Draft talk:Allan Wernick

Formal, neutral encyclopedic tone?

Hello @Bonadea, thank you for reviewing this article. Can you provide more insight into where the article lacks formal, neutral encyclopedic tone? Thank you! Wil540 art (talk) 15:45, 14 November 2022 (UTC)

@Wil540 art: Almost the entire draft, in fact. There are a couple of purely factual sentences, but the majority of the text is written in a promotional tone, and some of it is in fact a very close paraphrasing of texts published by CUNY Citizenship Now. For instance, the draft currently says CUNY Citizenship Now hosts an annual volunteer in-person event that provides free, high quality, and confidential immigration law services to help individuals and families on their path to U.S. Citizenship , sourced to this advert which says "CUN Citizenship Now provides free, high quality, and confidential immigration law services to help individuals and families on their path the U.S."[sic]. The following sentence, CUNY Citizenship Now has helped thousands of immigrants and new Americans obtain their U.S. citizenship, is sourced to this press release published at cuny.edu, which says "...an organization that has helped thousands of immigrants and new Americans obtain their U.S. citizenship over the past quarter century." So there are copyright problems as well as promotional text. As an aside, even though the draft has all these details about the organisation he founded, there is quite a bit of basic information about Warnick himself that's missing – for instance the fact that he works at City University of New York! Hope this makes sense, --bonadea contributions talk 18:40, 14 November 2022 (UTC)

Hello @Bonadea! Thanks for the insight and thoughtful reply. I've put more work into the article to address the issues you brought up. Could you take another look and give me your 2 cents?? Thank you - Wil540 art (talk) 17:06, 3 January 2023 (UTC)