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GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 14:06, 18 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Preliminary stuff

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I've added an infobox - I have no idea which is the base map image, after nosing around on commons. Might ask over there. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:51, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I am not familiar with the copyright regarding altered images. It still is the primary photo taker...? Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:54, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I think, technically, there are two copyrights, but if it's just cropping and minor fixes, then I strongly assume the photographer is the primary copyright holder. J Milburn (talk) 11:55, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
the former linked to wikt defn. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:10, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
yup. done Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:11, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • An empty external links section looks odd.
agreed. forgot to remove before.. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:05, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

First read through

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  • "Sanford's Sea Eagle" preferable to "Sanford's Sea-eagle"
dang, thought I got 'em all.. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:53, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Wink and colleagues" Who?
They were the study authors, so I changed to "The study authors..." Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:55, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "White-bellied's placement beyond its relationship with Sanford's Sea Eagle are a little less clear" Rephrase?
rejigged - ok? Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:01, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "molecular data indicate that it is one of four species of tropical sea eagles (the other two being the African Fish Eagle and the Madagascar Fish Eagle)" One of four... the other two...
aargh. annoying this one. rejigged - ok? Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:01, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "to be basal" Link or explanation?
Basal (phylogenetics) is a nice link actually. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:03, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and the dark or slate-grey back" The?
removed. accidentally left it in while rejigging Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:28, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "(females larger than males)" This has already been established
removed Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:33, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The male's call was higher-pitched and more rapid than that of the female." Why past tense?
mistake, rejigged to present tense. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:59, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "often seen perched high in a tree, or soaring over waterways and adjacent land. They are often" Repetition
tweaked. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:31, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They are often encountered singly or in pairs." Does this mean "they are often encountered, and they are x or y", or "when they are encountered, they are often x or y"
the adjective refers to both adverbs/adverbial construction. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:31, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They keep within 1 km (0.6 mi) of shores, as there are no thermals over water." Reference?
I didn't add that - although it sounds plausible, I have been utterly unsuccessful in finding mention of this in any literature, but I kept it until the last moment in case something came up...but it hasn't, so finally removed. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:09, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It is a skilled hunter, and will attack prey up to the size of a swan. They also feed on carrion such as dead sheep, birds and fish along the waterline, as well as raiding fishing nets and following cane harvesters." Reference?
oops, they got separated by a para split from the inline ref that referred to them. now fixed. Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:30, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "macropods" Link?
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:58, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Eastern long-necked turtle" Decap?
done Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:00, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A talon-grappling display has been recorded where the pair will fly high before one flips upside down and tries to grapple the other's talons with its own. If successful, the two then plunge earthwards cartwheeling before separating as they approach the ground" Wish we had a photo/video of that...
indeed...just happy another wikipedian had an action shot of it catching a fish.... Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:00, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
PS: Is this worth an external link then? Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:22, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Possibly, if it's a reliable source. I think I'm a little conservative on external links... J Milburn (talk) 11:08, 24 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Meh, not too fussed either way but some nice photos. Gotta try and take some photos of them myself....Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:13, 24 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The discussion of the nests could do with a smoothing- it's a little choppy.
rejigged nest section Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:07, 24 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Measuring 73 x 55 mm.[37]" Why the full stop?
must have been mucking around with word order. fixed now. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:03, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "semi-altricial" Jargon
I've linked to altricial but agree some common-language descriptors would help. Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:23, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "One egg may be infertile, and the second chick sometimes dies in the nest." Or, rather than and?
hmm, I see your point "or" sounds funny but technically correct. changed anyhoo. Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:18, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nestlings have been recorded fledging anywhere from 70 to 84 days old, and remaining around the parents' territory for a further five or six months or until the following breeding season." Ref?
tweaked and reffed Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:51, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • You finish a section with "Depite nesting near each other, the two species seldom interacted, as the Wedge-tailed Eagles hunted away from water and the White-bellied foraged along the lake shores." but mention negative intereaction twice in the next section
Yeah, well, seldom =/= never. These two species are huge raptors, and by far the largest in oz, so I think it is pretty amazing that they nest near each other and feed quite differently. Still doesn't mean they don't squabble some times. Large remnant trees are a hoty contested commodity for breeding y lots of birds so that isn't surprising either. I have moved one bit up which flows well, could move the other as well but am in two minds Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:45, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "DDT"?
described and linked. I must be getting old as it was obvious to me.... Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:15, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Despite this, the result," I don't follow
aah, not sure how that got there. I think I was switching around clauses etc. However, the two sentences are not contrastive, so removed the words as redundant. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:36, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "introduced Common carp" Decap?
duly decapped Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:10, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Known as Manulab to the people of Nissan Island," Do the people have a name?
Not sure, I can't see much by googling so just leaving as is. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:22, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mak Mak people" Worth a redlink?
yes, but I don't know the best term/group to link to, but might look it up. Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:13, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a Dreaming site" What does this mean?
--> Dreaming (spirituality) Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:13, 22 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A Malay name is burung hamba siput "slave of the shellfish", Malay tales told of the sea-eagle screaming at the turning of tides to warn the shellfish." Rephrase? Not fully clear what is meant
I have rejigged that section to make it flow better, essentially it is a paragraph of SE Asian significance, with some emblematic use, followed by some local folk tales. I like these sections which address some angloeuropean folklore bias vs European Robins, Common Ravens etc. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:32, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Repetition of also in the cultural significance section
got rid of a couple. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:25, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'm yet to check the references. Two final thoughts- firstly, an idea of how long individual birds live would be helpful. Secondly, perhaps unsurprisingly, the article does come across as focussing a little too much on Australia. I'm not sure how this could be remedied, but I thought it would be helpful to let you know. J Milburn (talk) 15:16, 18 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Got lifespan - that ref looks a bit simple but is referred to elsewhere, and Marchant and Higgins (the bible) has nothing. Yes there is a lot of focus on Australia but there is precious little overseas material. Will try to look for some more but has been hard going. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:11, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I have found bits and pieces to add on it from outside Australia, but is hard going! Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:38, 24 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

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  • Has Amadan Baldwin's thesis been properly published? Can we definitely consider it reliable?
This suggests it has been accepted and finished by the University of Wollongong and and they alos state how to reference it, so I guess so...Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:04, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is Naturia.per.sg reliable?
I think I can replace that readily. I thought I mgiht need it for some Singapore-based info to balance the Aussie bias, but you are right, I don't think it cuts the mustard. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:36, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is some inconsistency in date formatting
think I got 'em all Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:18, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 39 is yet to be expanded
aargh! left the goddam last '0' off the doi - finally fixed... Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:32, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 43 is incomplete, and is a deadlink anyway
the sentence it cites is a bit fluffy anyway, so just removed it and ref. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:17, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Cultural Survival.org website" I don't think this is needed, and it certainly doesn't need to be in italics
yeah, I think we can lose that one - removed Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:11, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Lonely Planet" Could do with a link
linked Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:23, 24 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Environment Australia website (Kakadu National Park)" Again, unwarranted italics
that is the "work=" parameter of the cite web template indicating the parent website. Not sure what to do about it. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:10, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Birds Australia website" Same
that is the "work=" parameter of the cite web template indicating the parent website. Not sure what to do about it. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:10, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • You've labelled some PDFs, but not others. I wouldn't bother at all.
think I have removed them all. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:19, 23 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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Ok, I've had a look through the GAC and a last look through the article, and I am comfortable that the article is now ready to be promoted to good article status. It's looking very nice- good work. J Milburn (talk) 22:45, 25 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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