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FT article

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This article will help construct a more balanced BLP here: [1]. Nomoskedasticity (talk) 08:36, 9 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Article Improvement/Neutrality and Updated Information

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Hi. I'm Frankie and I work for Mohamed Amersi. I'd like to request the following changes to the article:

  1. Amersi has not been the chairman of QML since his resignation from that position in 2020. That detail should be removed from the lede section of the article.
  2. Similiarly, his position at QML is included as an independent section. I'd like to ask for its removal, since it is unsourced and is no longer relevant. If removal is not possible, it should be added as a subsection in the existing career section.
  3. The correct name of section 2.3 of Amersi's career is Inclusive Venture Group. Impact Investments is a description of what the fund does, but is not its proper name.
  4. Amersi is a donor to the Conservative Party; the use of the word "leading" in the second sentence of the lede section is inappropriate.

Thank you for your help, FrankieB16 (talk) 09:06, 8 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • Hi Frankie. Here's my comments:
  1. Do you have a source regarding his resignation? I know the section is unsourced now but I would prefer one if we are going to affirmatively say he resigned in 2020.
  2. I'll remove that section or subordinate it to another one, ideally after I see a source for the point above.  Done
  3. I'll make that change shortly.  Done
  4. I don't know enough about UK political donations to say whether or not it is inappropriate to say "leading" here. It seems like he donates rather a lot of money to the conservatives but in, for example, the US we wouldn't say someone is a "leading" donor. We could say here "he has donated a considerable amount of money to the Conservative party and conservative politicians". 500,000 pounds is pretty serious money and I assume that figure doesn't include his partner's donation. Would that be acceptable? Protonk (talk) 14:59, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Protonk, thank you for your response and patience. I wanted to make sure my response was as thorough as possible. I hope this is informative and conducive to making the changes.
  1. I think that the available sourcing on Amersi's involvement with QML (now known as Neos) is not entirely inline with Wikipedia's requirements for reliable and secondary sources. I am including here for your consideration: https://www.companysearchesmadesimple.com/company/uk/10791247/neos-international-limited/#people, https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/10791247/officers, https://www.companysearchesmadesimple.com/director/uk/922443126/?companyNumber=10791247). Given that the entire QML content was added without references, I hope it is possible to make this change.
  2. Thank you
  3. Thank you
  4. Amersi is a big donor to the British Conservative Party, but he is far from a "leading" donor; the word itself is misleading. These sources confirm he is not among the Party's Top 10 contributors: https://leftfootforward.org/2022/01/who-are-the-top-10-uk-political-donors-since-the-2019-elections/ and https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-58721596. His wife's contributions are made independently of him and are therefore not relevant to his specific contributions.
Again, thank you for your continued help and patience. I look forward to working with you to improve the page and will strive to be prompt in my future responses. FrankieB16 (talk) 14:40, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Great. I'll take a look at this today. I think you are right with your assessment that these are not exactly the sources we want to use with living people, but I'll see what we can do. Sometimes it is preferable to cite a sub-standard source in service of an uncontroversial point which nonetheless cannot be entirely deleted. However that's a judgment which can't be rendered without some poking about for alternative options. Protonk (talk) 15:04, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
the QML bit is  Done.
For the donation thing, I agree the word is misleading. How about something like "Amersi is a major donor to the Conservative party, having given nearly £525,000 since 2018, and has contributed to Boris Johnson's leadership campaign, though he is not among the party's top ten contributors<<bbc cite goes here>>" Would that work? As you can imagine I'm hesitant to soften this too much but we are both in agreement that leading isn't appropriate and needs to go. I would also be ok with something like "Amersi has donated a considerable sum of money to the Conservative party, giving nearly £525,000 since 2018..." if we don't want to swap "leading" for "major". Protonk (talk) 23:53, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Protonk I am grateful for your help and thoughtful consideration of my suggestions. Perhaps the following could satisfy the details about the donations: Amersi is a donor to the Conservative party. He has given nearly £525,000 to the Conservative party since 2018. This language is both accurate and neutral, without any of the qualifying adjectives. Similarly, I feel the detail about Boris Johnson's leadership campaign is outdated and misplaced in the lede. Perhaps a sentence like As a Conservative party supporter, Amersi contributed to Boris Johnson's leadership campaign. should be included in the body of the article, but not the lede? I'd say the same is true for the QML mention in the lede.
I appreciate the time you have dedicated to helping me with this. This ongoing conversation has been constructive and informative. Thank you. FrankieB16 (talk) 07:20, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I think the argument that the qualifying language is a bit much is a good one. Let me think about it and see what sources say about the issue.
Can you tell me what the significance of contributing to Johnson's leadership campaign is? I'm not familiar with how UK campaign finance works so I don't know if this was merely a contribution to his campaign to be party leader or if the term "leadership campaign" has some special significance a la "political action committee" in the United States. Protonk (talk) 16:42, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Protonk, Amersi's donation to Johnson's 2019 campaign was 10,000 pounds. As dictated by UK law donations above 7,500 must be declared. This is a small sum of money compared to the sort of money raised in American politics. The funding is already mentioned in the article's section on Amersi's political activity; I feel it is no longer relevant to include that particular detail as part of the lede. FrankieB16 (talk) 11:07, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
That makes sense. Just to be clear, was I right in my assessment that the donation was to his 'campaign' to be PM? Protonk (talk) 21:05, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Protonk, technically Amersi donated to Johnson's 2019 campaign to become the leader of the Conservative Party. As a result of this win, Johnson became Prime Minister following the resignation of his predecessor Theresa May. Thank you for all your time and attention to detail. FrankieB16 (talk) 15:22, 28 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Protonk, I want to thank you again for your help with these edits. It has been a productive and informative process, yielding important modifications to the encyclopedic entry. I am working with Amersi to form an additional edit request for further changes and updates to the article. My sincere appreciation for all you've done thus far. FrankieB16 (talk) 09:31, 29 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your work as well. Protonk (talk) 05:02, 30 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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