Talk:Mehgan Heaney-Grier

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Promotional

My feeling is this page is too promotional in tone. I pulled some of the images that didn't seem to have much to do with the text of the article, but it could do with a general copy edit. I'll try to get to that sometime later this week. Nuujinn (talk) 23:55, 24 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is definitely to promotional.

Records

What is the deal with the record claims? 160 feet is nowhere near any records, even if she wasn't wearing fins, which it appears she was. What is the deal? Beach drifter (talk) 05:38, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The record she set was I believe the first US record for free diving. Nuujinn (talk) 23:11, 27 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm guessing this would be the first ever American to compete in a AIDA event? Some quick googling finds a few examples of previous documented American free dives to significantly lower depths. Beach drifter (talk) 02:57, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Edits

I've gone through working on tone. Some issues I tried to ameliorate:

-Removed the references to [[1]] web site--that's Heaney-Grier's official web site, so using it violates NPOV and COI, I think.

-Deleted a number of peacock terms

-Commented out the reference http://sanctuaries.noaa.gov/news/features/0107_ecocenter.html, since it doesn't mention her at all and is thus not a valid reference.

-Commented out the reference http://freediversafety.com, as it seems to be run by her as well.

-Removed the reference http://freediver-girlinthewater.blogspot.com, as that's apparently her blog, and thus not a valid reference.

-Deleted the external links to her myspace and youtube pages:

Official Page on MySpace

Official Page on YouTube

since I think the one link to her official web page is sufficient for her personal pages.

I think the article is coming along, but I think it still has COI and POV issues. Many of the references appear to be pr blurbs from her representives or are based on interviews with her. The article needs some more references that are truly independent and reputable. I restored the COI tag, since I don't think we're quite rid of that aspect yet. Notability is fine I think and the two pics are good for the article. I'm sure there are still typos and grammar issues, I'll make another sweep in a day or so. Nuujinn (talk) 23:11, 27 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your work Nuu , the article looks much much better. Beach drifter (talk) 02:57, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Did another sweep today, found some sources to clarify her role with extreme encounters and some of the other tv work. Moved some sections around, reduced some of the redundancy, and leaned down the lede. Nuujinn (talk) 17:12, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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Which organisation?

In 1998 Heaney-Grier captained the first United States Freediving Team to compete in the World Cup Freediving Championships held in Sardinia, Italy
AIDA, CMAS or IAFD??? 213.149.62.138 (talk) 19:52, 28 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]