User talk:Wasitchua/sandbox
Hi Wasit! Great job so far with this draft. Your sections on the life cycle and niche of this species really beef up the original Wikipedia article, as do the additional details you provide on its predators. Some feedback on your current draft: under the life cycle section, you mention that the Atlantic Sea Nettle will go through physical form changes "typical of other jellyfish." I'd assume that the reader isn't sure what the stages of the jelly fish life cycle are, and briefly summarize these. Under the niche section, you mention that population sizes of this species increase and decrease in response to changes in sea water temperature, but you don't specifically describe the range of temperature suitable to this species. I think more detail on this would clarify the purpose for which, for instance, the medusae sink to lower depths of the ocean as water temperatures decrease. I would also consider removing the term "dramatically" when you say that the nutrients necessary for other aquatic life "dramatically increase" after decomposition in the ocean's floor via bacterium. Under the predators section, I think it could be helpful if you mention where the stinging cnidocytes are located anatomically. Finally, when you mention that in some parts of the world, humans consume jellyfish and can be considered a predator--are you referring to parts of the world where this species exists? Do you know if this species of jellyfish is consumed by humans? I would remove this sentence if it doesn't refer specifically to this species of jellyfish. Overall, really promising draft! Mauramk (talk) 03:28, 14 November 2016 (UTC)
Great job on the article draft! I think expansion on the word “seasonal changes” would be great especially when you talked about the life cycle of the organism. There is a lot of repetition of the word “Atlantic Sea Nettle.” Maybe taking some out and replacing them with pronouns will also be a good addition so that it isnt too repetitive. In the predator section, it would be good if you mention what some of the predators have that makes them immune to the cnidocytes or how that predator evades the cnidocytes. The article focuses too much on Maryland, I don’t know if that would be too specific but general information about the species and some of its effects would also be good. It doesn’t have to necessarily be the effect of the species in MD only. So maybe include what this organism is doing in other parts of the world; i think that will make it more neutral but overall the article was good! Nana
Draft Feedback
[edit]Wasit, this article addition looks very good. Your writing is very clear, and you have also organized this work in a very clear manner. I especially like the additional sections you have added to this article, and it looks like you have really found some interesting information on this species.
One overall suggestion I would give you is to link key words in this draft to other Wikipedia articles - e.g., "polyp," "Chesapeake Bay," "ctenophores". Also, I am curious about ways to add even more depth to this article draft. For example, in your Life Cycle section, what adaptations allow this species to thrive in low oxygen conditions? Also, given what you say about nutrient cycling, how long do members of this species live? Under the section "Niche," your second paragraph could use increased depth and thus clarity. Under your Predators section, the material you have here sounds very similar to what is currently in this article - how will you mesh what you have here with what is in the article? Also, it would be interesting if you talked more about consumption of this species (is this particular species consumed?) - would this be an interesting additional section to add to the article addition? But, overall, this looks very good! Rhirshorn (talk) 02:39, 24 November 2016 (UTC)
Response to Feedback
[edit]Thank you for the generous feedback by both of you.
I plan to continue expanding on the defense mechanisms of the atlantic sea nettle, specifically the toxicity of its venomous sting. I would like to continue adding more detail to the predators of the atlantic sea nettle, specifically commenting on the ecological effects currently affecting the atlantic sea nettle population. Specifically, the decreased abundance of predators have caused an excessive population boom. I will continue to expand on the sea nettle's niche within the ecology of the chesapeake bay, detailing and clarifying specific details. Finally, I will refine the structure, flow, and grammar of all the sections.