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Talk:1940 Louisiana hurricane/GA1

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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 01:22, 25 April 2013 (UTC) Hi, TAM.[reply]

  • "Property, livestock, and crops, especially cotton, corn, and pecan crops, were heavily damaged." -- Because of the sheer amount of comments already in this sentence, I'd take the two I bolded/italicized/underlined (gotta make sure you see it!) and replace them with em dashes.
 Done - I had to go to WikiMarkup to see what was bolded (comments?), but I did replace the commas with dashes. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Once entering the Gulf of Mexico, however, observations indicated that the disturbance developed a closed center of circulation." -- Once to Upon.
 Done - Once upon a time... TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Moving west-southwest, the depression steadily intensified, and attained tropical storm intensity at 0000 UTC on August 4." -- No need for a comma.
 Done - Removed the second comma. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "During the night of August 4, the tropical storm executed a slight northward curve." - You already state the date in the previous sentence so I'd just say something like, "Late that evening".
 Done - Changed to the alternative provided.
  • "The S.S. Connecticut observed force 11 winds, the strongest wind measurement associated with the storm as recorded by sea." -- "As recorded by sea" implies the sea had a notebook and recorded the value. I hope it didn't.
 Done - You know the Mariners Weather Log? That's the log of the sea :D TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gradually strengthening, the hurricane reached Category 2 intensity by 0600 UTC on August 7." -- You've made it clear in the past two sentences that it was intensifying. No need to say it again.
 Done - I do that a lot, but yes, I did remove the lead-in. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The storm made landfall at 2100 UTC later that day near Sabine Pass, Texas at peak intensity" -- Move "at peak intensity" to after "landfall" and then change "at 2100 UTC" to "around" or something along those lines.
 Done - "At about..." Just kidding. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After moving inland, the storm immediately curved northwards and began to gradually weaken." -- We've been through this before. A direction is not plural, so there is no such thing as "northwards"; it is northward.
 Done - Singularized. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The depression persisted into Arkansas,[4] where it transitioned into a trough of low pressure at 1800 UTC on August 10 after becoming too elongated to be considered a closed tropical cyclone" -- I know what you mean by "closed tropical cyclone" but I would elaborate.
 Done - Added some detail, I hope you are satisfied with the content I added. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Storm warnings were displayed for areas east of Lake Charles to Grand Isle, Louisiana and areas west of Sabine Pass to Velasco, Texas." -- Displayed isn't the best word choice; put in effect, were placed, issued, etc would be better.
 Done - I guess I was too concentrated on the newspapers because they all say that :P I did change it to 'placed' however.
  • "Storm surge peaked at 6.4 ft (1.95 m) above average in western portions of Lake Pontchartrain." -- Dash...just dash...between above and average.
 Done - There's no such thing as 'just a dash,' but I assumed you meant hyphen so I changed it to that. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A bridge crossing Thunder Bayou, which extends west of the lake, was washed out by the waves" -- extends --> extended
 Done - Fixed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Precipitation peaked at 37.5 in (953 mm) on Miller Island, which remains the highest tropical cyclone rainfall amount associated with a tropical cyclone recorded in state history." -- You already state it was the wettest in the first sentence.
 Done - Meh. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In Louisiana, the hurricane caused $9 million in damages, though only six fatalities resulted, relatively less than most storms of similar scale." - In Louisiana is more of a transition; I'd change to "Across the state".
 Done - Changed to the suggestion provided. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sustained winds of 80 mbar (130 km/h) were widespread, with occasional gusts peaking in excess of 90 mph (145 km/h)." -- 80 millibars...must be extremely low wind.
 Done - Who ever measured wind as a pressure? And converted that to kilometers per hour? TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Be sure to keep consistency. If you use the |last=,first= method, make sure all references have it. Or you could use the |author= method. But not both.
 Done - That was the result of an AutoFill, but I fixed that. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 01:46, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, it's good. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:22, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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