Talk:Kendrick Moxon/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Lord Roem (talk) 00:40, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
- I look forward to reviewing this article. I will try to review this over the long weekend. Cheers, Lord Roem (talk) 00:40, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
- One quick thing to fix - there is a dead link in the references. -- Lord Roem (talk) 03:03, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
Section by section review
[edit]Lead
- The lead is good. I would add an in-line cite to the Operation Snow White sentence, as I believe it may be something 'challenged' under WP:LEADCITE.
Early life and education
- Hmmm. Maybe incorporate this into the 'Family' section, so it appears more complete? Hmmmm. You can decide.
Guardian's office
- I'm not entirely sure that Moxon being an 'Operating Thetan' is relevant here.
- When you first mention the Snow White investigation here, briefly explain what it is to provide more context.
- Maybe add a bit on what exactly the GO did.
COS Attorney
- The citations here are prolific and where needed - good job!
- Maybe divide this section into individual time frames because it reads as a huge piece of text. Either that or add an image or two of the people he represented.
- The last example of a case, from March 2000 in the end of this section, never explains what the decision of the judge was? Did Moxon win?
Family
- Add in a sentence of when he got married.
Concluding thoughts
- I am truely surprised that this article is balanced and neutral in all respects. Well done! Certainly viable for GA promotion.
Best regards, Lord Roem (talk) 18:25, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
Pass
[edit]After reviewing the changes, I see nothing further to fix or alter. I will now move to promote the article. Congrats! -- Lord Roem (talk) 20:45, 14 January 2011 (UTC)