Talk:Melodrama (Lorde album)/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 18:49, 14 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Commencing this or next week... I'm looking forward to see the progress. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:49, 14 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Thank you so much! How cool that this is getting reviewed right around its anniversary (Melodrama turns one year tomorrow). De88 (talk) 20:02, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: Lol, I didn't see that coming... :) Congrats for Lorde and you (I'm also a big Lorde fan btw...) Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:13, 15 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Hey, just wondering when this review will commence. I understand you are busy contributing to other articles but just wanted to know an approximate timeline for this specific article. De88 (talk) 18:18, 23 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: It may actually come later today or next week. I have not forgotten about that. Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:19, 23 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Oh, okay. I am glad you have not forgotten about this. I know that it can happen when one is busy so I just wanted to know if this review would commence in the near future. Thanks. De88 (talk) 19:33, 23 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

This is not exactly the lead, but the "This article is about the Lorde album..." note at the top of the page needs to be removed. The article has a "(Lorde album)", making it very clear which topic this is about. The note could indeed be included if the page would be named "Melodrama (album)" or "Melodrama", but this isn't the case here
~~Link "minimalist"~~
it is an electropop album → the genres named by critics were pop and electropop, so pop should be listed here as well
examining the world around her. She continued → examining the world around her, and continued
The lead single, "Green Light", was followed by two more singles; "Perfect Places" and a remix of "Homemade Dynamite" → I would reword this to: "To promote Melodrama, "Green Light" was released as its lead single to commercial success, followed by "Perfect Places" and a remix of "Homemade Dynamite"."
The album debuted at number one → I would say "the album itself..." to make it clear that we aren't talking about the singles anymore
the Billboard 200 → the Billboard 200 chart
topping the charts → and topped the charts
Link "critics" to Music criticism
It was named as the best album of the year → remove "as"

Infobox

The cover artwork needs ALT text
The recording span and the recording studios aren't explicity named in the article; please find a ref or remove
Is the release date for "Homemade Dynamite" 15 or 16 September? Even in the song's article, the dates are different throughout.

Background and recording

she said her second studio album was in its early stages → replace "her second studio album" with "it" to avoid word repetition
and that at that stage it was → you could remove "at that stage", as it is not really relevant and repeats "stage"
from her debut album → from her 2013 debut album
lead single "Yellow Flicker Beat" to critical acclaim → Although it is cited in the song's article that it was positively received, you need to include one ref here as well of a publication prasing it, to support the claim
who produced Pure Heroine (2013) → remove the year in the brackets altogether
studio the following month.[5] Little also said a definite plan was not yet established → studio the following month,[5] although a definite plan was not yet established.
he said that although he wrote a few songs → he reported that despite he wrote a few songs (to avoid words repetition)
her boyfriend of three years, had ended their relationship → her boyfriend, had ended their three-year relationship
~~following the release of "Green Light" (2017).[9] Lorde said she indulged → following the release of "Green Light" (2017),[9] confessing she indulged~~
she wanted to be herself in strange situations to see the reactions afterwards → This part is really irrelevant to the article itself ans should be removed
She was chosen to perform "Life on Mars" (1971) at the 2016 Brit Awards as part of a David Bowie tribute.[11] → This may be relevant for Lorde's biography, but not for Melodrama in particular. Please remove
Lorde replied → Lorde eventually replied (for better flow)
of Melodrama and that she was → of Melodrama — still untitled at the time — and that she was (for clarification)
The singer announced its title → The singer went on to announce the album's title
She began → She also began
of herself in Electric Lady Studios → of herself at Electric Lady Studios
Link "social media"
Combine the last paragraph with the second

That't it for now, more to come eventually... Cartoon network freak (talk) 09:50, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: I do want to make one note here. The whole article received a peer review a couple of months ago. I find it a bit odd that it still has a lot of baggage and that worries me. From the first two sections (and infobox) reviewed, that seems to be the case. De88 (talk) 15:00, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: Don't worry, De88; I can see clear progress even though issues are still there. I will complete my review today and tomorrow, and you can start working on the article. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 15:51, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Yeah, just wanted to notify you of that. Also, I am reading your comments and one of them mentions linking "minimalist". I once did this and got in trouble because the page was too broad and one of the sections which focuses on the musical aspect of minimalism was actually more of a genre. I was told the article did not really describe what Lorde was doing in her debut album so my edit was reverted. De88 (talk) 17:47, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: I stroke this. Cartoon network freak (talk) 17:54, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: So I just finished fixing the two sections you reviewed. I removed the recording dates, although there was a source I found that said she came up with the concept of Melodrama during late 2015. I am sure that is not enough to warrant placement in the infobox. Regarding the studio locations, I did find another source that explicitly states "Antonoff's home studio" but could not find any other sources for the rest. However, I have the physical copy of the album and the studios in the infobox appear in the liner notes. De88 (talk) 22:11, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: Then leave the recording studios as they are in the infobox and link the liner notes. Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:15, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: Also, I don't see the fact that Lorde flew between US and NZ ever mentioned and referenced in the article's body. Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:18, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Should I link the liner note citations in the infobox for all three studios or mention them in the body and cite them there? I will also make a note of Lorde flying between the US and NZ in the background section. Thank you for catching that and for reviewing this article! De88 (talk) 22:26, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: It would indeed be better to mention the studios in the article's body if you have the chance to. Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:30, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

(←) CNF, please keep in mind while reviewing that compliance with WP:Words to watch is mandatory for GA articles (criterion 1b; see Wikipedia:Good_article_criteria):

*following the release of "Green Light" (2017).[9] Lorde said she indulged → following the release of "Green Light" (2017),[9] confessing she indulged. "Confessed" is a loaded term; please prefer a neutral alternative. It is also editorialising: Wikipedia is written in Plain English (essay). I noticed you suggested this change further down your review too. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 23:43, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Baffle gab1978: Removed that word from the article. Thanks for the notice! Cartoon network freak (talk) 04:10, 25 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Writing and production

as inspiration → as an inspiration
She likened the plot of the short story → Place "aforementioned" before "short story" to make things clearer
In her view, the past two years were very "turbulent and traumatic" that it made the climate feel so "tangible" → This is not relevant for the Melodrama article itself
Lorde also took notes from conversations with her friends and said that while in the United States, she would watch people's faces and not know what the other person was saying. Returning to New Zealand meant she had to "decode people again." → The part with the conversations is fine, but how is the rest relevant to the article?
In the article, Lorde says → Interviewed by the publication, Lorde says
when you're 19 or 20".[20] She said the previous two years → when you're 19 or 20,"[20] further confessing the previous two years
and drawing parallels with Greek tragedies → do you mean that she drew those parallels while talking about her past years?
She said it was very "tongue-in-cheek" → According to her, it was very "tongue-in-cheek" (to avoid the repetition of "said")
this record felt more stylized because → replace "because" with the more encyclopedic word "as"
These phrases also came through in the form of a "tableau" → Not quite sure what you mean by this

@Cartoon network freak: Just fixed all the comments on this section, except for the last one. In the interview, she mentions how certain phrases came through as tableaus, basically a fancy term for picture or illustration. Should I just say that or should I further explain the quoted word? De88 (talk) 23:18, 24 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: I know what tableau means, but I was not getting the sentence. You can maybe say that the phrases illustrated a "tableau" in her head? Cartoon network freak (talk) 05:06, 25 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Artwork

The cover art → since the section is named "Artwork", I would say "The cover artwork" in first instance
Link "email"
at his friend's studio. His studio set consisted → at his friend's studio, which consisted
Lorde wore a vintage negligee and posed for two hours → You need to clarify that she did this for the album's artwork. Like it's written, it sounds like she randomly posed like this during her studio visit
revealed in an interview McKinniss did for Dazed → revealed in an interview with McKinniss for Dazed
on their list of the best album art of the 21st century → on their list of the best album arts of the 21st century
Which publication is Tatiano Cirisano writing for and why are there two refs if it's only one author?

Music and lyrics

What is a "layered" delivery? Do you mean harmonies or multiple vocal tracks?
and Laurie Anderson's use of the vocoder → as well as Laurie Anderson's use of vocoder
are present in her vocal performances → are showcased through her vocal performances
signature production, which incorporates drums, synths, layered vocals → Is layered vocals really production?
at a Grammy after-party. They later had several "exploratory" writing sessions, after which Lorde hired him as the main co-writer on the album → at a Grammy after-party and later had several "exploratory" writing sessions before Lorde hired him as the main co-writer on the album
Link "Grammy"
Link "hip-hop"
Lorde took a classicist approach → replace "Lorde" with "the singer" to avoid word repetition
usually finding a melody in her mind then trying different vocal falsettos → usually composing a melody then trying different vocal falsettos
Lorde wanted to explore → She also cited her desire to explore
as a loose concept album.[46][1][47] → refs are not in numerical order
wanted to showcase some contrast → The word "some" can be removed
and to include personal events → as well as desired to reference personal events
Lorde also cites Don Henley, Tom Petty, Phil Collins and Joni Mitchell as inspirations → The singer also cites Don Henley, Tom Petty, Phil Collins and Joni Mitchell as inspirations for Melodrama.
Those image captions are really irelevant here and should be removed

Songs

The track's instrumentation also includes a tenor and baritone saxophone and a trumpet.[56] The sound of a tiger's roar, which was added two sessions before the song concluded when Antonoff was looking through samples → The track's instrumentation also includes a tenor and baritone saxophone, a trumpet,[56] as well as the sound of a tiger's roar which was added when Antonoff was looking through samples two sessions before the song concluded.
Antonoff is not credited as songwriter or producer → Antonoff is not credited as a songwriter or producer
Link "rapping"
was inspired when she took a taxi from a party and listened to the track "Higher" from Rihanna's 2016 album Anti → was by the track "Higher" from Rihanna's 2016 album Anti, which she listened to after she took a taxi from a party.
noise and electronica genres.[60][42] → refs are not in numerical order
The first part of "Hard Feelings/Loveless" → write something like "The first part of divided song "Hard Feelings/Loveless"" to make it clear that there are two counterparts in the track
Lorde and Antonoff both compared the song to Don Henley's "The Heart of the Matter" (1989). Antonoff also likened → Lorde and Antonoff both compared the song to Don Henley's "The Heart of the Matter" (1989), with the latter also likening
to Henley's song because both songs "grapple → to Henley's song as both tracks "grapple
is sung from the perspective of a "deflated room" → ?
Most of the song was constructed using drums and then she "filled in the blanks" with the piano → Most of the song was constructed using drums, whereas "blanks" were later "filled" with piano sequences.
after the deaths of David Bowie and Prince → after the deaths of David Bowie and Prince ocurred
was inspired after the deaths of David Bowie and Prince, two musicians whom Lorde states were her main inspirations while recording → was inspired by the deaths of David Bowie and Prince, two musicians which were the most influential while recording

Release and promotion

Lorde first promoted her forthcoming album → Lorde first promoted the album
The website featured a short video clip → remove "video"
Lorde sitting in a car while eating and drinking → remove "while"
with the dates "3.2.17 NYC" and "3.3.17 NZ" → with the dates "3.2.17 NYC" and "3.3.17 NZ" appearing onscreen
This section is somehow messy. You don't need the "Singles" subsection when you already say a single was released in the above written. Please combine the two sections
Will comment on this once you've re-ordered it

Reception

it debuted at number one in New Zealand → it debuted at number one in Canada,[REF] New Zealand
The album dropped to number 13 in the US the following week → Include this sentence right after you've mentioned the US sales
Which certification did the album get? Please mention this in the lead, as well.
Kitty Empire of the Guardian said the album is balances the pull → remove "is"
from the minimalist aesthetic in her debut album → from the minimalist aesthetic featured on her her debut album
were well handled in Melodrama → were well-handled on Melodrama
year-end top albums lists → remove "top"
It was voted as fourth best album → It was also voted as the fourth best album
was voted in the top-10 → was voted in the top ten
ranked the album at numbers 7 and 10 in their respective lists → write out the numbers, as they're under 11
un-ranked lists → unranked
ranking seventh and first, respectively → ranking it seventh and first, respectively
Kitty Empire from The Observer and Carl Wilson from Slate included Melodrama in their un-ranked lists → Please place this sentence right after you mention other publications including the album in unranked lists

Other stuff

Copy-violation

35.5% is still acceptable!

Media

All seems to be on point.

Links

No problems here!

References

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article
No dead links! Good job!
I've added archives to 77 links with the IABot (see report)

Outcome

@De88: Hi there again! As you see, I've finished my first review of the article. Although there are several issues, I believe you could bring the article to GA and I'm willing to give you 7 days to working on it in concordance with my comments above. Feel free to ask any questions during this process. Best regards;

@Cartoon network freak: I think I fixed everything that needed editing. De88 (talk) 15:16, 25 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@De88: Thank you for solving my issues. I have read through the whole article again and corrected leftover mistakes by myself. I believe Melodrama is ready for promotion! Best of regards and congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:33, 25 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Thank you! I did find it a bit odd that the article still needed a lot of tweaking which made me realize that I need a lot more practice when it comes to finding synonyms.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.