Talk:1937 tour of Germany by the Duke and Duchess of Windsor/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Caeciliusinhorto (talk · contribs) 22:13, 6 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Serial Number 54129: I will review this article – expect initial comments over the weekend. Caeciliusinhorto (talk) 22:13, 6 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, comments on the lead and first two sections:

high tea: usage of this phrase is changing, but in BrEng it is still often used to mean a usually-working class evening meal. Unless (and I think it unlikely!) this is what Wallis and Hess were having, I would say "afternoon tea" instead.
- Agree! No tripe for them I reckon.
experience a State Visit as his consort, somewhere. Is "somewhere" doing any work here?
- Nope, sacked.
The first paragraph of background in general is a bit difficult to read. In particular, the sentence neginning "Further, as king,[...]" could be made less convoluted.
- I've pretty thoroughly re-written it, breaking up and shortening sentences; what think ye?
already, by this time, unnecessary to have both "already" and "by this time".
- Done.
The Duchess, too, was also again, no need for both "too" and "also".
- Ditto.
re. Charles Bedaux: I would be inclined to briefly say who Bedaux is in wikipedia's voice – something as simple as "businessman Charles Bedaux" would be enough – just to make it clear that this is not a visit which was initiated by the German government.
- Right, added non-WP:FALSETITLE :)
Bedaux made Windsor a similar offer, and proposed that Bedaux organise it. I realise that "he organise it" would be ambiguous here, but there must be a better way of phrasing this so as to avoid the repetition of "Bedaux". How about "Bedaux made Windsor a similar proposal, and offered to organise it."?
- Good call, and thanks for the reword; used.
Why is Bedaux's letter to Solbert attributed to Paul Schmidt? Is this Schmidt's translation?
- No, it's because I was a dumbass. Probably confusing it with Schmidt's letter below it. I've (correctly, this time) attributed it to the Bedaux–Solbert correspondence.

Caeciliusinhorto (talk) 09:35, 7 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, the rest of the article:

de Vries has described[...] Cadbury has described is a little repetitive; I would reword one of these.
- Tweaked.
The Hesses were paid up members of the NSDP From context, I assume that the Hesses are the Duke and Duchess of Saxe-Coburg? Should probably clarify this, because I suspect if you say "Hesses" and "members of the Nazi party" most people will put two and two together to get Rudolph and Ilse Hess. (And should it be NSDAP?)
- Good catch, changed to duke and duchess, added the Arbeiter's A.
which included his cousin Prince Phillip von Hessen: "the Duke's cousin". The last "he" was Ogilvie-Forbes.
- Done.
I spotted a few instances where Göring is missing his umlaut.
- I'm surely blind, but I did a ctrl+f—and didn't! Apologies; could you point 'em out?
"In popular culture": I am generally suspicious on in popular culture sections. This one, in particular, is only a single sentence long, and at any rate I am not sure how much prominence we should be giving to Ezra Pound's views on Nazi Germany – this is the same man who said that Hitler was "a Jeanne D'Arc, a saint" after all! If there's a serious subset of opinion that Winsdor's activities delayed the onset of the war, it can be discussed in the section on reactions/historiography and Pound's opinion can be noted, but if Pound is as much of a fringe crank here as the rest of his opinions on Hitler, I'd just cut it entirely. Caeciliusinhorto (talk) 14:02, 8 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Bloody hell. That's a perfect example of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing (on my part). I knew Pound was a crank, but not that he was a complete arse. He and his BS have been erased. Lucky escape, cheers.
Many thanks for the review, Caeciliusinhorto; please accept my apology for the tardiness of my reply. I've had rather intermittent PC access over the last few months (i.e., the machine kept breaking down!). Sorry about that. ——SerialNumber54129 15:55, 24 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- @Serial Number 54129: No worries – I assumed you didn't have computer access as you weren't editing at all. I'm now happy with this article: congrats on your new GA. Caeciliusinhorto (talk) 19:13, 25 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]