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Talk:Sonia Andrade

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Comments

[edit]

I'm an online ambassador for your WMST 250: Women, Art, and Culture (2014 Q3) class and have just stopped by to provide a quick review and add what I hope will be helpful comments.

You've got a nice start to your article about Sonia Andrade. I am guessing that this is an early draft, so some of my comments you might be very well-aware of, but I thought I'd call them out to be thorough.

Suggestions:

  • Names of places, months, and titles of works should be capitalized - I fixed most of them but there are two more (Paris, author's name in one of the citations). Title of works should also be in italics.
  • There is currently an education section, but there's no information about formal schooling.
  • Does that information belong in the Works section?
  • Some of the wording needs more of a clear, encyclopedic tone, such as:
    • "high art institutions" -- instead of high, do you mean significant, major, etc.? It's often best not to have an adjective, people that read the article know that the Louvre and MoMA are major museums. As soon as you call it significant, for example, then you need a source that says that it's significant.
    • Regarding her art "that she has made has been in Brazil, France, and Switzerland." -- do you mean that her art has been exhibited in Brazil,...?
    • "Andrade has been to many famous art museums all around the world." -- this is not clear, do you mean she's visited art museums, her work is exhibited in many museums? It's wise to be careful of using words like "many" that might over-inflate the facts, unless the source says "many" or a word equivalent to many.
    • The following sentence also needs to be edited to be better written.
  • There are several countries that have a National Museum of Fine Arts - do you know what country applies in this case?
  • Your citations had links to home pages, rather than the specific information that is being cited. I found the first link for you. The other two sources need to be updated with the specific url where you found the information.
  • General comments - it would be nice to see some general background about where she was born, a little family/personal life info, education, and a bit more about her career.

Two examples you may want to check our are Brazilian Maria Martins (artist) and American Janise Yntema.

I'll be watching this page and your sandbox page for any updates. You can also "ping" me (just type "{{ping|CaroleHenson}}" as you see it) to your message on this page or leave a message on my talk page. Happy editing!--CaroleHenson (talk) 21:45, 1 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]