Wikipedia:Peer review/Cal Ripken, Jr./archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am hoping to get it to featured article status. Suggestions are welcome.
Thanks, Oriolesfan8 (talk) 12:21, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
Comments by Canada Hky (talk) 15:37, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
- Is there a reason for the divisions in the article for his playing career? This results in a lot of choppiness, particularly when talking about his family, or his consecutive games streak. It might be worth having a playing career section which summarizes his Orioles career, and then a section about his family, and one about the streak. If you don't want to do this, I would prune some of the detail about the individual seasons.
- There are a lot of uncontroversial statements that are cited to multiple references. Is this strictly needed? For opinions or controversial statements, more refs are needed, but for simple statements, sometimes decluttering is helpful.
- Ryan choosing not to play for the Orioles didn't really extend the family's legacy with the team. The use of "extends" makes it sound as though it were ongoing, rather than the current situation.
- Some of the material used borders on the trivial, rather than encyclopedic. There is extensive detail about his Kentucky Derby bet, and in some cases individual games.
- There is some jargon that likely won't get through FAR - "really heated up".