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Battle of Es Sinn

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I was hoping to get this peer reviewed. This is the first peer review request for this article (and my first one from scratch). Please review. --HistorianBell 01:35, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

YellowMonkey

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  • Firstly there is a lack of context in some of the article contents. The lead doesn't state anything about this being part of WWI, and the background doesn't explain why or how the Indian Army ended up in the Middle East in the first place
    • That has been changed by myself and others. --HistorianBell 11:36, 7 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Secondly there seem to quite a few references to an autobiography? by the British general involved in this action, who is not an impartial source, and the presence of many primary sources, simply taking soldier testimonies to be true.
    • There are, but then there is not a great amount published about this campaign in general and the battles in particular. I use, in addition to Townshend's autobiography (very self serving) Barker's book on Mesopotamian Campaign (pretty much the standard for the subject until recently. The new book came out recently and I have not managed to snag a copy. Then there is Mobberly's official history, Paul Davis' book - though that is mostly about the relief effort-, and Wilson's book on the campaign (though that is also a bit self serving because of what happens to him after the war). Other books refer to it, but few give it more than a passing mention with no real details. As there is really one good book from the Turkish perspective in English (Erickson's, unless I've missed something else), I'll need to wait for a Turkish speaker to fill in more of the blanks from that POV (I really wish I could give more but the translations of the German officers don't deal with this period since it was before von der Goltz arrives to take over with his team). If anyone can point me to anything I've missed that would be a good source, I'm more than happy to incorporate it. --HistorianBell 11:36, 7 September 2009 (UTC)
  • Some paragraphs are not cited at all, and the article needs categories YellowMonkey (bananabucket) 02:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the process of fixing that. Most are now referenced and someone else kindly corrected my error of not putting categories in. I've also listed a number of sources for the article. Also, sorry if some of my response comes back as snippy or defensive, Not trying to be. Just trying to explain a little of why I went to the sources I went with. --HistorianBell 11:36, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

Abraham, B.S.

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Just some general points, primarily regarding MoS:

  • Per the Manual of Style, "The" should not be used to start level headings.
    • changes made --HistorianBell 06:56, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
  • Only proper nouns or the first word in level headings should be capitalised.
    • changes made --HistorianBell 06:56, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
  • Endashes should be utilised in date ranges in the article, and page ranges used in citations.
    • changes made (think I caught them all) --HistorianBell 06:56, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
  • The tables in the "Orders of Battle" section seriously need some fixing up.
    • fixed (unless there is a suggestion of doing it a different way)--HistorianBell 06:56, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Cheers, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 04:41, 30 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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