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Talk:1924–25 Cardiff City F.C. season

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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:1924–25 Cardiff City F.C. season/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:50, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • "finishing the year in 11th place." no need for "the year". - Done
  • " the competition's 50-year history" you used "competition" in the sentence already, perhaps switch one for "tournament" or something? - Done
  • Feels like the lead is 50% FA Cup run, 50% everything else in the entire season. I know it was the most significant aspect of the season, but perhaps not worthy of 50% of the lead...
Trimmed slightly, let me know if you feel it needs more. Kosack (talk) 18:44, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "met Sheffield United. However, they suffered a 1–0 defeat. " merge, and reduce the sad tone by saying "where they lost 1–0." - Done
  • " but were" -> "where they were". - Done
  • "between 60-70,000 people" no real need for the "between" when you have a range there, and use an en-dash in that range, not a hyphen. - Done
  • " out on the title" reiterate league title as we've talked about tour games in between. - Done
  • "The club also signed James McLean..." perhaps worth noting that he failed to make any appearances during the season. - Done
  • "Cardiff started its season..." feels like the first time you've referred to them in the singular... - Done
  • "The side was one " which one, you've mentioned two different ones since last talking about Cardiff... - Done
  • "several who began the" perhaps "several to begin the..." - Done
  • "The previous two season's top goalscorer..." the lead says this was his fourth consecutive season as top scorer. - Done
  • "brace" is something that I've always had trouble ensuring is universally understood... - Linked
  • "missing several" why not just "miss"? - Done
  • "but an injury to Davies forced him out of the side" is this the same injury as you noted in the last sentence of the previous paragraph?
No, a different one. I've reworded slightly to hopefully make it clearer. Kosack (talk) 18:44, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "he was remarked in The Times" noted rather than remarked makes more sense for me. - Done
  • "netting braces" again, a little bit "in universe"/jargon.
Dropped netting for scoring. Kosack (talk) 18:44, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "was postponed due to a waterlogged pitch leaving Cardiff in 15th place" would think a comma after pitch. - Done
  • "Cardiff failed to score in its" that odd singular thing (for me) again.. - Done
  • "for the side.[9] The side suffered" repetitive. - Done
  • Shucks, did I miss this in the other season list: player name in the squad list table should sort by surname... - Done
  • Same for goalscorers.
  • Thinking about it, does the match day goalscorers need sorting? They're listed in the order they scored in the match, so the column will only sort by the name of the first scorer, which perhaps isn't something worth sorting so to speak? Thoughts? Kosack (talk) 12:02, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Despite being considered heavy favourites, the side c" again, you last mentioned a different club... - Done
  • "a third replay" wasn't it a second replay? - Done
  • "during the 1922–23 season" wouldn't it be more appropriate to link to that season's FA Cup article rather than Cardiff's season page? - Done
  • "Over 50,000 spectators" More than... - Done
  • "The goal rejuvenated Leicester" a little bit journalese. - Done
  • "semifinal" or "semi-final"? - Done
  • "92,000 spectators attended ..." avoid starting a sentence with a number. - Done
  • Also, when sorting the cup table, I would probably expect to see the rounds sort in "round" order rather than bare alphabetical order. - Done
  • Probably no point in having a single entry table as sortable... - Done
  • Any player/manager images we could add into the two long prose sections (league season and FA Cup run?)
Added Gill again but now Harry Beadles takes the total of players with images up to two! Kosack (talk) 09:11, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do all our readers know what the "offside rule" is? - Done
  • "The disappointing start to the season led Fred Stewart to sell long-serving forward Jimmy Gill ..." when did he sell him, it implies some kind of blame as well... - Reworded
  • Red-linked categories are a no-no. - Done

That's about it for me, another good read, and a handful of minor issues above to resolve, so I'll put it on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:39, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @The Rambling Man:, I've addressed all of the comments above. Need some further input on the sorting of goalscorers, cheers. Kosack (talk) 12:02, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Kosack no problem, responded above. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:35, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks TRM, I've made that column unsortable now. Kosack (talk) 14:22, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
No worries, I made a couple of final tweaks but I'm more than happy with the article now, so promoting. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:47, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]