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COI edit request

[edit]

Hi, I work for the Office of the Children's Commissioner, the organisers of Takeover Day, and wanted to suggest some changes and additions to the page which I hope are within the Wikipedia guidelines. The main issues are:

  • The organisation is no longer called 11 MILLION. We changed our name, logo and web address to the 'Office of the Children's Commissioner' in May 2010. Here's the link to our last annual report to confirm this. The current Children's Commissioner for England is Dr Maggie Atkinson.
  • Takeover Day doesn't take place on 6 November each year, as stated on the entry. This year's event will be on 12 November. Visit: www.takeoverday.org.uk.
  • I also wanted to add some info about this year's event and direct people to the new Takeover Day page on our website.

Would this be OK to do? Thanks

Joanne2010 (talk) 12:33, 26 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please review the Conflict of interest policy page. I would have no problem with the first two since they're simply correcting/updating facts, although you might want to seek help in changing the page name. You can do that by placing a {{helpme}} template on the page - in fact, I'll do that for you now. The last one is conditional depending on the wording and tone used. After you've read the policy, and if you feel you can be objective and not use any overly promotional language, give it a try. Be sure to use edit summaries and if questioned refer people to this talk page. 69.181.249.92 (talk) 12:39, 26 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

{{helpme}}

See the first comment from Joanne2010 above. As an IP editor, I am unable to move pages. 69.181.249.92 (talk) 12:39, 26 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Page moved. I removed the date info (unreferenced anyway).
Please note that the article needs independent reliable sources; please see WP:VRS.
Edit requests can be placed on this pace, and please put {{Request edit}}, but note, you need to supply appropriate reliable sources.  Chzz  ►  12:48, 26 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
P.S. I removed the previous named commissioner, but I did not add the new one due to concerns regarding non-public figures; please provide independent reliable sources.
WRT 2010 / future events, please see WP:CRYSTAL - again, we need to see why the information is notable, via independent references.  Chzz  ►  12:53, 26 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for changing the page name and setting up the redirect so quickly! I'll take a look at the COI policy and info on independent sources so that the changes are as objective as possible.

Joanne2010 (talk) 13:31, 26 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Requested edit

[edit]

{{Request edit}}

Hi, I'd like to sugggest the following copy for the page (see below). I have tried to find an independent source to add to the page and would also be grateful if the link to the 2009 video is removed as this is now out of date. Thanks Joanne2010 (talk) 09:18, 27 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Takeover Day is a national event led by the Children's Commissioner for England. It offers children and young people the chance to work with adults and get involved in decision-making.
In 2009 around 30,000 children and young people worked with a range of organisations, including businesses, schools, police and fire services, newspapers, banks, TV and radio stations, charities, local councils, MPs, hospitals, charities and government departments. This year the Commissioner has raised the target to 40,000.
Friday 12 November 2010 will be the fourth annual Takeover Day.
External links
Takeover Day web page
 Done Also added references & tweaked wording. Another editor added the 'Takeover Day' logo. Shearonink (talk) 23:13, 27 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]