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Talk:George Howell (soldier)/GA1

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GA Review

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Hi! I will be reviewing this article for GAN, and should have the full review up soon. Skinny87 (talk) 17:45, 2 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    • 'he ran along the parapet of a trench bombing the German forces attacking his position, and thus driving them back.' - It needs to be made clear what bombing actually was - ie throwing grenades.
    • 'Allotted to the 1st Battalion' - please make this clear that it was 1st Battalion of the AIF and not a brigade/division etc
    • 'Participating in the Somme offensive' - Not an expert, but wasn't there more than one of these? If so, please clarify, if not, ignore me!
    • 'Leading a rifle bombing section during an attack on a German held village, he was decorated with the Military Medal' - Why?
    • 'Severely wounded in his Victoria Cross action' - what was he doing to get wounded?
    • 'Following the outbreak of the Second World War, Howell served with the Eastern Command Headquarters ' - clarify this was in Australia
    • As the above comments are about the lead, I just want to say that I did not want to go into too much detail as the purpose of the lead is to briefly summarise the article and then go into detail in the body. That being said, I have tried to clarify the points you raised while still trying not to go into much detail. Cheers, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 03:13, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • 'Evacuated to a hospital in Sheffield, Yorkshire, England, during early August' - I don't think you need all three area names there - removing Yorkshire would be good.
    • Lol, I wrote this and even thought it sounded weird, but as I am not an expert on English geography I figured I should leave it for now. Having been brought up in this review, I have cut out Yorkshire. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 03:13, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • 'On 9 April, Howell took part in the 1st Battalion's capture of the German held village of Demicourt' - need to expand this just a little, as that's not quite gramatically correct, ie it was an attack that captured a village, not as it is now.
    • 'Several times the section was held up ' - 'The section was held up several times'
    • 'In preparation for an attack on the Hindenburg Line at Bullecourt, the 1st Brigade' - 1st Brigade of what?
    • 'Their position was such that they possessed a wedge into the German line' - possessed isn't qute the right word in this context
    • 'From the initial attack, only the Canadians on the extreme right ' - Canadians of what formation?
    • It isn't specified in any of the texts I have, and even after quite a bit of a dig around I still have no idea what kind of unit it was. I presume it would be a division, but of course I am not completely certain on that. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 03:13, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • 'it was during this engagement were Howell was to proform the acts which was to earn him the Victoria Cross' - grammar, and 'where' should be 'that'
    • 'A fierce bombing fight soon ensured between the two parties, with heavy casualties being inflicted upon each' - What is a bombing fight?
    • 'Howell's father and one of his brother's had also served on the Western Front during the First World War; his father with the 54th Battalion and his brother, Frederick, with the 1st Pioneer Battalion' - This is rather unexpected in the context. Maybe add that he met the two when he returned home, where they had served?
    • I figured this was the best place to state this, and to my knowledge the three did not fight in the same battles together or have much contact. Also, by the time Howell returned to Australia his father had already been discharged but his brother was not until 1919. Any suggestions? Abraham, B.S. (talk) 03:13, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

An excellent article, which will pass to GA standards once these prose issues have been fixed. Skinny87 (talk) 11:56, 3 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, mate. Cheers, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 03:13, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Well, you've covered all my points, and if you can't find the Canadian formation it can always be added in later, it's not a huge detail. I'll pass this now. Skinny87 (talk) 09:16, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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