Talk:Fantasia (1940 film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:35, 1 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will take up this review as requested by Dr. Blofeld. I will have a read through this article now and will leave some initial comments in a few hours, and I can expect to finish this review tonight or tomorrow! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 16:35, 1 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:
It is well referenced.

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
Yes, well referenced.

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

This appears to be a very well written and very popular article, gaining 47609 views last month! [1] I will focus mainly on copyediting issues although at a first look there doesn't seem to be too many...

Initial comments

Lead

"an elaborate Silly Symphonies short designed as a comeback role for Mickey Mouse, who had declined in popularity" - since when did he decline in popularity? Was it fairly recent at the time (1930s) or was he never popular during that time?
"...is the 22nd highest-grossing film of all time in the U.S. when adjusted for inflation.[5]" per WP:LEADCITE it is best to remove or relocate citations from the lead section. Can this one be moved somewhere in the article?

Program

"Master of ceremonies Deems Taylor enters the stage" - presuming that a reader might not know what a MC means, could this be linked or briefly explain in this sentence?

Origins

"In 1936, Walt Disney felt that the Disney studio's star character Mickey Mouse needed a boost in popularity." - again (as mentioned in the lead) why did he need a boost in popularity? It will be good to open this section by briefly explaining why Mickey Mouse was losing popularity!
"Following their meeting, Disney's New York representative ran into Stokowski on a train headed for the East" - headed for where exactly? Eastern Europe? America? East of New York? It can mean anything!

Development

"Other deletions were Prelude in G minor and Troika by Sergei Rachmaninoff" - maybe something like 'removed material' or 'deleted material' would sound better?

Deseign and animation

" Each of the seven hundred members of staff at the time received a synopsis of the Goethe tale" - can you mention that this is based on Goethe's 1797 poem 'Der Zauberlehrling'? (this was already mentioned in the Progam section)
"Mickey was redesigned by animator Fred Moore who added pupils for the first time to achieve greater ranges of expression" - I don't know if this might be just me but I thought 'pupils' in this sentence referred to students! Can you mention that he added pupils to his eyes?
"Over one thousand artists and technicians were used in the making of Fantasia, which features more than 500 characters" - does this mean there were over 500 animated characters in the film?

Recording

"In the forty-two days of recording 483,000 feet of film was used" - it would be good if this could be converted into metres as well!

1940-1941 roadshows with Fantasound

"RKO balked at the idea of distributing Fantasia, which it described as a "longhair musical"" - it would be best to explain what 'RKO' stands for at the start of a new section. It is mentioned more than once in various sections but it would be best if it was explained first in this section.

1969,1977, 1982, 1985 and 1990 runs

"He directed a 121-piece orchestra and 50-voice choir" - does this mean that 121 people were in the orchestra and 50 people were in the choir?

Critical response

"Variety also hailed Fantasia" - is Variety is a magazine?

Awards and honours

"Fantasia ranked fifth at the 1940 National Board of Review Awards in the Top Ten Films category" this sentence should be in past tense
"The film ranked number 58 in 100 Years... 100 Movies in 1998 before it was dropped from its 10th Anniversary revision in 2007" - does this mean that it was dropped from the ranking?

Video games

"Yen Sid and Chernabog also make cameo appearances in the games" - can you please explain who Yen Sid and Chernabog are? (Yen Sid is mentioned again in this section, so it would be best if he was mentioned who he was in this sentence!)
"A music game based on the film, Fantasia: Music Evolved, is being developed by Harmonix in association with Disney Interactive." - it would be best to say that this game is upcoming for both the Xbox 360 and the Xbox One

Concert

"A concert version, named Disney Fantasia: Live in Concert, showcases various segments from both Fantasia and Fantasia 2000, set to a live orchestra" - this section appears to be too short. Some more information could be added if possible - like when the it first started and if it is still running?

References

I have checked the references for this article and there are no dead or broken links anywhere.

On hold

This is a very well written article simply said... the prose flows well and the content itself is very informative and concise. Apart from those minor copyediting issues and problems with past and present tense I see next to no problems with the text of this article. The lead pretty much complied per WP:LEAD and all references were in check. This is also a very popular article gaining over 40K views last month so there is much to congratulate here. Once those issues are addressed I will happily give this GA status! This article will be put on hold for seven days in the mean time. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:12, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, i think i fixed everything. Although i am not sure what to write about Mickey Mouse declining in popularity some sources say it was because he was being overshadowed by Warner Bros. cartoons. Also the Fantasia concert is still touring but i can't find when it began touring. Koala15 (talk) 18:27, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Koala for quickly addressing them! @Jaguar: Koala has addressed everything..♦ Dr. Blofeld 18:40, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

Very impressive - thank you for addressing those points so quickly! This article definitely complies per the GA criteria and now it can have its well-deserved GA status. Well done on another Disney GA, I knew that this one would make GA in next to no time. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 19:09, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]