Talk:13th Missouri Cavalry Regiment (Confederate)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 21:45, 20 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to these shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:45, 20 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs
Images properly licensed
Way too much detail in the lede. Summarize, Summarize, Summarize!
- I've reduced the lead by around a third. Is this enough, or do I need to take off some more?
  - I'd suggest deleting brigade assignments and the circumstances around the Battle of Poison Spring.
    - Done. I've got it down to two paragraphs.
Since the unit wasn't raised until '63, the early action in the background section should be compressed.
- Halved
  - Really, all that matters in that entire first paragraph is that the Confederates failed to occupy Missouri and that they were reduced to guerilla fighting in '62-'63. I won't hold you to just that, but compress it some more. The rest of your changes work just fine.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 05:38, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    - Is the further reduced version sufficiently trimmed? It's getting a lot closer to the minimum. Hog Farm _Bacon 02:26, 12 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
On September 28, Wood and the 275 men, organized into a six-company battalion, he had recruited by then were ordered to move from their camp at Arkadelphia, Arkansas to join Marmaduke's command, but this directive was remanded because the unit was too poorly disciplined to be an effective combat unit. awkward, possibly split in half
Split. I was trying to do too much with a single sentence
Suggest house-to-house fighting rather than urban warfare as the latter sounds far too modern
- Went with "fighting through the streets", as that's closer to the source
Proximity alert for 14th Missour Cavalry Battalion in the part about the Battle of Poison Spring
- Rephrased one instance
to Cuba, Missouri on September 30 missing trailing comma
- Done
men fell to Independence fell where?
- Should have been "fell back to"
repeating rifles attack Potato Hill attacked?
- Yes, changed to attacked. I'm a horrible copy editor.
Complete casualty figures for the battalion over the course of the entire campaign.??--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:05, 8 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Forgot the last half of the sentence.
  - Sturmvogel 66 - I've responded to all above. How does my trimming of the lead look? Is more needed? Hog Farm _Bacon 05:14, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]