Talk:Park Lane/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 15:16, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I know this road from heart. From Knightsbridge to Old Bond Street everyday, oh good times... JAGUAR 15:16, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

I might be being too cautious but I think per WP:MOSBEGIN, the first paragraph in the lead is slightly too short and might benefit from a small expansion (a sentence ought to do it) or some shifting of the content around to make it longer

I've added a few sentences, that summarise the rest of the lead, like a "meta-lead". That ought to work quite well for somebody who was looking for a different Park Lane and quickly wants to work out what this one is. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:47, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The road, 1.2 kilometres (0.75 mi) in length" - why is it metric before imperial in this instance? It's in the infobox too

Google Maps suggests one end to the other on foot is 0.7 miles, and that's good enough to me. Do we need a source too? It can be verified by taking a trundle wheel up the street and it really doesn't strike me as "information challenged or likely to be challenged". Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:52, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"the British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli at No. 93, Dorchester House, Brook House and Dudley House" - unclear, did Benjamin Disraeli live at all of these houses or was it just No. 93 at Dorchester House?

Split Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:47, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"and runs north from Hyde Park Corner to Marble Arch" - the Marble Arch? The article itself uses "the Marble Arch", which is probably a good barometer

No, it's definitely Marble Arch - in this case, links to that are referring to either the road junction (with Oxford Street and Edgeware Road) or the tube station. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:35, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Ah I thought so, at first I thought it was just referring to the Marble Arch itself JAGUAR 11:04, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"After the war, Charles Vane-Tempest-Stewart, Viscount Castlereagh, and his wife, Edith Helen Chaplin, continued to use the house and entertained extensively" - probably entertained extensively there would sound clearer

I've gone with "entertained there extensively" Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:35, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"On 5 September 1975, a Provisional IRA bomb exploded at the hotel, killing 2 people" - two

Fixed Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:22, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The first sentence in the 21st century section talks about a gate that was erected in 1993?

Moved. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:46, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The second paragraph in the Cultural references section is too short and would benefit from being merged with something else

Merged Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:46, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"On the board, Park Lane forms a pair with Mayfair" WP:OVERLINK, Mayfair is already linked once in the lead and once again in the article

Fixed Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:46, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Since the original publication, prices on Park Lane have held their value, though average rent costs have been overtaken by Bond Street" - is this still referring to Monopoly here? If not it doesn't sound like it should belong in a Culture section?

I've copyedited this a little to make it clear. The source is specifically referring to the relationship between Monopoly board prices and real life, and speculating if Park Lane and Mayfair really are the most valuable places in London. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:46, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Testament to the forces of globalization" - UK Spelling, I've changed this one myself

Okay. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:46, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

References

No dead links
Is ref 68 working for you? It wouldn't load for me and the toolserver labels it as "suspicious"

I have seen it working (it's a search for "Park Lane" in the book series), but I might have messed up the URL. Let me look for a better source. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 15:40, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I've swapped the source for a better one and added a bit more information. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:46, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

On hold

This is a very well written article, hence why I couldn't find many prose issues with it! The concerns I noted above were all minor, so it shouldn't take long to address them. Are you aiming to bring up every street on the Monopoly board to GA? It's very doable as the sources for every place in London is quite extensive. JAGUAR 16:04, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar: - I think I've addressed all the issues; can you take another look? Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 07:56, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review Jaguar, and addressing the points Ritchie.♦ Dr. Blofeld 08:29, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

As for bringing every Monopoly square to GA, inspired by the Rambling Man's Boat Race extravaganza last year, I've started a chart. Bring it on! Whitechapel Road is the next target, I think. I need to get a full hard copy of The London Encyclopedia which has essential information about all of them (been working off a partially incomplete Google Books copy for the minute). Tim Moore's Do Not Pass Go, which I have a paper copy of, is dedicated to the streets and properties on the Monopoly board. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 08:49, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing them! I've had another look through the article and it now meets the GA criteria. I wish you two luck on brining every Monopoly square up to GA - definitely achievable and it would make an excellent Good Topic.

JAGUAR 11:04, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers. Yes, I think it would be possible to make it a Good Article topic!♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:05, 6 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]