Talk:Gessner Harrison/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 03:46, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

1. Well-written

Prose clear/concise/understandable

Spelling/Grammar

MOS lead

MOS layout

Fiction/buzzwords/lists

- Excessive genealogical material.

2. Verifiable

List of references properly formatted

Inline citations from reliable sources

No OR

- A number of statements need citations

No COPYVIO

- Earwig turned up something, but after investigation I determined it to be a false positive.

3. Broad in coverage

Covers main aspects

Stays on topic

- Excessive genealogical detail

4. Neutral N - Watch the peacock words - "momentous loss", "magnanimity" mot directly based on a single source. He seems like a great guy from the article, but Wikipedia is neutral, not gushing his praises. Basically, watch the adjectives you use.

5. Stable Y

6. Illustrated if possible

Media tagged for copyright status

Media relevant

Comments

Lead - Copy edit needed. There's some run-on sentences and some questionable commas here.

Copyedit of the lead done.Hoppyh (talk) 16:52, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The disturbances described in the article do not seem to be full-fledged "riots".

Sources Neumann, Hitchcock and Dabney all use the term. I have adjusted descriptions according to them to fit the use of the term. I can adjust further if needed.Hoppyh (talk) 16:52, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Family and early education His grandparents probably shouldn't be listed unless they're important to Harrison's upbringing or are notable in some way.

Grandparents omitted.Hoppyh (talk) 17:01, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"His father, also a politician" - No politicians are mentioned previously in this paragraph. Some copy edit issues in "His father, also a politician, served as County Sheriff, sat in the Virginia House of Delegates (1816–1817), and at the Constitutional Convention (1829–1830)." There's several ways you can go with this one, so I'll let you decide on how to phrase it.

Copyedit done. Hoppyh (talk) 18:03, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

College years "In contrast with many other educators, Thomas Jefferson, the university's founder, and author of the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom, was adamant that religious activities and studies at the school be voluntary" - Using the search book feature, I turned up no references to Jefferson in the citation after the next sentence. Did I miss it, or is a citation needed for TJ?

This is covered in the Broadus reference. Hoppyh (talk) 18:13, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Harrison, following his father's example, undertook medical courses which presented him with a great challenge, but he persevered, and was one of the first students to receive an M.D. degree, in 1827. He also took ancient languages, taught by Prof. George Long; he was a distinguished student in Latin, Greek, and French and was awarded an LL.D. in 1828." - Citation needed.

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 18:22, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Marriage and family - A bit too much detail here, see WP:NOTGENEALOGY. We should only include family histories to the exact point where they are relevant. Stating that Harrison had ten children is relevant. Nothing that Mary Stuart Smith is notable is relevant. Listing all ten children's names, spouses, and lifespans, is not.

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 18:34, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Age of discontent - "The student later demanded an apology, cursed and assaulted Harrison, and was expelled." - Citation needed

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 19:14, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Harrison dealt with misbehaving students in a "straightforward, downright way, using direct but kind speech."" - Yes, the citation for this is after the next sentence, but since it's a direct quote, we should include a citation after the statement.

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 19:14, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"This new discipline included a curfew, a dress code, and allowance restrictions. Virginius Dabney indicates that the changes, at least initially, only made things worse—the students’ criminal behavior further deteriorated until 1840, when Prof. John A. G. Davis was shot by a student and later died. The campus atmosphere did eventually improve markedly as a result of the measures which Harrison and the board initiated" - Is this all in the citation at the end? I don't have access to the book, so I can't verify.

Yes, all inclusive. Hoppyh (talk) 19:14, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Laying foundations and beyond - "Geography of Ancient Greece and Southern Italy" - The citation lists the title of this work as "Geography of Ancient Italy and Southern Greece."

Fixed. Hoppyh (talk) 19:19, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Style of teaching and leadership Usually, it's not recommended to start sentences with "and".

Fixed. Hoppyh (talk) 19:22, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Retirement and final years - " "he had done more than any other man for the cause of education and sound learning in his native state." - Citation after direct quote too, not just at end of paragraph.

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 19:29, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Works - Citations needed for all of these.

Cite covering all placed after the last. Hoppyh (talk)

Legacy - Citations needed for the two Harrison Halls.

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 19:54, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

General note You use a lot of different abbreviations for the University of Virginia. It would be best to stick with one.

Done. Hoppyh (talk) 20:02, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Placing on hold, Hog Farm (talk) 03:49, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I am grateful for your review of this and I will do my best to address the issues you have raised.

I think I have hit everything, and corrected puffery. Let me know if there is anything that remains and thanks again for your time here. Hoppyh (talk) 20:12, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hoppyh: One last thing - this one created during the GA review. "Harrison and wife Eliza Lewis Carter Tucker were married December 15, 1830; her parents were George Tucker, the first professor of Moral Philosophy at the university, and his wife Maria Carter, grand-niece of George Washington. They had ten children, three of whom married university professors; notable amongst them was Mary Stuart Smith (1834–1917)." is a paragraph with no citations. A citation is needed for this; the citation you had for the children in an earlier version might work. Hog Farm (talk) 21:32, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: Done. Thanks again—I’m glad you liked the guy—see last paragraph of Section Laying foundations...this is Professor Higgins from play/movie My Fair Lady! Also, you would enjoy the FA about his father in law George Tucker. In case you go, it is scheduled for the main page in August, so let me know if you see any blemishes. Cheers, pal. Hoppyh (talk) 21:56, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hoppyh: Great job! It's a GA now. Hog Farm (talk) 01:56, 8 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]