Talk:Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aircorn (talk · contribs) 11:28, 20 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

From an initial read through I would say that the prose is quite a long way from GA standard. Many of the issues are poor grammar and sentence structure. I left some notes below from the first section. I think the whole article needs a good copyedit before I conduct any more of a review. AIRcorn (talk) 12:10, 20 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

In the original press release, it stated that the roller coaster's vertical lift hill would be 167 feet (51 m) tall, and that the trains would include a multi-media package including LED lights and video recorders on the trains, the option for riders to chose a song from a list to be played during the course of the ride and a top speed of 65 miles per hour (105 km/h). This sentence is a bit all over the place. The media package has a top speed of 65 miles per hour? The grammar is a little off (include a multi-media package including; trains would include video recorders on the train)
The tense is also off a bit, do you mean it to be in the present or past.
Also, in the months after the announcement, Universal began surveying guests what songs they would like to be included in the roller coaster including songs from The Black Eyed Peas, The BeeGees, The Beach Boys, and Jonny Cash. Prose is pretty bad here too.
The final piece of track was put into place at the end of April 2009 which was the top of the lift hill.

Fixed the 3 sentence issues. For the second point, are you talking about the article overall, or just the one sentence?--Dom497 (talk) 19:42, 21 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

In the first section it says "The ride also includes six near miss encounters" when everywhere else it uses the past tense. Saying the ride would also include six near miss encouters would keep it the same or you could change the other sentences. If you can go through the whole article first looking for these and other grammatical errors that would make it easier for me. I found quite a few and only listed the ones in the first section. AIRcorn (talk) 20:46, 21 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Where? I'll be honest, I don't see any past tenses.--Dom497 (talk) 00:16, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments AIRcorn (talk) 09:49, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The first track pieces were installed during the week of December 7, 2008. Is this ambiguous? It has a pretty exact date.

Couldn't find any reliable sources that gave a specific date, only could use the week, that is why I used December 7 (it was the beginning of that week).--Dom497 (talk) 20:09, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I added a tag asking who beleived the issue.

Done--Dom497 (talk) 20:08, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

A lot of the sentences in the ride section start with "after". This is a bit repetitive and probably redundent in most cases.

Done--Dom497 (talk) 11:25, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Because the lift hill is vertical, a special evacuation system is used in the event that a train stalls on the lift This needs some more info. What is the evacuation system? What makes it special?

Looked all over the internet now (and before I originally nominated the article) and couldn't find anything about how the evac system works. The press release only says it is unique.--Dom497 (talk) 20:00, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Also, the track is filled with sand and gravel to reduce the noise when a train is on the track I am not sure what this means. Do you mean inside the steel itself?

Yup, it is inside the track to buffer the noise of the trains.--Dom497 (talk) 11:25, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

It wasn't until July 6, 2009 when Universal Studios Florida unveiled thirty songs (6 in each category) that can be played during the ride. Is this sentence unfinished? I am not sure how the "it wasn't until" applies.

If you read the sentence before this one, it says that when the ride was announced they released the five different categories but not the actual songs. On July 6 was when they announced the songs. I don't see how the sentence is not complete.--Dom497 (talk) 20:03, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The song that the rider picked begins as the train climbs the vertical lift hill though the full song is not played. The last part of this appears redundant to the next sentence.

Done--Dom497 (talk) 20:05, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

If the riders have to board a moving train how are the restraints checked?

Umm, there checked while the train is moving...--Dom497 (talk) 20:06, 22 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The train then travels back up to the left immediately followed by travelling back down, still going left where the train enters the fourth set of brakes. The train goes back down, over a small hill before entering the final brake run where the train enters the station and the riders song ends. This doesn't make sense. The train travells back down twice without going up. AIRcorn (talk) 09:17, 23 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done--Dom497 (talk) 13:40, 23 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Was not to sure about the youtube link. Personally I think it would work better as a external one, but it is not supporting anything controversial. Other citations check out.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail: