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Talk:Laysan rail

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needs editing...

[edit]

Someone who's interested in improving this writeup could take these thoughts into consideration:

This is not important enough to be in introductory blurb: "This small island was and still is an important seabird colony, and sustained a number of endemic species, including the rail."

"It" is ambiguous here; if referring to the subject of the previous sentence, "it" is "This small island"; needs re-wording: "It became extinct due to habitat loss CAUSED by domestic rabbits, and ultimately World War II.[why?]"

Is this important enough to be in the intro? "Its scientific name honours Henry Palmer, who collected in the Hawaiian Islands for Walter Rothschild."

It's certainly not as important as the significant fact that this rail is FLIGHTLESS--which was NOT mentioned in the intro.

philiptdotcom (talk) 22:31, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

[edit]

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