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Talk:The Client (The Office)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

A few suggestions for improving the article:

  • Jan and Michael form a relationship -- kind of awkwardly worded. How about something like they "begin a relationship" or "enter a relationship together"? Up to you, really
Changed "form" to begin" --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Fieg had previously directed episode "Pilot" and "The Dundies" -- I think you've mistaken Greg Daniels for Paul Feig here, and anyway, Daniels wrote (not directed) the pilot.
Changed --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need to relink Greg Daniels in the 2nd paragraph of Production; he's just been linked a few lines above, and also in the lead.
Unlinked --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • When Oscar talks about his date getting a background check on him, that was based off of an actual date that writer Paul Lieberstein went on -- can this whole sentence be reworded?
Re-worded to "The scene where Oscar tells a story about a date getting a background check on him was based on an actual date that Paul Lieberstein went on." Is that better? --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • reshoot to explain the "Dwigt" situation clearly and concisely -- is that "Dwight"?
No, in the episode, "Dwigt" was written on the script, which hinted that Michael originally used Dwight's name, and then the misspelling wasn't changed after a search and replace. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Greg Daniels brought everyone into the editing room -- [1] says he brought in "everyone he could". It's fussy, but there is a slight difference.
Changed "everyone" to "many people" --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • households with an 18 to 49 year old living in it -- "year-old".
Changed --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I wouldn't say "The Client" generally received positive reviews from critics. Only the first review is done by a real "critic"; the second isn't part of an edited publication and the third is a poll to the public.
Removed opening statement --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Per WP:MOSTV#Reception, polls held to the public are not considered reliable (Nielsen ratings are used to determine public interest, and we have those figures here) and therefore should not be included, i.e. the poll by OfficeTally.com.
Removed poll --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:20, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put the article on hold for seven days so any changes can be made, and the hopefully we can promote the article to GA status. Good luck with the improvements :) —97198 talk 13:00, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking care of business -- now the only thing I'd suggest is explaining the "Dwigt" thing as readers such as myself who have not seen the episode wouldn't understand. Maybe just mention in the plot synopsis that the character was named Dwigt, by saying something like "the incopetent sidekick, Dwigt...". Otherwise, good stuff so far. —97198 talk 11:01, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, tell me what you think now. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 14:57, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, okay, I misunderstood the whole misspelling thing but it's clearly explained now :) Everything looks fine and I'm happy to promote. —97198 talk 01:57, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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