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Talk:1968 Atlantic hurricane season/GA1

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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 20:43, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Making landfall in Florida on June 4, Abby caused flooding and spawned four tornadoes, but leaving behind little damage." - Parallelism error. If the storm "caused flooding", it should be "left behind little damage."
  • "...with damage totaling $6.7 million and three fatalities." - If it were me, I'd switch the order to make it read better. "...with three fatalities and damaging totaling to $6.7 million."
  • "Hurricanes Brenda and Dolly and tropical storms Enda and Frances, as well as the subtropical storm, left negligible impact on land." - is it necessary to list them all? Just group them under "other storms" or something of that nature.
  • "It was a below average season in which eight tropical storms formed,[4]compared with the 1966–2009 average of 11.3 named storms." - compared with -> compared to.
  • "Despite an active beginning, this season had the fewest hurricane days in two decades, with the exception of 1962." - This is awkward. Why not just say it had the fewest hurricane days since 1962?
  • "None of the hurricanes strengthened into a major hurricane; four other seasons since the satellite era began featured no major hurricanes – 1972, 1986, 1994, and 2013." - I'd add "only" before "four" to emphasize how rare it is. En dash to colon, I think.
  • "The last storm of the season, a tropical depression, dissipated on November 25,[4] a week after the official end of hurricane season on November 30." - wha?
  • "September was the most active month, with five tropical depressions, two tropical storms, and one subtropical storm, which peaked with an intensity equivalent to a Category 1.}" - Erroneous bracket!
  • "The final tropical system, a tropical depression, existed in November and dissipated on November 25." - You've already said this twice in the article.
  • "The interaction of a mid-tropospheric trough and a cold front spawned a tropical depression on June 1." - Link trough.
  • "Several tornadoes spawned by Abby in Florida, though losses were rarely above $5,000" - missing a word.
  • "One twister in Monroe, North Carolina damaged 20 cars, and destroyed three homes and impacted 20 others." - Maybe switch the order of this sentence and the one before it.
  • "Overall, the storm caused approximately $450,000 in damage and six fatalities, all of them indirectly." --> "Overall, the storm caused approximately $450000 in damage and led to six indirect fatalities."
  • "Because the heaviest shower and thunderstorm activity remained well east, little impact was reported in the state." - Well east of what?
  • "Intensified then occurred, with the depression becoming Tropical Storm Brenda early on June 21." - Wrong word.
  • "Later on June 21 and into June 22, the Bermuda high-pressure built southwestward as a weak trough passed to the north, resulting in Brenda turning northeastward." - why don't you just say the Bermuda high?
  • "Gradually strengthening occurred, with the depression being upgraded to Tropical Storm Candy on the following day." - Wrong word.
  • "Hours later, Candy made landfall near Port Aransas, Texas at the same intensity. The storm quickly weakened and fell to tropical depression status by early on June 24." - Combine these two?
  • "The depression quickly reemerged into the Atlantic." re-emerged.
  • "Initially, the depression did not strengthen and was nearby absorbed by a cold front." - why are you just now linking cold front? It was mentioned in preceding sections.
  • "By August 12, the depression finally strengthened into Tropical Storm Dolly. Continuing to intensify, Dolly intensified into a hurricane later that day." --> "By early on August 12, the depression finally strengthened into Tropical Storm Dolly, and further developed into a hurricane later that day."
  • "Dolly briefly weakened back to a tropical storm on August 13, though it quickly re-strengthened into a hurricane, despite unfavorable conditions." --> "Dolly briefly weakened back to a tropical storm on August 13 amid unfavorable atmospheric conditions, only to reattain hurricane intensity on [(date) or later that day]."
  • "A weak high-level trough and a warm anticyclone to the east-northeastward generated low wind shear." - Wat?
  • No commas are needed for your pressure readings (ex. 1005mb, not 1,005mb)
  • "Edna generated into a tropical wave early the following day, while situated about 395 mi (365 km) east of Barbuda." - 395 mi = 365 km?
  • "A subtropical depression developed at 12:00 UTC on September 14, while located about 295 mi (475 km) southeast of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina." - This is a pet peeve of mine. Include North Carolina in the entire wikilink.
  • "he subtropical depression moved east-northeastward. Early on September 16, it briefly curved north-northwestward and strengthened into a subtropical storm. Later that day, the cyclone turned east-northeastward. By September 17, the storm decelerated and re-curved to the southeast. However, it began to accelerate on September 19." - This need to be combined and consolidated somehow.
  • "Strengthening continued, with the storm reaching an intensity the equivalent of a Category 1 hurricane early the following day." --> "Strengthened continued, with the storm attaining an intensity equivalent to a Category 1 hurricane early the following day."
  • "Moving east-northeastward, it dissipated offshore St. George Island, Florida, about 24 hours later." - No comma before "about".
  • "Drifting northeastward, the depression was situated offshore Central Florida on August 28." - Okay??

Overall, this article needs another editor to copy edit it. Many sentences (I listed some of the worst here) are choppy and unnecessary. I'll pass once all of the above has been addressed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 20:43, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Passing this article, GC. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 22:52, 30 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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