Talk:Walter de Lacy, Lord of Weobley and Ludlow/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 12:50, 6 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Marvellous stuff. I could pass it now, very easily, but just a few very minor comments.

"succeeded by a son": Which son, or is this not known? It is not mentioned in the main body.
- Reworded a bit. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Another son became an abbot.": Ditto, who, where.
- Um, first paragraph of "Family" says about the sons... Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"that were held of the Bishop of Bayeux": Should it not be held from; and possibly make it clearer what this means for the general reader?
- See how this works? "Held of" is actually slightly more correct, as I was taught in college. "from" is okay, but "of" is better (I suddenly am hearing sheep bleat ... "two legs bad, four legs good"...) Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"stopping a Welsh raid and then raiding into Wales in retribution": raid … raiding. Could "attack" be used?
- Done. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"along the border with Wales": Very minor point: maybe "Welsh border"?
- I think I used this phrasing to avoid paraphrasing concerns... Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Considerable confusion exists about the wife of Pain fitzJohn, Sybil. C. P. Lewis names her as the daughter of Walter": Possibly my stupidity, but when I first read this, I thought it gave Lewis' name as Sybil C. P. Lewis. It may be that my eye-test is due, but maybe reword this as "Considerable confusion exists about Sybil, the wife of Pain fitzJohn. C. P. Lewis names her as the daughter of Walter…"
- Done. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sarastro1 (talk) 12:59, 6 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All good, passing now. Somehow I did not notice the part in "Family" which clearly explains the sons. I think it's time for a holiday... Incidentally, I have no real preference on the "held of" or "held from", but we were usually told to use "from". Doesn't really matter either way, and I have a suspicion that "of" sounds better but may be a little more impenetrable to the ordinary reader. Sarastro1 (talk) 13:01, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]