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Talk:Herbert Hart (general)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Ed! (talk · contribs) 13:17, 8 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Generally, very short sections are frowned upon. I suggest merging "Early Life" and "Military career" into one.
Done. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... but his application was declined. " -- Why was this? Because of his age?
My source doesn't explicitly state why; he did falsify his age in order to enlist for the Ninth contingent so it was most likely for this reason. I have added the falsification of his age to the article. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He was also active in the Volunteer Force, being elected as a lieutenant of the Carterton Rifle Volunteers." -- You'll have to explain the meaning of "elected" here, or link to the practice, as it's unfamiliar to a global audience that you can be "voted" an officer.
Have expanded and added a ref for this. Let me know if it is not sufficient and requires further clarification. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Repetition: "In 1930, Hart applied for and was appointed to the position of Administrator of Western Samoa, which was then administered ..."
Revised. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " his wife initially moved to Cairo because of the general civil unrest in Palestine at the time ..." is there anything you can link to for this?
Revised and linked. I also added few extra bits to this section. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dup links tool is showing five results: Second Boer War; First World War; Imperial War Graves Commission; New Zealand Rifle Brigade (Earl of Liverpool's Own); Wellington (City of Wellington's Own) and Hawke's Bay Regiment
Have fixed the last two which definitely appear in the body of the article twice, but unless I'm being totally blind I think the first three must be getting picked up from the lead or infobox; it is my understanding that this is acceptable. Let me know if I am wrong or overlooking a doubleup in the article body somewhere. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • One image needs permissions: File:BG H Hart.jpg (I assume it's public domain but this needs to be cleared up)
I thought a CC-by-3.0 licence would be acceptable as it has been made available with that licence. I have added the PD tag anyway as author of work in which photograph was published died in 1931. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dab links and external links show no problems. There are no issues with stability or neutrality. All other images appear to be properly licensed.
On hold pending responses. Will check back later. —Ed!(talk) 13:39, 8 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ed!, thanks for taking the time to review this article. Hopefully my responses/amendments are all satisfactory. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]