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Rewrote a Paragraph

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I happened to look at this article today more closely than I have in some time, and have rewritten a key paragraph which read as follows:

The Tydings–McDuffie Act provided for the drafting and guidelines of a Constitution for a 12-year "transitional period" which became the government of the Commonwealth of the Philippines before the granting of Philippine independence, during which the US would maintain military forces in the Philippines. Furthermore, during this period the American President was granted the power to call into military service all military forces of the Philippine government. The act permitted the maintenance of US naval bases, within this region, for two years after independence.

I was initially bothered by "which became the government" in the first sentence, when I couldn't identify what that related to in the preceding phrase; then bothered by not being able to find anything about a 12-year "transitional period" in the act and didn't get the point of the italicization — which appears contrary to WP:ITALICS. I'm not much of a wordsmith myself, and what I thought would be be a minor fix turned into a rewrite.

Initially, I rewrote the first sentence up to the comma into the following:

The Tydings–McDuffie Act authorized and specified a procedural framework for, within two years of its enactment, the drafting of a Constitution for the government of the Commonwealth of the Philippines. The act specified a number mandatory provisions, and required approval of the constitution by the President of the United States and by the Filipino people. The act mandated U.S. recognition of independence of the Philippine Islands as a separate and self-governing nation after a ten year transition period.

The remainder of the original paragraph concerned US military presence in the Philippines and US authority to call up Philippine military assets during the period prior to complete independence. That seems like a minor point in the scope of the act but I left it in, except for the final sentence, with the removal of the "Furthermore" and some other rewording.

The final sentence appeared to misconstrue the act, saying that it permitted the US Navy to maintain bases in the Philippines for two years after independence. As I read the act, however, it empowers the US president to enter into negotiations for adjustment regarding that within two years after independence and specifies, "pending such adjustment and settlement the matter of naval reservations and fueling stations shall remain in its present status." I've rewritten that bit accordingly. Wtmitchell (talk) (earlier Boracay Bill) 07:06, 28 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Similar bill for independence of Puerto Rico

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This edit caught my eye. It seems to me that this sentence does not have sufficient topical weight for inclusion in this article. I don't feel strongly enough about this to boldly delete the sentence, but I thought I would mention that here. Wtmitchell (talk) (earlier Boracay Bill) 12:32, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]