Wikipedia:Peer review/Kotoko (singer)/archive1

Kotoko (singer)

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This is similar to my old peer review for Mami Kawada, except this article has more potential to become C-class. This article is about Kotoko ~~Horikawa^{[citation needed]}~~, who is actually a good friend of Kawada and was once part of the same production group, although she's way more prolific and popular. However, her article's a little too short for me, so are there any suggestions as to how it can still be improved? Unlike Kawada, there's plenty of sources that talk about at least part of Kotoko's early life, although like other I've singers, such info is still lacking. Similar to Kawada's article, my goal is for it to reach C-class, although in my opinion it's easier since more sources are available; with her popularity, and with a little help, B or even GA-class is possible. Still, any input and feedback, as well as additional sources, are appreciated. Thanks. Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 10:28, 28 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

In the biography section, is the second and third paragraph in a decent order? It looks like the second paragraph talks about her works when she was signed onto I've Sound, then jumps back in time to before she was signed. Some the wording seems iffy to me. Why was her North American debut a success? The sentence "Now that her self-composed hybrid of pop and techno beats—sometimes pop—have crossed the Pacific, her lyrics have elevated her presence among thousands of North American J-pop/anime fans." seems like O.R. DragonZero (Talk · Contribs) 05:56, 2 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

If I recall, I did find a source which said that her music was becoming popular in the US, but I can't remember where. As for that sentence you said, I do agree that that is rather odd and I was thinking of removing it anyway. For now, I'll remove that sentence. Anyway, would it be a good idea to merge those two paragraphs you speak of? It wouldn't be too difficult to change the order anyway. Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 07:15, 2 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]