tropical Cyclones of 1986 source?
  • "Biondi, Franco; Gershunov, Alexander; Cayan, Daniel R." ----> "Franco Biondi, Alexander Gershunov, and Daniel R. Cayan"
  • After you addressed most of the issues and I made a few edits myself, I will now pass with article and list it as a GA.--12george1 (talk) 04:18, 16 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]