User talk:Harrykim0306/sandbox

Hkim856 (talk) 19:19, 19 October 2018 (UTC) This is a solid start. I assume that you would plan to add your draft to the existing article on this musician, and here are a few comments. One simple way to improve your draft is to add the existing information to your content (i.e. musicians, the tv show, etc.) so that readers will be easily directed to other relevant entries. A more critical issue can be the tone of the article, which is not very neutral. There are many value-laden words in your draft, so I want you to reevaluate your word choices from the perspective of readers who may have little knowledge on this particular musician or Korean hip-hop in general. Last but not least, you also need to figure out how to support the evaluation of Woo's turn-out, such as this sentence (Although he failed to win the show and got a third prize, people evaluate him as a ‘real’ winner of the show).