List of The Phil Silvers Show episodes

This is a list of all episodes of The Phil Silvers Show.

Series overview

Season	Episodes		Originally aired
			First aired	Last aired
Pilot			Unaired
1	34		September 20, 1955 (1955-09-20)	May 15, 1956 (1956-05-15)
2	36		September 18, 1956 (1956-09-18)	June 11, 1957 (1957-06-11)
3	37		September 17, 1957 (1957-09-17)	June 27, 1958 (1958-06-27)
4	35		September 26, 1958 (1958-09-26)	June 19, 1959 (1959-06-19)
Special			January 23, 1959 (1959-01-23)

Episodes

Pilot

Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date
"Audition Show"	Jerome Shaw	Nat Hiken	Unaired

Season 1 (1955–56)

No. overall	No. in season	Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date
1	1	"New Recruits"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken	September 20, 1955 (1955-09-20)
It is morning roll call at Fort Baxter in Roseville, Kansas. Sgt. Ernest G. Bilko (Phil Silvers) is in the middle of a poker game. The game breaks up when Bilko runs out of money and he can't get any from the guys in his platoon. Bilko finds out that the others were using a mirror to cheat during the game. The Chaplain suggests to Col. John T. Hall (Paul Ford) that he give Bilko an additional assignment. Bilko runs the motor pool so well that he has extra time to play poker. The Chaplain says Bilko should train the new recruits. The new recruits arrive and Bilko hopes to get money from them so he can play in the next big poker game. Bilko learns that the men gave all their money to Pvt. Higgins to hold. Higgins tells Bilko that holding the money is too much responsibility for him. He would like Bilko to hold the money. Higgins says that the Chaplain said he could trust Bilko. Bilko tells Cpl. Steve Henshaw (Allan Melvin) and Cpl. Rocco Barbella (Harvey Lembeck) that he won't use the money to gamble with. Bilko is tempted so he gives the money back to Higgins.
2	2	"Empty Store"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken	September 27, 1955 (1955-09-27)
The men are still talking about how Sgt. Stanley Sowici (Harry Clark), Sgt. Andy Pendleton (Ned Glass) and Sgt. Francis Grover took all of Bilko's money in the poker game. Hoping to get some money for another poker game, Bilko tries to sell tickets to a dance, but no one is interested. Bilko learns that Pvt. Higgins lost the money he was holding for the men in a poker game. Bilko comes up with a plan to get his and the men's money back from the three Sergeants. He rents an empty store in town and people start to wonder why. Figuring Bilko is on to something, Pendleton gives him some money to be a partner. Sowici and Grover soon do the same. Col. Hall gave Bilko the OK to rent the store and is now worried about what's going on. A lot of the soldiers have been hanging around the store trying to find out what will be going in it. The Sergeants learn it really just is an empty store. Bilko gives Pvt. Higgins his share of the money back. Bilko finds out that with his share of the money, Barbella and Henshaw rented 6 more empty stores. Herbie Faye as Cpl. Sam Fender.
3	3	"The WAC"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach	October 4, 1955 (1955-10-04)
Bilko decides to volunteer for a special duty because it would provide him with his own personal jeep. Bilko makes sure the other sergeants aren't interested in volunteering and find out about the jeep. Bilko finds out that a Sgt. Hogan also volunteered, but he doesn't know who that is. He decides to throw a party for this Hogan and then hopefully talk him out of the special duty. Bilko even gets local girl Mildred (Jane Dulo) to be Hogan's date. Hogan turns out to be Sgt. Joan Hogan (Elisabeth Fraser), a WAC. Everyone at the party finds out about the jeep. Bilko tries several ways to get Hogan to withdraw her name. He tries to make Hogan feel sorry for him, but she turns the tables on him.
4	4	"The Horse"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	October 11, 1955 (1955-10-11)
New recruit Pvt. Carter tells Bilko to bet some of the platoon's money on Bell Boy at the horse races. Bell Boy comes in last and Bilko doesn't know what he'll tell the men. Bilko learns the horse is for sale for $100 and Carter discovers that the horse has a leg problem he could fix. Carter says that when the leg is better, the horse will win plenty of races. Bilko buys the horse and they sneak it onto the base that night and put it in the gun shed. Meanwhile, Col. Hall is worried because General Strait (John Alexander) is coming for an inspection. In order to get food for the horse, Bilko has to get some of his men to volunteer to eat just oats for an Army experiment. After a while, Carter has Bell Boy's leg all better, but they need to run him. That night, Col. Hall is awakened by the sound of a horse running. Bilko has Pvt. Palmer (P. Jay Sidney) rig up some lights that the horse can wear at night. Carter tells Bilko that due to a bad tendon, Bell Boy will never be able to race. They hide the horse in the guest house just as General Strait arrives. Bilko can't stop Strait from going in the guest house. Strait is actually happy because the horse reminds him of his cavalry days. Jack Healy as Pvt. Mullen.
5	5	"AWOL"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	October 18, 1955 (1955-10-18)
The men are complaining about having to get up so early. Bilko tells them that Pvt. Steve Nagy (Pat Hingle) went AWOL again. Every time there's a family problem, Nagy leaves. Col. Hall sends Bilko to Chicago to retrieve Nagy. If he brings Nagy back by the next day, Hall won't make Nagy serve time. Bilko arrives at the Hungarian home of the Nagys where they are celebrating the engagement of Steve's sister, Magda (Lilia Skala). Bilko wants to leave right away with Steve, but then he sees the beautiful Vilma Nagy. Bilko starts a fight between the two families when he beats the groom's father, Mr. Varga (Hans Schumm), at a card game. The wedding is called off. Despite some confusion, Bilko finds a way for the couple to be married. Col. Hall sends Sgt. Sowici to bring back Bilko. Sowici winds up staying for the celebration.
6	6	"The Boxer"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	October 25, 1955 (1955-10-25)
The base will be having a boxing tournament this coming Saturday. Sowici tells the Lieutenant (Frank Marth) that Cpl. Basil Egan (Johnny Seven) was just transferred to his kitchen. Egan is apparently a good boxer. Bilko will be entering Pvt. Dino Papparelli (Billy Sands), who isn't very good. Bilko turns down a bet with Sowici. Bilko then learns that one of his men, Pvt. Claude Dillingham (Walter Cartier), was a Golden Gloves champ. He now makes a bet with Sowici. But then Claude tells Bilko that he promised his fiancé Felicia that he wouldn't box anymore. At a bar, Bilko tries to get Claude to fight a Navy man to defend Felicia's honor. Bilko learns that Claude's hobby is gardening and he gets triggered when someone insults Chrysanthemums. Bilko gets Egan to insult the flower in front of Claude and they're ready to fight. The Chaplain gets Claude and Egan to become friends and they decide not to fight each other. Terry Carter as Grover's Boxer. Dody Goodman as Waitress.
7	7	"The Hoodlum"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken	November 1, 1955 (1955-11-01)
Bilko has the men breaking their backs cleaning the barracks. They discover that he's hoping to win Soldier of the Month and get a 3 day pass. Meanwhile, Col. Hall tells the Chaplain that he's going to dishonorably discharge Pvt. Chick Parker because he's nothing but a trouble maker. The Chaplain talks Hall into giving Parker one more chance and he is assigned to Bilko's platoon. For now, Bilko puts up with Parker's insubordination because he doesn't want to jeopardize winning the 3 day pass. Bilko comes up with a plan to straighten Parker out. They tell Parker that they are going to rob Fort Knox and he's going to help. Bilko gives him several things to do in preparation of the job. In the process, Parker is doing a lot of extra work that impresses Hall and the Chaplain. The men start to like Parker and he likes being accepted. Col. Hall comes by and gives the Soldier of the Month award to Parker.
8	8	"Mardi Gras"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	November 8, 1955 (1955-11-08)
It will soon be the platoon's annual Motor Pool Mardi Gras. Pvt. Duane Doberman (Maurice Gosfield) is picked to be King. In Doberman's locker the men find a scrapbook with pictures of socialite Joy Landers (Constance Ford), who has just returned from Paris. Bilko decides that Joy will be Doberman's Queen. Cpl. Barbella and some of the men go to see Joy and tell her about being appointed Queen. She laughs at the men and then turns them down. Meanwhile, Bilko tries to teach "girl shy" Doberman how to talk to a woman. Bilko comes up with an elaborate plan to trick Joy into wanting to be Queen by thinking that Doberman is something special. Even after he's describe Doberman's looks, Joy begs Bilko to introduce her to him. Doberman tells Joy to get lost. Bilko tells her that Doberman doesn't enjoy people laughing at him and this was their revenge. Having learned her lesson, Joy agrees to help with the Mardi Gras and be Queen. Russell Hicks as Mr. Landers.
9	9	"The Eating Contest"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach	November 15, 1955 (1955-11-15)
Bilko's Company B constantly loses money to rival Company A. Cpl. Ed Honnegan (Fred Gwynne) has been transferred to Bilko's platoon. Cpl. Barbella recognizes Honnegan as "The Stomach", an eating champion. Bilko bets Sgt. Allan (Murray Hamilton), from Company A, and arranges an eating contest. Allan's entry will be Sgt. Hog Henderson (Bern Hoffman), who has won many times before. Bilko discovers that Ed only eats a lot when he's miserable. The last time he was that miserable was when his girl back home left him. Bilko finds a way to make Ed miserable again. After a talk with the Chaplain, Ed feels better. Bilko manages to get Ed sad again. It is the night of the contest and Hog remembers Ed. Honnegan wins the contest. Suddenly, Ed's old girlfriend Hazel shows up and they're happy to see each other. The Chaplain makes Bilko give the gambling winnings to the happy couple. Note: In 1997, TV Guide ranked this episode #53 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes.
10	10	"The Centennial"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	November 22, 1955 (1955-11-22)
Lt. Barry Parker (Al Checco), a special services officer, has been transferred to Fort Baxter. Parker is surprised at the total lack of fine arts activities. He tells Bilko's men that he expects to see them at the art class. When they learn that beautiful Miss Doozer will be a model for the class, all the men want to go. But, they are disappointed when they have to paint Miss Doozer fully clothed. Bilko comes up with a plan to celebrate the centennial of the camp, knowing the camp has a pretty shady history. Col. Hall doesn't want Parker to find out about the camp's history because he'll probably quit. But when Parker curtails Hall's own card playing activates, Hall lets Bilko go ahead with his plans. Bilko and the men rehearse a play about the history of Fort Baxter. Parker is shocked at all the corruption that occurred. Parker cancels the celebration and quits. Lt. Kissel (Jason Evers) is the new special services officer and Bilko suggests a centennial celebration to him.
11	11	"Bivouac"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	November 29, 1955 (1955-11-29)
It is time for the camp's annual bivouac maneuvers. Col. Hall mentions to Captain 'Iron Curtain' Curtis, MD (Arthur Storch) that every year Bilko comes up with some disease to avoid participating. Bilko tries to talk several of the other sergeants into faking an illness with him. They all claim they're not doing it this year. Bilko is surprised when he sees the new doctor. Yet, Bilko is still able to fool Curtis into thinking he has the rare contagious Wilkinson's Disease. Curtis rounds up the sergeants that Bilko talked to and will isolate them together. Curtis gets upset when he realizes he's been tricked. Curtis sends Lt. Hilda Swenson, RN (Philippa Bevans) to stop Bilko from partying in his room. Hilda falls for Bilko's flattery. Curtis decides to get even with Bilko by making him believe he has a rare fatal disease. Hall thinks Bilko is dying until Curtis tells him the truth. Hall makes Bilko do the bivouac maneuvers.
12	12	"The Singing Contest"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	December 6, 1955 (1955-12-06)
It is winter time at Fort Baxter and the men are freezing. Bilko gets a memo about a camp singing contest. The finals will be held at Camp Phillips in Miami. Hoping to go somewhere warm, Bilko gets the men to practice singing together. Doberman does a solo and he's not very good. Col. Hall accuses Bilko of betting on the singing contest, but then Hall finds out it was someone else. Because they're so bad, Bilko takes the platoon's welfare fund and bets against them. While Bilko is gone making the bet, the men learn that new recruit Pvt. Claude Brubaker has a great voice. Bilko hears Brubaker's voice and knows the men could win. He tries to talk them into keeping Doberman as the soloist. Bilko then tries to have Brubaker transferred, but it doesn't work. It is time for the contest and Bilko has arranged for Brubaker to be detained somewhere else. The men are sad because they're going to lose. Bilko gets Brubaker back in time and the men wind up in the finals in Miami. Bilko also finds a way to replace the money that he lost in the bet.
13	13	"The Twitch"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	December 13, 1955 (1955-12-13)
Col. Hall complains to Captain Whitney about Bilko and all the gambling on the base. Hall tells Barbella that he is to tell Bilko that he is fed up and will be cracking down. Whitney thinks there should be more cultural things for the men to do. At a meeting of some officers and their wives, Bilko can't help but flatter the women, including newcomer Gloria Whitney (Charlotte Rae). Hall tells Bilko that he wants all the men to attend a lecture on Beethoven given by Gloria on Saturday night. There will also be a string quartet. Bilko's men aren't interested in going. Sgt. Allan says that he saw one of Gloria's lectures and she would always twitch during it. Bilko and the men decide to bet on how many times Gloria twitches. During the lecture, Hall figures out what the men are up to. Bilko tells Hall that the men will attend a lecture next week by Lt. Wigman, who tugs at his ear.
14	14	"The Reunion"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach	December 20, 1955 (1955-12-20)
The men learn that Bilko has been granted a 10 day leave and they're afraid he'll hit them up for money. Bilko gets a letter about a 10 year reunion of his old squad from WW2. Henshaw and Barbella find a way to get money from the men so Bilko can go to the reunion in New York City. Bilko arrives at the Waldorf and he's excited to show the other men how far he's gone in the Army. The men show up to Bilko's room. Bilko is surprised to learn that they are all very successful businessmen and one guy is a doctor. Bilko can't bring himself to tell the others that he's still in the Army. Bilko has a change of heart. When he meets the others for dinner, he's wearing his uniform. The men are actually impressed and they have a great evening reminiscing. The next day one of the men, Pappy Morgan (Horace McMahon), wants to give Bilko a job in his trucking company. After getting a taste of what the job would entail, Bilko decides he'd be happier with his platoon. John Anderson as Zeke 'Ozark' Rutledge.
15	15	"The Rich Kid"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Barry Blitzer & Terry Ryan	December 27, 1955 (1955-12-27)
Cpl. Fender is leaving on furlough because his wife had their seventh child. Bilko is upset because he has to give Fender $100 from the platoon welfare fund. Bilko was trying to save up money to buy the Paradise Bar and Grill in Roseville. Pvt. Tommy Vandemere (Mark Rydell) is sent to the platoon to replace Fender. Bilko learns that Tommy is sole heir to a multi-million dollar fortune. Tommy wants a transfer because he knows nothing about cars and he doesn't want to hurt the motor pool's efficiency. The men do what they can to make Tommy fit in. One night they take Tommy to the Paradise Bar. Bilko tries to hint at getting the money to buy the place. Tommy tells him it would be a bad investment. But, because the men have been so good to him, Tommy gives Bilko a blank check. In the end, Bilko decides to not take any money from Tommy. They later learn that he won't get his inheritence for 10 years. Dody Goodman as Waitress. Henry Lascoe as Sam Adamapplelis.
16	16	"Hollywood"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken	January 3, 1956 (1956-01-03)
Cecil D. Chadwick (Howard Smith), a Hollywood producer, is planning to make a war film. Benson, his assistant, wants someone who served at the battle of Kabuchi Island to be a technical advisor. Apparently the only serving member of the Army they can find is Sgt. Bilko. General Merritt (Malcolm Lee Beggs), from the Pentagon, calls Col. Hall. At the movie studio, Bilko sits in on a meeting about the movie. There is some confusion over which side of the island the battle was fought and Bilko wants to make some other changes. Chadwick wants Bilko off the property. Bilko threatens to go to the reporters. Filming starts and Bilko causes some problems for Rory Mundane (Eric Fleming), the star of the picture. Bilko takes issue with an actor that is to play him in the movie. Chadwick is furious. Thanks to Bilko, production of the movie is way behind schedule. Chadwick cancels the movie. General Merritt is actually happy about the movie's cancellation and wants Hall to congratulate Bilko. Jule Styne as Himself. Robert Dryden as Sampson.
17	17	"The Investigation"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	January 10, 1956 (1956-01-10)
The men learn that Washington has formed a committee to investigate waste in the military and it could mean pay cuts. The committee is coming to Fort Baxter. Bilko actually thinks he can get the committee to give the men raises. He fast talks Col. Hall into letting him show the committee around the camp. Congressman Pettiguild (Ralph Dunn), Clyde Fortright (Howard Freeman) and Alice Colby (Nina Olivette) arrive at the camp. Bilko hopes to show that the camp is very poor. At first Fortright has a hard time believing things are so destitute, but then he is convinced. Fortright says he'll make sure the men get more money. But after the committee goes to Hall's house, they find out things are far from poor and Bilko deceived them. Hall tells the committee he'll show them what the camp is really like. Bilko decides to get some money for the men by playing poker with Fortright and Pettiguild. Jason Evers as Captain Kyler.
18	18	"Kids in the Trailer"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	January 17, 1956 (1956-01-17)
Bilko tells Doberman he won a three day pass, all expenses paid. Pvt. Mike O'Brien tells Bilko that his wife and kids arrived in town unexpectedly. They are in a trailer park and Bilko drives him over. Bilko meets the family. Wife Peg is disappointed that Mike can't get any time off. Bilko tells her that Mike is getting a three day pass and will get a WAC to babysit the three kids. Bilko and the men guilt Doberman into giving up his pass. Mike and Peg leave and Bilko is with the WAC in the trailor. Barbella and Henshaw come by and say the WAC is being sent to another camp and they couldn't get a replacement. Bilko is stuck watching the kids and he doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper. Bilko sneaks the kids into camp. Mike Jr. is very much into the Army and gets the men to be more presentable. Mike Jr. learns that his father is actually using Doberman's pass. He goes to Col. Hall to report his father is AWOL. Hall has his wife watch the kids and gives Doberman his pass. Doberman winds up giving his pass to Bilko.
19	19	"The Revolutionary War"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	January 24, 1956 (1956-01-24)
Bilko receives a package from his Aunt Minerva. It contains items from his ancester, Major Joshua Bilko, who was in the Revolutionary War. Joshua was on George Washington's staff. When he learns the supposed great things Joshua did, Bilko feels ashamed and decides to be a better soldier. Bilko tells Col. Hall that he wants to go into officer training. Bilko wants his men to act more Army. Bilko reads Joshua's diary with Barbella and Henshaw. It starts to sound as though Joshua was a conniving and shifty soldier. Bilko still defends him. They then read that Joshua sold tickets for the boat crossing of the Delaware. He sold so many that Washington had to stand. In the end, Washington strips Joshua of his rank. Joshua recommends Benedict Arnold (Frank Marth) as his replacement. Bilko then finds a medal given to Joshua by the British and realizes he was a traitor. Bilko decides to not be an officer and goes back to his old ways. Edith King as Mrs. George Washington.
20	20	"The Transfer"	Al De Caprio	Harvey Orkin, Vincent Bogert and Nat Hiken	January 31, 1956 (1956-01-31)
Col. Hall comes back from Washington and is furious with Bilko. Hall saw Bilko and a blonde woman driving in Hall's staff car. Hall also wants Bilko to update his records. Until that is finished, there will be no outside activities, including this Saturday's dance. Sgt. Joan Hogan wants Bilko to pay back the money she lent him. Thinking Hall will never let it happen, Bilko wants to scare Hall by threatening to put in for a transfer. But Hall has had enough of Bilko's antics and transfers him to Fort Jackson, Kentucky. Col. Burke reads Bilko's record and actually likes the antics he's pulled. Sgt. Baycher (Bob Hastings), Bilko's replacement, arrives at Hall's office. Baycher is an overly efficient soldier. Meanwhile, Bilko is fitting in quite well at his new camp, with their dances and poker games. It has been a month and Baycher is driving Hall crazy. Hall's wife, Nell, tells him he clearly misses Bilko. Taking money from the men at Fort Jackson is too easy and Bilko misses the challenge. Bilko winds up coming back to Fort Baxter and Hall is happy about it. Billie Allen as WAC Billie.
21	21	"The Rest Cure"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Harvey Orkin & Barry Blitzer	February 7, 1956 (1956-02-07)
Fort Baxter is in the midst of a heat wave. Captain Barker (Nicholas Saunders) ask Col. Hall if he granted Bilko a furlough. Hall says apparently an Aunt of Bilko's, who lives in northern Wisconsin, is quite ill. Barker thinks it is just an excuse to go somewhere cooler. Barker also thinks a talent show Bilko is running will finance his trip. Bilko learns that Hall did barnyard imitations when he was at West Point. Bilko tells his men that he talked Hall into being in the talent show. Barker tells Bilko the show has been cancelled. Barker found out that Bilko lied about his Aunt being sick. Bilko and the men see a news reel about an Army recreational facility in the Rockies for soldiers suffering from mental fatigue. Bilko finds a way to get Major C. W. Friend (David White), who runs the facility, to come and inspect his men. When Friend arrives, Bilko gets all the men to act strangely. Friend wants to send the men to the facility, but Barker tells him the men acting like this is all a hoax. Barker brings Friend to Col. Hall to straighten things out, but Hall does his imitations instead. Things backfire on Bilko when Friend only takes Barker with him.
22	22	"Dinner at Sowici's"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Harvey Orkin & Barry Blitzer	February 14, 1956 (1956-02-14)
Bilko is to be best man at the Army wedding of Joe Miller. His men tease him about when he'll marry casual girlfriend Sgt. Joan Hogan, but he says that won't happen. During the ceremony, Bilko starts to worry that Joan may have marriage on her mind. Something Joan does worries Bilko even more. Bilko's mind is eased when Joan says they had an agreement about no G.I. marriage. But then she says her parents are coming to meet him. Barbella and Henshaw tell Bilko he needs to break it off with Joan. Bilko gets jealous when another soldier asks Joan out. Knowing that Sowici constantly fights with his wife Agnes, Bilko wants to take Joan there for dinner. Hopefully this will sour her on marriage. Sowici and Agnes are touched that Bilko wants to have dinner with them and they decide to show him a happy home. When they arrive at the Sowici home, Bilko is surprised to see them acting like a loving couple. Something happens that causes Joan to leave in tears. Darryl Richard as Stanley Sowici Jr.
23	23	"Army Memoirs"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Harvey Orkin & Barry Blitzer	February 21, 1956 (1956-02-21)
In New York City, Publisher C. Dunne receives another Army memoir. The title is called "Bilko". It all started when Col. Hall is upset about the monthly reports from Washington. Three of his four sergeants were reprimanded for unmilitary conduct. Bilko comes under pressure when Grover, Pendleton and Sowici complain about his activity on the base. Captain Barker demands that Bilko be punished. Hall demotes him and Bilko becomes the oldest private in the Army. Bilko tells Barbella and Henshaw that it won't be long and he'll be a sergeant again. Bilko pretends to write a book and the others are worried about what he'll say about them. Bilko finds a way to trick Pendleton and Grover into revealing some major mistakes they made that cost the Army. Sowici is worried he's next. The three beg Hall to make Bilko a sergeant again. Bilko tricks Hall into revealing something about himself. We can assume Bilko gets his stripes. Dunne reads that Hall didn't give Bilko his stripes back. Dunne won't publish it as it is too unbelievable and will send it back to the author, Col. Hall.
24	24	"Miss America"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby, Terry Ryan & Barry Blitzer	February 28, 1956 (1956-02-28)
Bilko's latest money making scheme is the "Sweetheart of the Platoon" contest. Pvt. Irving Fleischman (Maurice Brenner) was the only one to submit a picture. Bilko finds a way to get the other men to also enter. Everyone is stunned when they see a picture of Pvt. Hannigan's sweetheart and how beautiful she is. The men take back their pictures. Bilko sees a future Miss America. Bilko goes to talk to The Editor (Jack Orrison) of the paper that's running the Miss Kansas finals. Bilko has to keep this from Hannigan because he would be against it. Col. Hall tells Bilko to forget about his Miss America plan. Bilko dreams about Hannigan's sweetheart becoming Miss America (Anne Helm) and he's dancing with her. Bilko finds a way to get Hall to change his mind. Word about the contest spreads in the papers. Gen. Merrick from Washington calls Hall and wants the contest shut down. Bilko and the men are already at the contest in Topeka. Josie Hannigan (Judith Lowry) shows up and she's an old woman. Turns out Josie is Hannigan's mother and the picture was taken 40 years ago. Hannigan says his mother is his sweetheart. They still enter Josie and she is a hit.
25	25	"The Court Martial"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	March 6, 1956 (1956-03-06)
Col. Hall wants to set a new record for inducting new recruits into the Army. Captain Barker thinks they can process over 300 recruits in under 2 hours. General Rogers is coming to inspect some of the new men. Recruit Charlie Chapman (Joey Faye) sneaks a chimpanzee into the barracks. Charlie explains to Bilko that he and Zippo are part of a vaudeville act. Charlie's brother was supposed to meet him in town to take Zippo. Zippo somehow gets enlisted as Private Harry Speakup. Bilko tries to get Zippo out of the line but things are moving too quickly. Bilko finally tells Hall about the chimp. But General Rogers swears everyone in and Zippo is in the Army. Rogers wants the records changed but they've already been sent to the Pentagon. Turns out Zippo bit Sgt. Sowici on the finger. They now have the excuse to Court Martial Private Speakup to make everything legal and Bilko will be the chimp's lawyer. Bilko takes his job as defending lawyer a little too seriously. But they come up with a way to discharge Private Speakup.
26	26	"Furlough in New York"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Terry Ryan	March 13, 1956 (1956-03-13)
Sgt. Joan Hogan is going on a 15 day furlough to New York and doesn't want Bilko to know. She tells WAC Edna and Billie that, while she really likes Bilko, it is a good idea to take a break from each other. Turns out that Bilko is doing the exact same thing and doesn't want Joan to find out. They both learn about each other's furlough but avoid mentioning New York. In New York they each hope to rekindle old friendships and romances. But, neither one is having any luck contacting people. Joan does hook up with two old college girlfriends. A woman named Phyllis, who Bilko once stood up, recognizes him and introduces him to her husband, Sam. Sam gives Bilko the number of his secretary. Bilko calls and it is one of Joan's girlfriends. Not knowing who he is, she wants to hook Bilko up with Joan, but they get disconnected. Through a misunderstanding, Bilko winds up in a steam room at the YWCA with Joan. He doesn't see Joan and all the women leave when they see a man in the room. Both Joan and Bilko come back to the base early. Because they wind up with each other's dog tags, they figure out that they were both in the steam room.
27	27	"The Big Uranium Strike"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	March 20, 1956 (1956-03-20)
Bilko is at the local paper trying to put an ad in about an upcoming dance. While there, Bilko hears that uranium was discovered on Mr. Harris' farm, which adjoins Fort Baxter. Bilko tells his men he believes there may be uranium on base property and they'll all be rich. He wants Doberman to walk around the base at night with a geiger counter while on guard duty. Things do not go well and Doberman winds up falling in a creek. Col. Hall is woken up by flares and other noises. Hall sends for Bilko to find out what's going on. While Hall is in another room, Doberman is brought to Hall's house and the geiger counter goes off. It takes some doing, but Bilko finds a way to get Hall and his wife out of the house. Bilko has his men start digging in the basement. The Hall's come home early and Bilko makes up a story about what the men are doing. Bilko learns from Hall that some radioactive clothing was buried under 15 feet of concrete in the basement. There's also an oil pipeline under the house, which the men dug into.
28	28	"Bilko and the Beast"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	March 27, 1956 (1956-03-27)
The men learn that Quenten Q Benton (George Mathews), a new drill sergeant, just transferred to the base. The men figure he won't last long. Benton and his secretary, Corporal Primm (Don Hanmer), arrive. Benton is nicknamed The Beast and he intends to be tough and in charge. Benton takes over Bilko's office. Bilko bets Sowici that Benton will be gone in a week. Bilko insures Benton for $100,000 and makes himself, Barbella and Henshaw the beneficiaries. Primm tells Benton that if something happened to him, Bilko and the others will get the money. Bilko and the men start to do things that worry and frighten Benton. Benton's been in hiding for a week. Col. Hall orders him to take the men out and work them. Bilko gets the Chaplain to say something that frightens Benton even more. Benton and Primm leave the base.
29	29	"The Physical Check Up"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan, Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	April 10, 1956 (1956-04-10)
The platoon is ordered to go on a 20-mile training hike. Bilko has had a rough night. He goes to Col. Hall hoping to come up with an excuse not to go. Despite Hall knowing Bilko is making up an ailment, he excuses Bilko from the hike. Hall mentions that Bilko hasn't been very Army lately and brings up his age. Sgt. Joan Hogan tells Bilko he's scheduled for a physical exam. Bilko is convinced that Hall is trying to get him kicked out of the Army. He decides to get in shape by going on the hike, but he doesn't get far. Bilko then goes to the gym to work out with no success. An attempt to make the doctor think that he can see perfectly without his glasses doesn't work. The doctor tells Hall that he thinks Bilko is losing his mind. Hall thinks Bilko is faking insanity to get out of the Army. Bilko exercises through the night. The next day at his physical, Bilko collapses. The General tells Hall that Bilko is to be on light duty. Bilko should also do relaxing things like playing cards and running dances.
30	30	"The Recruiting Sergeant"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Terry Ryan	April 17, 1956 (1956-04-17)
Bilko gets a hot tip for a horse race in New York from an old Army buddy. He is broke and gets Doberman to take money from the platoon welfare fund. Bilko learns that no one can leave the post while Col. Hall goes to Topeka on an enlistment program. Bilko tricks Hall into taking him with. In Topeka, Bilko tries to find a bookie and talks to Little Pete (Tony Galento). Pete tells Bilko where to go to see Lonesome Sam (Paul Lipson). Hall won't let Bilko leave until he signs up 6 men. Hall then makes the recruits stay with Bilko. Bilko takes the men with on the long list of directions on how to get to the bookies. They finally get to Sam and Bilko places his bet. Recruit Feldman inadvertantly brings to Police to the bookie parlor. Everyone is brought to the Police station. The Chief of Police turns out to be Feldman's father. Bilko finds a way to have everyone released from the police. The recruits and the bookies all enlist in the Army and Bilko gets his money back.
31	31	"Hair"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Terry Ryan, Barry Blitzer & Arnold Auerbach	April 24, 1956 (1956-04-24)
Fort Baxter is having their WAC basketball championship. Joan is upset because Bilko was supposed to take her to the game but he didn't show up. Joan learns that Bilko was playing poker. When Bilko finally shows up, Joan tells him she going out with someone else. She mentions the man's full head of hair, but then apologizes. Bilko goes to see Tony the barber. Tony says he has a new formula for hair restoration. Meanwhile, Sowici, Pendleton and Grover are trying to think of a way to get back at Bilko for winning the poker game. While Bilko is sleeping in the barber chair, Sowici pastes a wig on Bilko's head. Bilko wakes up and he and Tony think the restorer worked. Bilko shows his hair to Joan. When the wig comes off while washing his hair, Bilko realizes a trick has been played on him. And Bilko knows who did it. Bilko tells Tony, who just spent a lot of money buying more chemicals for the restorer. Bilko finds a way to get back at Sowici, Pendleton and Grover and he gets Tony's money back as well.
32	32	"The Con Men"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Tony Webster	May 1, 1956 (1956-05-01)
Doberman receives a check for $500 and everyone wants to be his friend. He wants to give the money to Bilko to invest in a scheme. Bilko is touched but wants Doberman to use the money. Because Doberman dresses like a slob, Bilko thinks he should get new clothes. Bilko sends him to cash the check and then meet him at a hotel lounge. At the lounge, Jean (Sally Mansfield), Steve (Grant Richards) and Chester (Danny Dayton) see Doberman as an easy mark. Steve and Jean claim to be from Doberman's home town. Chester comes by and claims to be from the same town. They are con artists and Doberman loses his money in a poker game. Bilko goes to the lounge intending to con the con artists. The three pull the same scam on Bilko that they used on Doberman, but he's on to them. Bilko wins Doberman's money back and money for the platoon welfare fund. Chester pulls a gun on Bilko. Just then, Bilko's men enter the room and grab the gun. Doberman tells Bilko that he just bought the hotel from the owner for $500. Bilko is afraid Doberman was scammed again.
33	33	"War Games"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Arnold Auerbach	May 8, 1956 (1956-05-08)
Bilko is caught trying to sneak off base. He was supposed to be best man at his friend Harry's wedding. Col. Hall won't let him go as he was to train new recruits. Harry calls and Bilko tells him he'll have to postpone the wedding. Hall says Bilko can go this Friday night. That's the night of the war games bewteen the Army and the National Guard and Hall doesn't want Bilko around. The recruits arrive and Bilko finds a way to not have to personally train them. Hall is going over plans for the war games. It appears Bilko's recruits are the best squad on the base and are supposed to lead the attack. Bilko is told he has to lead his squad. Bilko sneaks out and heads to the wedding. His squad thinks he's heading to the games and follows him. Everyone follows Bilko to the wedding including Hall. It turns out the bride's father is the Captain of the National Guard. Hall captures him and wins the war games. They then finish the wedding.
34	34	"Bilko on Wall St."	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Tony Webster	May 15, 1956 (1956-05-15)
Bilko is to spend a furlough in New York with an old Army buddy, Morgan Twinhasey (Eddie Phillips). Morgan apparently is a Wall Street big shot and a millionaire. When Bilko arrives, he finds out that Morgan is not rich by any means. Morgan is head bookkeeper at an investment firm. He lives in a tiny apartment with his wife Brenda and baby girl, Bermuda. Bilko wants to help Morgan make more money. Bilko shows up at the office of Butterworth, Butterworth and Butterworth Investments where Morgan works. They think he's with Spencer, Hubell and Harris Banking, a firm they want to get an account with. Bilko tells Morgan that he got them to raise his salary to $200 a week. Actually, Butterworth let's Morgan go as they think the other firm wants him and they want to please the firm. Bilko finds a way for the Butterworth's to take Morgan back and at a salary of $250.

Season 2 (1956–57)

No. overall	No. in season	Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date
35	1	"Platoon in the Movies"	Al De Caprio	Story by : Nat Hiken Teleplay by : Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg	September 18, 1956 (1956-09-18)
Lt. Pierson is thinking of using Bilko's men in a Army training film about the maintenance of the spark plug. It will be up to the cameraman and he picks Pvt. Doberman as one of the leads. They'll come by that night and pick one more person. Pierson picks a couple of men, but Bilko makes up something wrong with each of them. Bilko winds up being chosen. The next day, filming starts and Doberman panics. Pierson decides to go to another Army base and will pick up his filming equipment the next day. Bilko wants to shoot his own film. In Washington, General Cobb and his wife are to view the training film. It turns out to be a musical with Doberman as a new spark plug and Bilko as an old plug. The General is angry, but his wife is enjoying the film. He calls Pierson and wants to talk to Bilko. But after something his wife says, the General congratulates Bilko.
36	2	"It's for the Birds"	Al De Caprio	Story by : Nat Hiken Teleplay by : Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	September 25, 1956 (1956-09-25)
Bilko and his men watch a sailor win on 'The $64,000 Question' TV show. He would like to see an Army man on the show. Bilko learns that Cpl. Ed Honnegan (Fred Gwynne) is an expert on birds. Bilko manages to get Honnegan on the show. If he wins, the platoon will split the money. Ed does very well and wins $32,000 and will return next week. But then Honnegan is hit in the head and struck by an unexpected case of amnesia. Bilko comes up with a plan to still win it all. The next week on the show, Bilko is allowed to be in the booth with Honnegan. Pvt. Palmer (P. Jay Sidney) has rigged up a small walkie talkie ear piece for Bilko. The men are back at the hotel room and will try to find the answers. Bilko and Honnegan answer the first several questions correctly. Just before the last answer, the walkie talkie goes bad. Honnegan hits his head again and his knowledge of birds is back. He is able to answer the last question and wins the $64,000. Honnegan tells the Master of Ceremonies that he's going to donate the money to bird watchers clubs. John Gibson as Chaplain.
37	3	"Bilko Goes to College"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg	October 2, 1956 (1956-10-02)
The Dean of Schmill University is reprimanding student Justin Pierce for gambling. Bilko and his men are to give the ROTC unit of the school training in vehicle maintenance. Bilko learns that Justin is the son of a millionaire and he likes to gamble. Justin owes Little Louie (Bern Hoffman) $1000. Thinking Justin might do him a favor one day, Bilko wants to help him. The two go to see Big Ed McMillan (Robert Strauss), head of the local gambling syndicate. McMillan wants the money from Justin. Bilko hopes to get even with McMillan by placing a 1000-1 bet on Schmill's football team to beat the championship team from Notre Dame. Schmill has never scored against Notre Dame. McMillan gladly takes the bet. Bilko uses a little trickery to make the Schmill team sound invincible. McMillan tries to buy his way out of the bet, but Bilko wants much more than what he's offering. After some more trickery, McMillan comes back with the amount Bilko wanted. But Bilko is told that Schmill will actually win and he stands to win $100,000. He turns down McMillan. Schmill loses. Bilko doesn't get any money. McMillan decides to go into another business and he cancels Justin's debt.
38	4	"The Girl from Italy"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	October 9, 1956 (1956-10-09)
Bilko, Henshaw, and Barbella go to New York to see My Fair Lady on Broadway. The show is sold out for 6 months, but Bilko finds a way to get tickets. Barbella is also in town to go to his brother's wedding. He learns that the wedding is off. His brother Angelo just met Rosa when she got off the boat from Italy that morning. It was an old country prearranged wedding and Angelo isn't interested. Bilko and Barbella go to Barbella's house and meet Rosa and her Aunt and Uncle. Inspired by My Fair Lady, Bilko decides to make Rosa more desirable so Angelo will want to marry her. It takes some deceiving and manipulating, but Bilko makes Rosa irresistible. Angelo sees her and is smitten. Bilko pretends to want Rosa to make Angelo jealous. Angelo says he loves Rosa and will marry her.
39	5	"The Face on the Recruiting Poster"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Leonard Stern & Billy Friedberg	October 16, 1956 (1956-10-16)
Pvt. Mike McCluskey (Eric Fleming) is assigned to Bilko's platoon. McCluskey tells Bilko that he's been transferred from base to base because the WACs wind up fighting over him. Bilko thinks he's making it all up. But when Bilko takes McCluskey to the office to check him in, all the WACs do start fawning over him. Bilko sees money to be made making McCluskey a movie star. He takes pictures of Mike and sends them to all the movie studios. They're are all sent back because the pictures were unsolicited. Bilko hopes to get McCluskey's face on the new Army recruiting poster. Bilko talks Col. Hall into helping, but rules say that the men have to take a test on military procedure to get into the competition. Doberman unwittingly winds up being picked as the best-looking soldier on the camp because he scored the highest on the test. Neither Bilko nor Hall can bring himself to talk Doberman out of it. At the Pentagon, when the Captain (Nelson Olmsted) sees Doberman, he sends all the photographers out of the room. They all hope that General Kramer can tell Doberman he's not good looking enough to be on the poster. Kramer looks a lot like Doberman and he wants Doberman on the poster. Bilko finds a way to have Doberman on the poster, but not really seeing his face. Tom Poston as Lieutenant Franklin.
40	6	"Bilko's War Against Culture"	Al De Caprio	Story by : Aaron Ruben and Phil Sharp Teleplay by : Nat Hiken, Aaron Ruben and Phil Sharp	October 23, 1956 (1956-10-23)
Col. Hall learns another special services officer, Lt. Roxberry (Dina Merrill), is being sent to camp. Roxberry is to introduce new cultural programs with the purpose of discouraging gambling. Hall tells Bilko about it. Lt. Roxberry arrives at Hall's office. Hall was expecting a man, but Roxberry is a beautiful woman. Bilko comes by and is also surprised. Roxberry introduces them to her assistant, WAC Corporal Sandberg (Mara McAfee), who is also beautiful. The classes start that evening and Bilko is worried it will interfere with his gambling ventures. Despite promising Bilko they wouldn't, once the men see the beautiful women, they sign up for the classes. Bilko finds a way to get the men to leave the classes. Discouraged, Lt. Roxberry tells Hall that she'll be leaving the camp. Bilko learns that this was Roxberry's first assignment and he feels a little bad. It is not long before Bilko finds a way to covertly incorporate gambling into the cultural classes. Roxberry is very happy and says the men don't need her anymore. The men actually start to like the cultural classes.
41	7	"The Song of the Motor Pool"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Tony Webster and Leonard Stern	October 30, 1956 (1956-10-30)
The Army is putting on a new TV show and is looking for talent. Bilko and his men sing several songs for Captain Buckmaster (David White), the talent scout. He is not impressed. Later, Bilko thinks his motor pool should have its own song. Bilko hears Paparelli (Billy Sands) singing a melody while in the shower. When Paparelli says he made the tune up, Bilko is convinced he's found the song. But Paparelli is having a hard time remembering the tune and only sings it in the shower. Pvt. Palmer hooks up a microphone in the shower and they are able to record the melody. Bilko calls Buckmaster, but he hangs up. Bilko figures Col. Hall will help them if he thinks he wrote the song. They subliminally get the melody into Hall's head. Hall let's Bilko write words to it. Bilko gets Hall to call Buckmaster. The men will go to New York and perform the song on TV. Right before Bilko's men are to perform the song, they learn that the melody is from a Signal Corps song. Terry Carter as Pvt. Sugie Sugarman.
42	8	"Bilko's Engagement"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Tony Webster and Leonard Stern	November 6, 1956 (1956-11-06)
During a poker game, Cpl. Henshaw tells Bilko that he saw Joan in town with Mulligan, a handsome sergeant from administration. Bilko says he's not worried about Joan, but he really is. Bilko confronts Joan when she and Mulligan return to camp. She tells him she's not going to sit around every Saturday night while he plays poker. She says she never wants to see him again. Pvt. Kadowski (Karl Lukas) tells Bilko he had a fight with his girlfriend. He bought a present for her and it is at the jewelers. Bilko sends Doberman to pick up Kadowski's present and gives him money to buy Joan a present. Doberman mixes the packages up and delivers Kadowski's engagement ring to Joan. Joan is thrilled and word quickly spreads around the camp. Joan says that her parents are coming in from out of town. Bilko acts very obnoxious when he meets Joan's parents hoping they won't approve of him. But they're fun loving people and enjoy it. Bilko then acts like a drunk when he meets Joan's Aunt Martha (Philippa Bevans) and Emily. Turns out they're drinkers as well. Bilko wants Burlesque dancer Tessie to pretend to be his Aunt at the reception. But she shows up very dignified. Joan learns the ring wasn't meant for her and the wedding is off.
43	9	"A Mess Sergeant Can't Win"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster, Leonard Stern & Billy Friedberg	November 13, 1956 (1956-11-13)
Bilko and the men learn that Sgt. Rupert B. Ritzik's (Joe E. Ross) time is up and he's not re-enlisting. There will be a going away party for him and everyone chips in some money. Because Ritzik always loses money to Bilko, he's not invited. Bilko goes to see Rupert and is told by his wife Emma (Beatrice Pons) that they're going to open up a diner in Peoria for $400. Bilko wants to help Ritzik by raising another $400 for him. Bilko sells all his possessions and tries to give Ritzik the money. Rupert refuses to take the money thinking there's a catch to it. Bilko now wants to lose the money to Ritzik with a rigged bet. But with Rupert's bad luck, no matter what the bet Bilko always wins. Bilko finally finds a bet that Ritzik wins. Because he believes his luck has changed, Ritzik signs up for four more years. Note: Joe E. Ross and Beatrice Pons would later team up as husband and wife in the sitcom "Car 54, Where Are You?".
44	10	"Doberman's Sister"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Tony Webster and Leonard Stern	November 20, 1956 (1956-11-20)
This coming Saturday is Fort Baxter Day at the camp. It is tradition for the platoon to date each other's sisters. The guys are having a hard time picking their dates. They then learn that Doberman's sister, Diane, is coming this year. Now all the men pick a date. Bilko tricks Pvt. Fielding Zimmerman (Mickey Freeman) into taking Diane. Bilko invents the mythical Musselman's Law, where the uglier the brother is, the more beautiful the sister is. All the men now have dreams about beautiful Diane. After reading a Movie magazine, Bilko has a dream that Diane is a Marilyn Monroe lookalike. Bilko then tricks Zimmerman into taking Joan and Bilko will take Diane. Bilko makes up a story to Joan about why he can't go out with her. Bilko arranges for a quiet candlelit dinner at a local restaurant. Joan catches Bilko at the bus station and knows he's there to pick up another woman. Diane arrives and she looks exactly like Doberman. When Joan sees Diane, she thinks it was kind of Bilko to take her on the date.
45	11	"Where There's a Will"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	November 27, 1956 (1956-11-27)
Bilko and the men say goodbye to Gregory Chickering (Bruce Kirby), who is returning to civilian life. But not before Bilko gets some money out of him. Later, they see in the paper that Chickering's wealthy Uncle passed away and Greg is in the will. At the reading of the will, Greg only get's $1 and a parrot. Attorney Garner (Harry Bannister) believes Greg was cheated out of his inheritance by his devious relatives. Greg calls Bilko for help. Bilko and some of his men head to Detroit and meet up with Greg. The relatives are at the Uncle's mansion. Bilko cooks up a scheme involving a whole host of nefarious characters and a treasure map worth $30 million. They lead the relatives to believe that the parrot holds the secret of the treasure map. Bilko calls Greg and tells him to give the relatives the parrot in exchange for everything they inherited. Back at the base, Greg comes by and says that he kept the parrot because it knows where a fortune is buried. Martha Greenhouse as Esther Reeves.
46	12	"Bilko's Tax Trouble"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Leonard Stern, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	December 4, 1956 (1956-12-04)
Mr. Tom Elliott (Dan Frazer), an investigator for the Bureau of Internal Revenue, is wrapping up cases from 1953. Elliott wants to send a letter of investigation to a Mr. Billings. The secretary accidentally grabs Bilko's file. Bilko receives the letter and goes to Internal Revenue office. Elliott tells Bilko is was a mistake. But when he looks at Bilko's file, Elliott wants to know about the money making dances that Bilko threw and other things. Elliott wants all of Bilko's tax records from that year. Bilko panics and has his men go to extreme lengths with tons of paperwork and the verification of party gifts. He convinces Paparelli that he went to Atlantic City, which he didn't. Bilko tricks Col. Hall into buying himself a loving cup. He has to throw a 1953 New Year's Eve Party for the entire platoon. Bilko winds up cleared by an exhausted Elliot and his team. Alan Hewitt as Mr. Drummond.
47	13	"Mink Incorporated"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	December 11, 1956 (1956-12-11)
Bilko loses $100 from the platoon treasury money that he borrowed. The men want to know what happened to the money. Turns out he lost it betting on a horse. After seeing something in the paper, Bilko decides to set up a mink farm to get the money back. He just needs to get the remaining $300 in the treasury from Doberman to buy some breeding mink. Somehow he talks the men into the idea and they buy two mink. Bilko asks Ritzik to make up some special food for the mink. Now all he has to do is get the mink to breed. Col. Hall brings Gen. Parker in to inspect the kitchen. Hall smells the mink food and gets Parker out of the kitchen. It's been a month and the mink have not bred. One of the mink looks sick. They can't bring a doctor in because they don't want anyone to know about the mink. Bilko has Doberman imitate the symptoms displayed by the mink to Captain Styles, MD. Bilko soon learns he's been conned and was sold non-breeding mink.
48	14	"Sergeant Bilko Presents Ed Sullivan"	Al De Caprio	Story by : Nat Hiken Teleplay by : Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan	December 18, 1956 (1956-12-18)
Ed Sullivan announces that next week his show will feature their annual Army Talent Show. Back at Fort Baxter, the men are auditioning before Special Services Captain Anderson (Charles Cooper). Bilko sings one note and Anderson says thank you and leaves. In New York, Anderson gives Ed the list of the people he's picked from around the country. Ed wants to do a bit with an Army jeep and Anderson says he'll get the Motor Pool Sergeant from Fort Baxter. Bilko gets a telegram saying he's to appear on The Ed Sullivan Show. Bilko arrives at the rehearsals and immediately starts making changes. He thinks he's going to sing in a big musical number on the show. It's not long before Bilko has all of the production team ganging up on Ed Sullivan. Ed confronts Bilko and has him sent back to Fort Baxter. It's the night of the show and Ed announces that it's been changed from an Army show to a Navy one. Somehow Bilko gets on stage. Marlo Lewis as himself. Ray Bloch as himself.
49	15	"Bilko Gets Some Sleep"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg	December 25, 1956 (1956-12-25)
Sgt. Joan Hogan tells Col. Hall that Bilko broke a date with her last night because his uncle died. Joan finds out from Sgt. Ritzik that Bilko was playing poker last night. Joan is very mad at Bilko. That night, no one wants to play poker because they want to sleep. Bilko tries, but he can't fall asleep. Bilko's Conscience tells him he can't sleep because he's always scheming ways to outsmart Hall. His Conscience wants him to be a honest human being again. But then Bilko's Ego (Robert Webber) tells him to keep doing what he's been doing. Bilko tells the camp psychiatrist, Capt. Adams (Nelson Olmsted), that he's having trouble sleeping. Bilko goes into a long rant about all his other problems. Adams suggests he reform his ways. Everyone is surprised by the change in Bilko and thinks he's up to something. Now his men can't sleep because they're wondering what's going on. Bilko sees everyone going to talk to Capt. Adams. Everyone is relieved and happy when Bilko goes back to his old ways.
50	16	"The Blue Blood of Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	January 8, 1957 (1957-01-08)
Biff Bentonhurst (Stephen Douglass) is going to marry Penny Wingate (Ann Flood). Biff is meeting Penny's parents, Holton and Ruma Wingate (Marjorie Gateson). The Wingate's are a Philadelphia blue blood family and they want to know about Biff's family. Penny and Biff work around telling them that Biff's father, Clifton J. Bentonhurst, is a Sergeant in the Army. Clifton tells Bilko about his son marrying into a wealthy family. The Wingate's learn that Clifton is a Sergeant and refuse to invite him to the wedding. Clifton tells Bilko that he's not going to the wedding. Bilko goes to see the Wingates. With a lot of fast double talk, Bilko gets them to insist on Clifton attending the wedding. A General comes by and exposes Bilko as a con man. But the General does find a way for Clifton to still attend the wedding.
51	17	"Love That Guardhouse"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	January 15, 1957 (1957-01-15)
Despite losing at poker to Bilko, Ritzik wants to keep playing. Bilko tells him to stop gambling because he's so bad at it. Mrs. Ritzik wakes Bilko up wondering where Rupert is. Bilko tells her he's not there. Bilko finds out that Ritzik went to Las Vegas. Bilko tries to cover for Ritzik so he doesn't get in trouble. Ritzik comes back and says he won $1,750 in Vegas. Mrs. Ritzik asks Col. Hall to lock him in the guardhouse to keep him away from Bilko. Bilko goes to see Ritzik hoping to be able to play poker with him. The Guard House Lieutenant (Tom Poston) says Ritzik can have no visitors except his wife. Bilko tries a few things to get himself locked up. Hall tells him he's not getting in the guard house. Bilko does finally get arrested, but at the same time, Ritzik is released. Something Ritzik does causes Gen. Davis to arrest him. By the time Hall gets to the guard house, Ritzik has lost his money to Bilko, Sgt. Grover and Sgt. Harry Berch (Frederick O'Neal). The men feel bad and give the money to Mrs. Ritzik. They later learn that Mrs. Ritzik went to Vegas.
52	18	"Sergeant Bilko Presents Bing Crosby"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Aaron Ruben and Phil Sharp	January 22, 1957 (1957-01-22)
Col. Hall tells Bilko there will be no more of his dances and no more use of the recreation hall. Bilko was hoping to raise money to replace the platoon treasury money he lost on a horse. Henshaw suggests that Bilko try and get a star to come to the camp. Bilko cons Bing Crosby's manager into having Bing drop by at Fort Baxter. Hall gives Bilko permission to stage a show and sell tickets. Bilko gets a telegram saying that Bing won't be able to visit after all. Bilko runs into Chester Obermeier, a clerk at the Western Union station, and he looks a lot like Bing. Bilko schemes to pass him off as the real thing. It's the night of the show and Bilko can't find Chester and he has to stall for time. Barbella and Henshaw finally find Chester. Everyone realizes it's not Bing and they want their money back. Just then the real Bing Crosby shows up.
53	19	"Bilko Goes to Monte Carlo"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	January 29, 1957 (1957-01-29)
Bilko has been spending several nights staying up working on something. Everyone is wondering what scheme he is working on to take their money. Emma Ritzik hides Rupert's money. Bilko tells his men that he's discovered a new gambling system to win at roulette. All the men give Bilko money and he winds up with over $5000. Bilko wants to go to Las Vegas but Col. Hall won't let him go. With the help of Air Force Sergeant Bill Henderson (Bern Hoffman), Bilko heads to Monte Carlo. Along the way, Bilko is given various aliases and more money. Bilko finally arrives in Monte Carlo. Once at the casino, Bilko has second thoughts about gambling the men's money. Somehow the Casino Manager (Marcel Hillaire) thinks Bilko lost all his money and is thinking about suicide. The Manager gives Bilko the amount of money he came in with and thinks Bilko is leaving. Bilko gambles away the money that the Manager gave him. Bilko finds another Manager and gets money from him. He looses all that money as well. The first Manager sees that Bilko is still there and kicks him out, but Bilko still has the men's money. Dan Frazer as Jet Pilot.
54	20	"Bilko Enters Politics"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	February 5, 1957 (1957-02-05)
Mayor Burke is running for re-election. Miss Gloria Formby (Margaret Hamilton) complains to Burke that some of the men from Fort Baxter whistled at her. Just then, Bilko comes in and Gloria says Bilko was one of the men. Burke refuses to build a service men center for the men at Fort Baxter. Bilko wants to throw a scare into Burke and run one of his men for mayor. Bilko picks Doberman and they start campaigning. Mr. Donnelly, the chairman of the party, comes to see Burke. Bilko and Doberman also come by. Donnelly agrees to build the service men center if Doberman drops out of the race. But then Bilko realizes that the newpapers and a lot of people are in favor of Doberman. Donnelly panics and starts an aggressive campaign for Burke. Doberman's campaign really takes off. Bilko edits a tape Col. Hall made against Doberman and turns it into praise. Even the Mayor's wife endorses Doberman. At a rally, Doberman says he doesn't want to be mayor and endorses Burke. Donnelly tells Bilko he'll build the center plus a pool if Bilko promises to stay out of politics.
55	21	"Bilko's Television Idea"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	February 12, 1957 (1957-02-12)
Bilko and some of the men are watching Comedian Buddy Bickford's (Danny Dayton) TV show. Meanwhile, Mr. Bigby (Howard Petrie), the Advertising Agency Head, is disappointed with Bickford's ratings. Bigby wants to come up with a new format for the show. One of his assistants suggests an Army character for Bickford. Bilko learns that Bickford will spend a week at Fort Baxter. Bilko knows that Pvt. Art Whitley has been sending script ideas to TV stations. Marsh and Milnik, from the Agency, arrive at the camp. Bilko tries to sell them one of Whitley's show ideas. Bickford shows up and Bilko learns they're doing research for an Army comedy. Bilko tries to convince Bickford that the army comedy is old hat and he's found the perfect vehicle for him. Bickford starts to believe Bilko's idea is funny. In the end, Bickford thinks doing a show about an Army Sergeant that can talk anyone into anything would be funnier. Dagmar as Self. Note: At the time of this episode, Danny Dayton was married to Dagmar.
56	22	"The Son of Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	February 26, 1957 (1957-02-26)
Bilko, Henshaw and Barbella are in New York City. Henshaw and Barbella have dates, but Bilko can't get one. Bilko runs into old friend Harvey Metz (Joe Silver). Harvey recommends Bilko call Peggy La Salle (Collette Lyons), who Bilko once dated. Bilko goes to Peggy's place and meets her husband and her son Jeff. Jeff wants to join the Army. On the train home, Bilko tells Henshaw and Barbella that if he had gotten married back then, he could've had a son like Jeff. Bilko dreams he has a son who's very smart and even becomes the President. 18 Year old Pvt. Perkins is assigned to Bilko's platoon and Bilko learns he's been transferred 14 times. Bilko wants to be a father figure to him. Perkins is a practical joker and his antics soon upset the whole platoon. Bilko sticks up for Perkins. While asleep, Perkins puts a wig and lipstick on Bilko. A General comes by and sees Bilko. The men want to get rid of him. Bilko wants to turn the tables on Perkins and puts his own elaborate practical joke into action. But Perkins gets the last laugh and tricks Bilko twice.
57	23	"Rock 'n' Roll Rookie"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	March 5, 1957 (1957-03-05)
Rock star Elvin Pelvin (Tom Gilson) is drafted into the Army. Elvin is sent to various Army bases, but his fans keep showing up. At the Pentagon, Capt. Williams (Dan Frazer) suggests to the General that they send Elvin to some small isolated base. Williams picks Fort Baxter. Williams tells Col. Hall that because Elvin is also a good mechanic, he'll be put in Bilko's motor pool. Because he's a millionaire, Hall is worried about putting Elvin in with Bilko. The men are surprised and excited when Elvin enters the barracks. Bilko sees dollar signs. He arranges so Elvin doesn't get a standard GI haircut and uniform. Bilko is offered $10,000 for a new Elvin Pelvin recording. Bilko now has to record Elvin singing without him knowing it. Several attempts to record Elvin fail. They finally are able to record Elvin. He sings an original song about his friends in Bilko's platoon. Bilko is so moved that he destroys the recording.
58	24	"Bilko's Black Magic"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Tony Webster & Billy Friedberg	March 19, 1957 (1957-03-19)
World War II veteran Pvt. Lester Mendelsohn (Gerald Hiken) is rescued from a Pacific island after being stranded there for over 10 years. The Army wants to ease him into normal life slowly and sends him to Fort Baxter. He assigned to Bilko's platoon. Bilko doesn't want him, until he learns Lester is due over $7,000 in back-pay. The Army Finance Captain (Dan Frazer) wants Lester to put the money in bonds, but Lester wants the cash. When Lester gets to the barracks, he tells Bilko he already lost all his money to Grover and Ritzik. Lester doesn't care about the money, he just wants friends. Bilko feels bad for him and plans to get the money back. Bilko tells Grover and Ritzik that Lester acquired voodoo powers and can put a curse on anyone who did him an injustice. The two start to panic and Grover spends the night at Ritzik's. They want to give the money back to Lester. But Bilko wants to teach them a lesson. Bilko tells them there's a way to break the curse and gives them an embarrassing list of things to do. Bilko says that didn't work and there now must be a human sacrifice. Ritzik briefly considers his wife Emma. In the end, Lester gets his money back.
59	25	"Bilko Goes South"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Lou Meltzer	March 26, 1957 (1957-03-26)
The Midwest is in the midst of a cold wave. Bilko pretends to be sick so he could get a furlough to go to Florida. Capt. Hedges (Nelson Olmsted) is not falling for it and tells Bilko he's staying in camp. Bilko fantasizes about being in a commercial for sunny Arizona and he's dressed like a cowboy. He then daydreams about being in a commercial for Monte Carlo with a girl named Gina (Tina Louise). Henshaw and Barbella mention that the Army has a singing contest this time of year. They send the best platoon from each camp to Florida for the finals. Meanwhile at a Army Tropical Disease facility, they are studying mosquitoes that carry a fungus fever. Capt. Haybert and Capt. Billings ask General Owens to get some Army volunteers to see if it's fatal to humans. Bilko and his men think they are signing the applications for the singing contest, but it's really for the medical test. The platoon arrives in Miami and is treated like royalty. The next day, they are brought into a room where the mosquitoes will be released. Thinking they are auditioning, the men start singing and the Officers have a hard time letting the mosquitoes go. They finally release a couple and Bilko winds up killing them. They release them all and learn that the fever has no effect on humans. Back at Fort Baxter, General Owens comes by to give them a citation of valor. The men learn about the experiment.
60	26	"Bilko Goes Around the World"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	April 2, 1957 (1957-04-02)
The men went to see the movie Around the World in 80 Days. The men tell Doberman that he looks like David Niven. Bilko brings in USAF Sgt. Mack (Bob Hastings), who Bilko treated to dinner and a movie, to the base. Mack figures Bilko has a furlough coming up and he wants him to fly him somewhere. Bilko admits he has a woman in San Francisco he wants to hook up with. Mack can connect Bilko with several flights that would take him around the world. Bilko calls Movie producer Mike Todd and suggests a competition to promote 'Around The World In 80 Days'. The prize would be $20,000 to anyone who makes it in 80 hours. Todd likes the idea and runs with it. Meanwhile, Bilko is in a mad rush on the phone to plan all the connecting flights. At the airport there is a lot of confusion and a little boy named Sydney is mistakenly taken in Bilko's place. The Mother (Grace Matthews) has the police take Bilko away. Bilko tries to explain about the trip around the world. Sydney wins the competition. Bernard Fox as Agent in Trinidad. Dennis Patrick as Publicity for Mike Todd.
61	27	"The Mess Hall Mess"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan	April 9, 1957 (1957-04-09)
Sgt. Ritzik has been experimenting with different meals and no one likes them. Ritzik tells Bilko he's been doing this because there's a contest for the best original American recipe & a $50,000 prize. Bilko, Ritzik and Grover go to a French restaurant in town. They each have the casserole and it's great. Bilko wants to enter it in the contest. Chef Boudreaux won't give the secret recipe to Bilko. Bilko brings a sample to Lab Tech Charlie (Sandy Kenyon) to have it analyzed, but gets no results. Bilko pretends to save Boudreaux from Ritzik and Grover, who are dressed as robbers, but Boudreaux still won't reveal the recipe. Bilko finds a way to trick Boudreaux into giving him the recipe. But the so-called secret recipe was actually in the Army cookbook all along. Bilko helps Boudreaux make his restaurant one of the busiest in town. Nicholas Saunders as Captain Barker.
62	28	"The Secret Life of Sergeant Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	April 16, 1957 (1957-04-16)
Reporter Ray Barker (Philip Coolidge) claims to be exposing many security leaks in the Army. At the Pentagon, Gen. Horner calls Editor Harry Sims (Otto Hulett) and tells him to stop Barker from printing lies. Sims does tell Barker that he has to find real leaks and not make things up. Barker decides to go to Fort Baxter and bribe men to give away Army secrets. He finds a restaurant where Bilko and his men are. Papparelli recognizes Barker as the reporter writing phony stories about the Army. Bilko sees money to be made and will make up things to tell Barker. Bilko pretends to sneak Barker into their barracks. The men then proceed to scam Barker by showing him lots of supposed 'top-secret' documents. They take Barker for a lot of money. Sims calls Barker and tells him all the documents he sent were fake. Bilko overhears the call and proceeds to pull another scam. Barker know believes that Bilko and his men are conspiring to overthrow the government. He tells this to Col. Hall. Bilko tricks Barker into thinking Hall is in charge of their sabatoge plot. Bilko finds a way to get Sims arrested. In the end, they get Barker to write a flattering article about Fort Baxter. Henry Lascoe as Restaurant Owner Adamopolis.
63	29	"Radio Station B.I.L.K.O."	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan	April 23, 1957 (1957-04-23)
Bilko, Henshaw and Barbella go to the local radio station. Mr. Nieman, the Manager, agrees to run a plug for Bilko's next dance. Nieman tells Bilko that the station is closing down tomorrow night. Bilko wants to start a radio station because there are still local sponsors. Bilko asks Grover to use the camp's radio room. Bilko, Henshaw and Barbella then sign up local businesses to advertise. Bilko and the men begin broadcasting various programs. Brig. General Cummings (Frank M. Thomas) comes to inspect the base. Bilko has to do some running around to hide the radio broadcasting from him. Barbella tells Bilko that the sponsors have cancelled everything. Bilko has one more program to run called 'John's Original Wife'. As Col. Hall will be out playing cards that evening, they will broadcast from his house. Hall and his wife unexpectedly come back home. A microphone is left switched on and Hall and his wife arguing is being broadcast. Bilko learns from Barbella that all of Roseville are hooked on 'John's Original Wife'. The sponsor that payed for a spot on that show wants it to continue. Bilko finds a way to end the program.
64	30	"Bilko the Marriage Broker"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg, Coleman Jacoby, Arnie Rosen & Terry Ryan	April 30, 1957 (1957-04-30)
Bilko tries to get an Army efficiency expert interested in a girl.
65	31	"Bilko Acres"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	May 7, 1957 (1957-05-07)
Bilko gets into the real-estate business when he finds out Fort Baxter will be deserted.
66	32	"The Big Scandal"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Tony Webster	May 14, 1957 (1957-05-14)
Doberman thinks he's fallen for Col. Hall's wife.
67	33	"Bilko's Perfect Day"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken, Billy Friedberg & Terry Ryan	May 21, 1957 (1957-05-21)
Bilko feels lucky until he decides to cash in on his good luck.
68	34	"The Colonel Breaks Par"	Al De Caprio	Sydney Zelinka, A.J. Russell, Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	May 28, 1957 (1957-05-28)
Sam Snead helps Bilko talk Col. Hall into entering a golf tournament.
69	35	"Show Segments"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	June 4, 1957 (1957-06-04)
Phil Silvers and crew review segments cut from the show.
70	36	"His Highness Doberman"	Al De Caprio	A.J. Russell, Sydney Zelinka & Billy Friedberg	June 11, 1957 (1957-06-11)
Doberman falls for an heiress whose parents are given the royal treatment courtesy of Sgt. Bilko.

Season 3 (1957–58)

No. overall	No. in season	Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date
71	1	"Bilko's Merry Widow"	Al De Caprio	Nat Hiken & Billy Friedberg	September 17, 1957 (1957-09-17)
Bilko puts on a production of The Merry Widow for Roseville, Kansas.
72	2	"Bilko's Boy's Town"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	September 24, 1957 (1957-09-24)
Bilko starts a boys' camp at Fort Baxter.
73	3	"Hillbilly Whiz"	Al De Caprio	Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	October 1, 1957 (1957-10-01)
Bilko tries to sell his new recruit to a baseball team.
74	4	"Bilko's Valentine"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	October 8, 1957 (1957-10-08)
To get back at Bilko for forgetting her on Valentine's Day, Joan quits the Army and heads for home.
75	5	"The Big Man Hunt"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	October 15, 1957 (1957-10-15)
An ex-GI is looking for the man who saved his life in World War II -- and Bilko thinks he's the one.
76	6	"Bilko's Double Life"	Al De Caprio	A.J. Russell and Sydney Zelinka	October 22, 1957 (1957-10-22)
Bilko is mistaken for a millionaire while he's in New York on furlough.
77	7	"Sergeant Bilko Presents"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	October 29, 1957 (1957-10-29)
A playwright-recruit gives Bilko the idea of producing a Broadway show.
78	8	"Papa Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Sydney Zelinka & A.J. Russell	November 5, 1957 (1957-11-05)
A French girl comes to Fort Baxter and calls Bilko "Papa".
79	9	"Bilko Talks in His Sleep"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	November 19, 1957 (1957-11-19)
Bilko unwittingly gives away money while talking in his sleep.
80	10	"Cherokee Ernie"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby, Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	November 26, 1957 (1957-11-26)
Bilko nearly gives the Indians back Oklahoma.
81	11	"Bilko Buys a Club"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	December 3, 1957 (1957-12-03)
Bilko starts a nightclub to raise money.
82	12	"Lieutenant Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Sydney Zelinka & A.J. Russell	December 10, 1957 (1957-12-10)
Bilko decides to leave the army until he learns he was promoted to lieutenant during World War II and sets out to collect his back pay.
83	13	"Bilko at Bay"	Al De Caprio	A.J. Russell, Sydney Zelinka & Terry Ryan	December 17, 1957 (1957-12-17)
Bilko, Henshaw and Rocco are held hostage by bank robbers.
84	14	"Bilko F.O.B. Detroit"	Al De Caprio	Sydney Zelinka & A.J. Russell	December 24, 1957 (1957-12-24)
Bilko and his men are sent to Detroit to pick up a load of trucks.
85	15	"Bilko and the Flying Saucers"	Al De Caprio	Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	December 31, 1957 (1957-12-31)
Bilko claims to have seen flying saucers.
86	16	"Bilko and the Colonel's Secretary"	Al De Caprio	Sydney Zelinka, A.J. Russell, Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	January 7, 1958 (1958-01-07)
Col. Hall's secretary gives Bilko and his men the worst assignments.
87	17	"Doberman the Crooner"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp, Terry Ryan & Vincent Bogert	January 14, 1958 (1958-01-14)
Bilko's latest scheme involves Doberman's singing, but Doberman is only a good crooner when he's sick.
88	18	"Bilko Presents Kay Kendall"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	January 21, 1958 (1958-01-21)
Bilko talks Kay Kendall into performing for his men.
89	19	"Bilko's Cousin"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	January 28, 1958 (1958-01-28)
Bilko hatches a scheme to make his dim-witted cousin look good.
90	20	"Bilko's Pigeons"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	February 4, 1958 (1958-02-04)
Bilko uses carrier pigeons as racing birds to make money.
91	21	"Cyrano de Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	February 14, 1958 (1958-02-14)
Bilko suspects that one of his recruits is being duped by an older woman.
92	22	"The Colonel's Reunion"	Al De Caprio	Coleman Jacoby & Arnie Rosen	February 21, 1958 (1958-02-21)
A conflict ensues between Bilko and Col. Hall, who's come up with another effort to stop the gambling.
93	23	"Bilko Saves Ritzik's Marriage"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	February 28, 1958 (1958-02-28)
Bilko becomes a marriage counselor when Ritzik and his wife fight over a card game.
94	24	"Bilko, the Art Lover"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	March 7, 1958 (1958-03-07)
An old Army buddy of Bilko's (Alan Alda in his television debut) aspires to be a Bohemian artist.
95	25	"Bilko, the Genius"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby, Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	March 14, 1958 (1958-03-14)
Bilko teaches Army scientists the art of a sure-fire gambling system.
96	26	"Bilko the Male Model"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	March 21, 1958 (1958-03-21)
Bilko is offered a modeling job.
97	27	"The Colonel's Inheritance"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp, Terry Ryan and Paul Jordan	April 4, 1958 (1958-04-04)
Bilko invests Col. Hall's inheritance money in a stock tip that plunges.
98	28	"Bilko's Honeymoon"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	April 11, 1958 (1958-04-11)
Bilko and Paparelli dress as newlyweds to win a free vacation in Miami.
99	29	"Bilko's Chinese Restaurant"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	April 25, 1958 (1958-04-25)
Bilko starts a Chinese restaurant business.
100	30	"Operation Love"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby & Terry Ryan	May 2, 1958 (1958-05-02)
Bilko begins a campaign to bring WACs to Fort Baxter.
101	31	"Bilko's TV Pilot"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	May 9, 1958 (1958-05-09)
Bilko produces a pilot for a TV show.
102	32	"Bilko Retires from Gambling"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	May 16, 1958 (1958-05-16)
Col. Hall uses a card expert to trick Bilko into thinking he's gotten bad at gambling.
103	33	"Bilko's Vacation"	Al De Caprio	Terry Ryan & Neil Simon	May 23, 1958 (1958-05-23)
Bilko tries to convince his platoon to vacation at Dimmeldorf Lodge since he'll get a free week there.
104	34	"Bilko's Insurance Company"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	May 30, 1958 (1958-05-30)
Bilko starts an insurance business that also offers maternity benefits.
105	35	"Bilko's Prize Poodle"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	June 6, 1958 (1958-06-06)
Bilko enters a poodle in a dog show to win $10,000.
106	36	"Bilko's School Days"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	June 13, 1958 (1958-06-13)
Bilko hopes to make money of a training school being planned at Fort Baxter.
107	37	"Joan's Big Romance"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	June 27, 1958 (1958-06-27)
Joan has a picture taken of her with a millionaire to get back at Bilko for choosing poker over her.

Season 4 (1958–59)

No. overall	No. in season	Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date
108	1	"Gold Fever"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	September 26, 1958 (1958-09-26)
Bilko plots to have his platoon transferred to the site of a gold mine.
109	2	"Bilko's Vampire"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	October 3, 1958 (1958-10-03)
Ritzik is too addicted to horror movies on TV to focus on poker games.
110	3	"Bilko's De Luxe Tours"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	October 10, 1958 (1958-10-10)
Bilko organizes Hollywood tours and guarantees meetings with movie stars.
111	4	"Bilko the Potato Sack King"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	October 17, 1958 (1958-10-17)
Bilko tries to convince the Army that the million burlap bags can be useful.
112	5	"Bilko vs. Covington"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon, Terry Ryan & Arnie Rosen	October 24, 1958 (1958-10-24)
A visiting sergeant challenges Bilko's gambling business.
113	6	"Bilko Joins the Navy"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	October 31, 1958 (1958-10-31)
Bilko, Paparelli and Zimmerman pretend to be sailors to get into a dice game.
114	7	"Bilko's Big Woman Hunt"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	November 7, 1958 (1958-11-07)
Bilko falls for a dancing teacher.
115	8	"Bilko and the Crosbys"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	November 14, 1958 (1958-11-14)
Bing Crosby's son Lindsay joins the army, leading Bilko to wonder what life would be like if he were head of the Crosby clan.
116	9	"Bilko's Allergy"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	November 21, 1958 (1958-11-21)
Bilko develops an allergy to playing cards.
117	10	"Bilko and the Chaplain"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	November 28, 1958 (1958-11-28)
Col. Hall assigns a chaplain to the platoon in order to keep Bilko and his men in line.
118	11	"Bilko Presents the McGuire Sisters"	Al De Caprio	Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan	December 5, 1958 (1958-12-05)
Bilko plots to make money off managing the McGuire Sisters. Note: Features an uncredited appearance by Maude/The Golden Girls star Bea Arthur and Mickey Rooney.
119	12	"Bilko's Secret Mission"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	December 12, 1958 (1958-12-12)
Bilko and Ritzik end up in Las Vegas on a secret mission in Nevada.
120	13	"Bilko's Giveaway"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	December 19, 1958 (1958-12-19)
Bilko wins a lot of merchandise on a quiz show, then tries to sell it on his own giveaway program.
121	14	"Bilko and the Medium"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	December 26, 1958 (1958-12-26)
Bilko uses a medium to get Ritzik's money.
122	15	"Bilko's Bopster"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	January 2, 1959 (1959-01-02)
Bilko learns that his new recruit is a famous bandleader.
123	16	"Bilko's Hollywood Romance"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	January 9, 1959 (1959-01-09)
Bilko becomes part of a press agent's scheme to fix a movie star up with a "simple" soldier.
124	17	"Bilko's Grand Hotel"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	January 30, 1959 (1959-01-30)
Bilko purchases a rundown hotel in the hope that a famous chain will buy him out.
125	18	"Bilko's Credit Card"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	February 6, 1959 (1959-02-06)
Bilko starts a credit card club for the Camp Fremont service personnel.
126	19	"Viva Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	February 13, 1959 (1959-02-13)
Bilko and his men vacation in Mexico where they have trouble with the language and the law.
127	20	"The Colonel's Promotion"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	February 20, 1959 (1959-02-20)
When Col. Hall misses out on a promotion, Bilko talks him into complaining to the President.
128	21	"Bilko's Sharpshooter"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	February 27, 1959 (1959-02-27)
Bilko's latest scheme involves a sharpshooting WAC.
129	22	"Bilko's Formula Seven"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	March 6, 1959 (1959-03-06)
Bilko believes that a mixture of applejack juice and crankshaft oil will make a fortune as the next best cosmetic product.
130	23	"Bilko's Ape Man"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	March 20, 1959 (1959-03-20)
Bilko attempts to make Private Forbes a star by casting him in an ape picture. Features an uncredited appearance by Lucille Ball.
131	24	"Warrant Officer Paparelli"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	March 27, 1959 (1959-03-27)
Bilko promotes Paparelli to warrant officer.
132	25	"Bilko's Godson"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	April 3, 1959 (1959-04-03)
Bilko becomes godfather to a baby boy -- and begins planning the infant's future.
133	26	"Guinea Pig Bilko"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	April 17, 1959 (1959-04-17)
Col. Hall tricks Bilko into being a test subject for a new tranquilizer.
134	27	"Bilko, the Butler"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	April 24, 1959 (1959-04-24)
Bilko worms his way into a society dinner dressed as a butler.
135	28	"Ritzik Goes Civilian"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	May 1, 1959 (1959-05-01)
After Ritzik's wife talks him into leaving the army, they lose their life savings to swindlers for their newly opened diner, so Bilko tries to help them get it back.
136	29	"Bilko's Small Car"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	May 8, 1959 (1959-05-08)
Bilko uses Col. Hall's new car to transport gambling equipment, but when the police impound the car, Bilko must replace it.
137	30	"Doberman: Missing Heir"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	May 15, 1959 (1959-05-15)
When Doberman is discovered to be the long-lost heir to a British fortune, Bilko schemes to receive his cut of the dough.
138	31	"Bilko's Casino"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	May 22, 1959 (1959-05-22)
Bilko converts USO headquarters into a casino.
139	32	"The Colonel's Second Honeymoon"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	May 29, 1959 (1959-05-29)
For his vacation, Bilko picks the same location where Col. Hall is on his second honeymoon.
140	33	"Bilko in Outer Space"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	June 5, 1959 (1959-06-05)
Bilko tricks Ritzik and Grover into taking a space endurance test before winning $600 from them in a poker game.
141	34	"The Bilko Boycott"	Al De Caprio	Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby	June 12, 1959 (1959-06-12)
Bilko concentrates his gambling efforts on the WACs when Henshaw sets up a Gamblers' Anonymous club.
142	35	"Weekend Colonel"	Al De Caprio	Neil Simon & Terry Ryan	June 19, 1959 (1959-06-19)
Someone resembling Col. Hall turns the officers' club into a casino while the real Col. Hall is on a weekend break with his wife.

Special (1959)

Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date
"The Phil Silvers Pontiac Special: Keep in Step"	Al De Caprio	Unknown	January 23, 1959 (1959-01-23)
In this hour-long special, Bilko stages a musical celebration of silver screen beauties entitled Bilko's Brevities.

External links

• The British Phil Silvers Appreciation Society
• The Phil Silvers Show at IMDb