Talk:Bartley Wilson/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:06, 7 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

I'm not sure "mainstay" is the right word here. Would something like " is seen as being pivotal in the foundation" or similar? Indeed, perhaps in the lead we should just stick to basics, that he was a key individual in the establishment of the club, and then in the main part perhaps go to town on the plaudits? - Done
Where is date of birth referenced? - Done
No fair use image?

Not that I'm aware of, I'm useless with image licensing anyway mind. Kosack (talk) 09:10, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"he loved to Cardiff in 1897" moved probably? - Done
"found Riverside A.F.C.,the" space after the comma. - Done
"brief spell in 1933. " infobox says he was manager in 33 and 34. Perhaps "appointed in 1933 for a brief spell"? - Done
Perhaps link "publican" for our non-English pub-going public? - Done
"Wilson was born in".. put date of birth in here so when we read when he was orphaned, it's contextualised (i.e. he was 21, so most often we don't [well I don't] think of grown adults who lose their parents as orphans). Perhaps 1891 isn't correct if he was "brought up by his grandmother"...??

The 1891 date was already in the article, I imagine the editor who added had simply jumped ahead on the time line to incorporate the other info. I've reworded the section now. Kosack (talk) 09:15, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"Wilson was a fan of " Very short sentence preceding where Wilson is mentioned so just start the next sentence with "He". - Done
Minor pedantry, Bristol Rovers per se didn't exist until 1899, when that club turned pro, it renamed to " Bristol Eastville Rovers"... - Done
Is there a decent link for "professional" in the context of association football?

Linked to Professionalism in association football. Kosack (talk) 12:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I think £sd is a better link than the generic "shilling" and "penny" links you've used. - Done
" playing friendly matches against local sides, playing their first match on 7 October 1899 against" playing ... against ... playing ... against ... repetitive in one sentence. - Reworded
" less than 100 yards from " convert to metric for our European readers. - Done
In the "Early years" section, you wait until the third para to link "Cardiff City" yet that name is used in the preceding para. - Moved
"the club believed a more" decided rather than believed perhaps? - Done
"the club's reserve side." first mention of this, pretty good considering they had only recently got sufficient interest for a first XI?

I'm a bit confused here, the club had been playing for a decade by this point so I don't think they were struggling to field a side? Kosack (talk) 12:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"in 1923–24 and" --> "in the 1923–24 season and" - Done
"decline" is used in consecutive sentences. - Reworded
"1927 Fa Cup winning side"-> "1927 FA Cup-winning side" - Fixed
" mid point in" I would hyphenate mid-point. - Done
I think " on 7 March 1933, Wilson resigned his position" should be 1934. - Fixed
"numerous players of Cardiff City" odd, just "numerous Cardiff City players" would work better. - Fixed
Refs 26 and 27 should be p., not pp. - Fixed
Ext link has it as "Bartley Wilson" while sucbox has it as "Wilson", be consistent. - Fixed

That's it on a first read, on hold! The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:43, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: Thanks for another review. I've addressed all of the points listed above. Let me know what you think. Kosack (talk) 12:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

There does seem to be an image of him on Google images, which could be downsampled and then used under fair use. Although he owes me nothing, we might be able to ask David to have a look and see what can be done? Thanks for the other replies, just one more thing springs to mind (and the image isn't a requirement for GA, of course, just nice to have), and that's can we have an inline citation for his managerial statistics please? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:38, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Sure, I've converted the external link to an inline citation now. That's the only info it was there to support anyway so probably makes more sense. If an image can be found that would be great, but as I say image licensing is not my strong point! Kosack (talk) 14:05, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Cool, great work. I'm hoping David will be able to help us with an image, but in the meantime, happy to pass the nomination as easily meeting the GA criteria. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 16:18, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]