Talk:Jasmine (Aladdin)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 23:12, 3 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for a review. It will take me a couple days to get through it as it is a long article. But I will get through it by the end of the week at the latest. Aoba47 (talk) 23:12, 3 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, take all the time you need :-)--Changedforbetter (talk) 09:37, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Please provide an ALT description for the infobox image, as well as all of the other images in the article.

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 06:53, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The Once Upon a Time actress should be listed in the infobox as you have done with Belle (Disney)

Actually, the "Portrayed by" section should not be included in Belle's infobox whatsoever as there is actually a general consensus on the article's talk page declaring that the infobox should be limited to information pertaining only to the animated version of the character, specifically in regards to Disney Princess articles. However, an anonymous editor insists on returning the "Portrayed by" information to the infobox no matter how many times I revert the edit; I apologize for the confusion. Therefore, I'll be leaving Jasmine's infobox as is but will instead add some more information about her appearance in Once Upon a Time in the "Misc." section.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:47, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Changedforbetter: That actually makes more sense. I found it a little odd that the Once Upon a Time actress was included for the Belle infobox when I assume it should just contain information about who voiced her in the films. Thank you for clearing this up for me. Aoba47 (talk) 20:11, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Haha thanks! Yeah it's an ongoing issue unfortunately.--Changedforbetter (talk) 01:47, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reference 75 is dead so please archive this

Done. Reference replaced altogether with new "Broadway musical" section.--Changedforbetter (talk) 01:47, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I really like the following phrase “Belonging to "a series of spunky heroines" inspired by both contemporary feminism and the girl power movement” a lot, but it needs to have Jasmine in the subject position. Your current wording is attributing this to Timothy B. Cargal. You should revised to something along the lines of “Jasmine was recognized by Hearing a Film, Seeing a Sermon: Preaching and Popular Movies author Timothy B. Cargal as…”

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 02:14, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

It seems odd that you have a section entitled “Films and television series” when it is only focus on the three films. I would either suggest renaming the section or moving the information about the animated television series up into this section. Either way would be fine by me, so I will leave this up to your own personal preference.

Resolved.--Changedforbetter (talk) 08:46, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This is more of a clarification question, but do you think it would be worth it to add a short sentence about how Jasmine took a much more prominent/active role in the animated series as opposed to her debut? It would be helpful if you could find people talking about the animated show, but I am aware that finding people talking about an early 1990s children’s cartoon show may be next to impossible. I just want to get your opinion about this. (I am probably biased since I loved the cartoon series lol)

Interesting. Actually, the only reliable source I found about Jasmine's role in the series is this review, in which the reviewer actually states quite the opposite aha.--Changedforbetter (talk) 08:44, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, I doubted you could find a reliable source on an early 1990s children’s cartoon show (so finding one at all was very good). I feel like the reviewer from that source only watched maybe one or two episodes from the series, as she actually had a much larger role (especially compared to her rather limited appearances in the film), but it is not that important so it is fine as it currently stands. Aoba47 (talk) 14:48, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The character is featured in the game Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey. Should this be mention in the “Miscellaneous” section, along with the other video game adaptations/appearances? Same question for Disney Infinity?

Done. Included references and reviews about Jasmine's world in Enchanted Journey and the Disney Infinity figurine.--Changedforbetter (talk) 05:23, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The character also appears in the manga Kilala Princess. Should this be mention in the “Miscellaneous” section as well?

Done, included in the Disney Princess-related paragraph.--Changedforbetter (talk) 08:17, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Should the character’s appearance in one of the Lilo & Stitch trailers be mentioned? Or during the ending of the Lion King 1 1/2? Or in the chapter books Tales from Agrabah?

I'll have to pass on Lilo & Stitch and The Lion King because those are borderline trivial, but definitely included Tales from Agrabah.--Changedforbetter (talk) 09:39, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Makes sense. I thought the first two were more trivial, but I wanted to double-check with you. And I thought the Tales from Agrabah one would be appropriate as it deals more directly with the character. Aoba47 (talk) 14:48, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Should you mention that Jasmine was supposed to appear in the cancelled animated short “Princess Academy”? I apologize for asking similar questions, but I just want to make sure this section is completely comprehensive.

Hmmm I don't think it's necessary to include a canceled appearance that is more-so related to the Disney Princess franchise than the character (if it was, say, a film entirely about Jasmine or a specific television arc, it would be different). For now, I'll leave it excluded.--Changedforbetter (talk) 02:41, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Makes sense to me, just wanted to double-check this with you. Aoba47 (talk) 02:51, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

If possible, I would suggest expanding on the sentence about the Broadway musical (to something similar to Ariel (Disney character) and Belle (Disney). The musical is much more recent than those for Beauty and the Beast and the Little Mermaid, but I think you could find more information for this section.

Done. Actually added a "Broadway musical" sub-heading underneath Films and television series, featuring information on how the role was acquired by Reed and changes made to the source material.--Changedforbetter (talk) 01:47, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The same goes for the “Once Upon A Time” section. I am not expecting the same amount of content as the other Disney princess as the character just debuted on the show during this year, but I would suggest updating this with the information available now, such as the information about casting, reception, and her storyline on the show. It may actually be helpful that the storyline is unfolding on the current season, as you may find sources more easily.

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:19, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Great job with this! Aoba47 (talk) 20:39, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The character’s appearance was redesigned in 2012, and probably should be mention if you can find sources for it. I think she also had a more recent redesign in how the meet-and-greet characters dress as her, so I would suggest looking into that as well.

@Changedforbetter: Great work with the article overall! I can tell you have put a lot of time and energy into working on this. I hope you have found my review helpfully. Once, you address this point, then I will pass the article. I am unsure if this point is important or not, but it is something that briefly encounter when looking up Jasmine online so let me know what you think. The two redesigns seemed important and have drawn attention, such as here and here for the park redesign. Here are some sources for the character redesign: 1 and 2. Also, do you think it would be more helpful for the reader to include an image of the redesigned meet-and-greet character from the parts rather than the cosplay image? (I am not sure if there is a free use image out there for it, and I want to leave that part up to your own personal preference since it is your article. The image of the cosplay is fine as it currently stands, but I just wanted to point this out as an idea.) Aoba47 (talk) 14:55, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there, thank you so much for the thorough review you've given this article. With your points and suggestions, it now looks better than I ever imagined it could have! Also thank you for taking the time to help me find sources :-) I've definitely added a paragraph about Jasmine's redesign at the Disney Parks. However, to avoid the article becoming too bloated I'm a little more hesitant to include the Disney Princess redesign, which is constantly changing anyway. Although definitely significant, it would be better suited for the Disney Princess article itself, but I will mention it briefly in the Disney Princess paragraph. With that being said, I believe I've addressed all of your concerns regarding this article; awaiting verdict.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:20, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Of course; I really enjoyed reading through this article. Thank you for adding the information about Jasmine's redesign at the Disney Parks. I agree with you in that the Disney Princess redesign should be kept to the Disney Princess article itself as it is more about the brand/franchise as a whole rather than this specific character. To avoid bloating, I agree only information directly pertaining to the character should be kept here. Aoba47 (talk) 17:56, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I do not think the “while” in front of “Time Out” is necessary as the Time Out and TV Guide critics are agreeing about their view of the character and I feel “while” implies a contrast between the two, where there is none.

Done!--Changedforbetter (talk) 02:38, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I would recommend splitting the rather long second paragraph in the “Feminist analysis” section into two. There is a natural breaking point, in which the topic transitions to the Jafar kiss/slave sequence and that would make a perfect new paragraph.

Done!--Changedforbetter (talk) 08:17, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

You use “rank” a few times in close proximity in the “Impact and legacy” section so I would suggest revising for variety.

Resolved, and cleaned up the section in general.--Changedforbetter (talk) 04:04, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Do not put titles for references in all caps (see references 8 and 26)

Resolved.--Changedforbetter (talk) 04:04, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Changedforbetter: You have done an excellent job with this article. It is a very interesting read and I learned a lot about the character. I really enjoy the way that you write the article, and I can actually take some pointers from you on that regard. Aside from some relatively minor comments about possible corrections and revisions, my primary comments deal with the comprehensiveness of the "Appearances" section as I believe the Once Upon a Time and musical appearances should be expanded, as well as the addition of several other materials in which Jasmine makes an appearance. Let me know if you have any questions about my review. I will give the article another read-through once every aspect of my review is addressed, and will most likely pass it. With a little more work, I can actually see this being a featured article possibly in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 17:06, 4 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your kind words and awesome review; I'm glad you enjoy my work and am flattered you think the article has FA potential. I've completed making the changes you've suggested and it's awaiting your judgement :-)--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:43, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Changedforbetter: Thank you for your responses. I have always really liked this character, so it was really cool to be able to learn more about her. You have an excellent job with this! This is a definite ✓ Pass. I look forward to either working with you more in the future, or reading more of your work on here. Aoba47 (talk) 17:56, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.