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Moto Racer Advance

[edit]

I have nominated this article for peer review because I need outside eyes to look it over as I've been the only editor to ever edit it. I'm attempting to work the article up to GA status. The only coverage outside of the review of the game is coming from IGN (hence the short development section); the developer is now defunct and there's no information at all on the publisher's website. I'm interested in any feedback any editor has on this article from prose to sources to, well anything. -- Nomader (Talk) 05:24, 27 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments, nothing of real importance

  • Your infobox is of poor quality and has noise all over it. I can upload a better image without the noise using the same source, but it will be PNG format which means a file size of 135kb instead of 19kb.
  • Maybe add a "see also" section with a couple of links. Not very helpful, i know, but its a start, Salavat (talk) 14:44, 30 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I added an external links section... not really sure why I left that out at first. By all means, feel free to upload a new cover image; that cover is the European box art, not the North American version -- if you want to replace it, it'd be wonderful. -- Nomader (Talk) 17:35, 30 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done, kept the European version per guidelines. Salavat (talk) 08:49, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Much obliged. -- Nomader (Talk) 22:32, 1 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Curious, do you know if there could be anymore development information? - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 08:36, 12 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Review by MuZemike

[edit]
Lead
  • Expand on the lead a little bit. Consider adding another paragraph in there. Read Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Newsletter/20080409 for some good guidelines for leads for video game articles.
  • Make sure you italicize game names, such as Moto Racer.
  • Also, per WP:LEAD, it is not necessary to provide inline citations for factual information that is already mentioned somewhere else in the article. The inline citations in the second paragraph could be removed, since that is already covered in the Reception section.
Infobox
  • For the image, if it's a Ubisoft image, you need to use the {{Attribution-Ubisoft}} license template; I have changed that for you.
  • Try to reduce the file size of the image (not the physical size, but file size) if you can, as 136KB is very large. I like to use PNGGauntlet to cut down on file size of PNGs. Also try reducing the resolution to 256-color if necessary. In a nutshell, the file size needs to be small to fully comply with WP:NFCC#3.
  • I have also modified the fair-use rationale of the image so that it better complies with WP:NFCC#8. The {{vgrationale}} is good as a start when uploading an image, but in order to fully comply with the policy, you have to be more specific as to how the image is being used in the article and what it is accomplishing. (I will refer to this bullet frequently with the other images in the article, as this also applies.)
  • I would recommend removing the inline citations in the infobox and mention who developed and published the game as well as when it was released in the Development section.
Gameplay
  • Be sure to wikilink important terms used the first time in an article, and avoid using abbreviations right off the bat. For example, readers may not know what GP stands for (could it be Gold Pieces, Gay Pride, GamePro); spell it out right there by saying "Grand Prix (GP)."
  • "Motocross requires the player on off-road terrain, and requires the player to master the act of "powersliding" on corners." — I think you're missing something in that sentence, especially in the first part. Also, explain what "powersliding" is for those who do not understand (not all of us played Super Mario Kart to understand that term religiously. ;) )
  • Avoid using colloquial peacock terms like "wraps" (2nd paragraph) and use more professional wording such as "combines."
  • "Moto Racer Advance is rare, in that it..." — watch the comma splices.
  • I would consider combining all three paragraphs into one. There are seven sentences total in that section. A rule of thumb is to avoid writing paragraphs of three or fewer sentences.
  • Make sure in multiple references that you have a space between the right quote and the slash (i.e. <ref name="IGN" /> instead of <ref name="IGN"/>). Since Wikipedia uses XHTML, the latter does not validate the code; the former does.
Development
  • It seems like most of the first paragraph in this section belongs in the Reception section rather than here. I'd recommend moving it down there.
Reception
  • You mention twice that GameSpy, IGN, and GamePro awarded Editor's Choice Awards to the game. Remove one of them.
  • Use the names of the reviewers that reviewed the game rather than the publisher. For example, "XYZ from GameZone stated that..." instead of "GameZone stated that..." You did a good job doing that with IGN and Craig Harris; just repeat that for the others.
  • "Most criticisms were directed towards the sound in the game, to which critics had a mixed response." — I would rewrite that sentence. Start by eliminating the passive voice and replacing with active voice.
Other things
  • Try to get some more external links in there if you can. Make sure they comply with WP:EL as well as at WP:VG/EL
  • Use {{citation}} templates in all your references. That helps standardize all the references at the bottom and "puts them in a neat little row," figuratively.
Final remarks
  • It looks good, so far. Just the small things that I have mentioned above. With the exception of a few spots here and there, the prose looks OK. Just tighten up the prose a little more and make sure everything is where they should be. Don't forget about the citation tags, as those are important especially when the article goes up the ladder to GA and FA.

MuZemike 19:07, 16 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a bunch for the review; I'm sorry that it took me so long to get back to this, but I've been out for the past few days. I'll start to implement your comments tonight. -- Nomader (Talk) 20:35, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Noj_R

Lead

  • Like others have said, expand the lead. For example, include a bit about the gameplay.

Gameplay

  • "requires the player on off-road terrain" - Huh?
  • requires requires. Remove the redundancy by choosing a different word.
  • "Moto Racer Advance is rare" - Is this what the ref says? If not, it is POV and must be reworded.
  • Expand the section. It talks about game modes, but not actual gameplay. Write about actual gameplay and cite the game's manual. This one should be easy.

Development

Reception

  • "it received 86% and 83%" - This is already stated in the infobox. Resolvee the redundancy by removing the scores from the text.
  • Expand this section. You haven't even used the Allgame review! Five reviews is an adequate amount to write a decent sized review section.

Conclusion

Refs look good. Basically getting more information about the game is your biggest problem. Visit those talk pages I mentioned and request some help from your fellow wikipedians. They might be able to locate some information for you. Improving obxcure game articles is difficult and I thank you for it. I hope you find this review helpful and look forward to reading this article in the future. Cheers, -- Noj r (talk) 05:06, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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